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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Now It Is Official // Teaser Tuesday


            Now it is official--at 53,237 words Time Light is a NaNo winner.  The basic story is nearly done and should be finished by the end of this week.  There will be a process of editing and fleshing out certain portions and then I'll be ready to take the next steps.  I guess I'd better research my options.  I'm open to suggestions.

            Today in honor of my win, I'm going to do my NaNo twist to Teaser Tuesdays, which is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. I'll be offering a longer teaser than the meme calls for, but it's my party and I'll contrive if I want to.

            On the NaNo site there is a portion under my profile that tells about my novel .  One part of this section has a space to include an excerpt of the novel, which I am including in my post today.  However, before getting to the excerpt let me give you an idea of what has happened so far.

             John Proffitt has been out of work for about a year.  He has exhausted his resources and lost his car and his home.  To complicate matters, John has no precise memory of anything about his life.  His wife is on the verge of giving up on the marriage and leaving her husband. 
          When the story opens, John and his wife have been living in an old empty apartment building for a few weeks.   From the very first night, John has been wakened by shaking and sounds in his building and a light beam which shoots into space from the abandoned building across the street from where he lives.  While his wife is at work, he begins investigating these mysterious events and eventually becomes convinced that the abandoned building is a staging area for an impending alien invasion.
             In the following excerpt, after John has met Edward, a man in his neighborhood, who takes interest in the story and joins John in his investigations, the two of them finally find a way into the abandoned building through a tunnel leading from the apartment building.

              
Excerpt: Time Light


           They climbed the stairway. At the top, John very slowly cracked the door open. There was dim light from the sunlight filtering through the shuttered windows. His eyes scoured the surrounding area as he opened the door ever wider. Soon he was completely inside the first floor. He turned off his flashlight since he could see without it here. In the dim light he could see that there were a few closed darkened offices, but most of this floor was a wide open room. He could clearly see the metal wheels at each corner of the room. They all appeared to be identical to the ones they had seen in the basement. Their careful steps seemed to intrude upon a spectral stillness which hung over this place.


          Continuing on, they ascended the stairway to the next floor. Reaching the top of the stairs they were both awestruck by what they saw. The room was cavernous. The height extended to the roof of the building. Instead of the silver wheels they had seen in the other parts of the building, here there were towering pillars made of the same metal. The base of the pillars was like the wheels, but the cylinders that rose from them went to the ceiling. What appeared to be a retractable dome was in the center of the ceiling. Sunlight filtered through the boarded windows, but there was another more indefinite light that subtly filled the space amidst the four pillars. Something that looked like illuminated dust particles moved slowly in suspension in the center space of the vast room.


           When Edward seemed to start heading toward the center of the room John held his arm out to block his way. “We need to leave,” John felt an undefined sense of fear sweep over his entire body and a chill came over him.


           Edward pushed against John’s extended arm, but John persisted in keeping his friend from advancing any further. “Let’s get out of here now and go back,” then as an afterthought, “Please!”


           They turned away and departed with stealthy haste. John no longer felt a curiosity to look around any further. He only wanted to be gone. Edward acquiesced to John’s urgency, but tried to take in everything he could see as they made their escape. Once out of the apartment basement and in the lobby, John leaned against a wall and took slow even breaths. He realized that he was sweating and shaking from whatever he had experienced from what he had seen.



           So there's a little taste of Time Light.  I hope it makes you curious to read more.  Let me know if you have any thoughts about this excerpt or anything else in life.
 

44 comments:

  1. Congrats! I'm very happy for you. :-)

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  2. An official congratulations Lee! Way to go - sounds like an interesting story!! :)

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  3. Congrats on an excellent write, I hope to read more when I have a quiet time to myself as I am visiting my daughter later today.
    Once again Congrats. you deserve it,

    Yvonne.

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  4. Love the story and yes, it made me curious. Sounds very intriguing. Congratulations on hitting the official goal.

    Mason
    Thoughts in Progress

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  5. an interesting excerpt.
    I've noticed, that similar to our Alex, you also do not use gerunds, relative pronouns, relative clauses etc. to connect sentences. Instead, all of your sentences are short and simple. That is both a good and a bad thing. But I won't elaborate on it, since this is only a small small part of the whole novel.

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  6. Way to go Dude! Good Job. I am curious as to how it all comes out in the end.

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  7. Great job!
    Between you and Alex, I thinking I've been missing something by not reading your genre these last few years.
    Keep writing.

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  8. Arlee,
    Congrats on being an official NaNo winner. I really like the sunny looking award you're displaying!

    You definitely piqued my interest in your story. I was thinking it might be a great place to stay in -- a lot roomier! But the main thing is I want to read more.

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  9. Misha -- Thanks!

    Jemi-- Now I need to go back and read it to see how interestingly it's been written.

    Yvonne -- Thank you.

    Mason -- I'm hoping the entire story holds interest.

    Dezmond -- Love it when readers get technical on me! I think you would find more of these and other mechanisms that make longer sentences in other parts of the novel, especially in passages that involve descriptions or the thoughts of the characters. In this sequence I was striving for more tension which I think can be better achieved through terse sentences. Keep in mind also that this is an unrefined excerpt that appears just as it initially came from my mind and went to the paper. I'm sure I'll be refining this passage, but this one still might retain the short phrasing.

    Gregg -- You may find some of my discreet Biblical allusions interesting.

    Mary -- SciFi is a truly broad and varied genre. You may find mine appealing since it is more of a psychological thriller and a romantic love story.

    Lisa -- I hope you will be able to read more eventually.

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  10. A BIG YEEHAW Lee! What a great read it is as well. Now, are your fingers shorter from all this typing? :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

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  11. Congrats on winning NaNo! Definitely a major accomplishment. :-)

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  12. Awesome!! Great job! Just hopping in to say hi and thanks for visiting my blog!

    Kristy @ By The Willow

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  13. Well from what I've read Arlee, I can see why you've won the challenge! I love it and will read more! Love Di ♥

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  14. Congrats on your Nano win! Your novel sounds really interested! Thanks for visiting my Teaser on this Tuesday! Cheers!

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  15. Congrats again on NaNo!

    I loved reading the teaser!

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  16. I'm intrigued! Even if you and I are gerund-free, as Dezz would say. And looks like we are enticing Mary to the sci-fi side!

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  17. Jules --My fingers are any shorter, but you should see my finger muscles now.

    Melissa -- NaNo is a worthy achievement I think.

    Sandra -- Thanks!

    Kristy -- Please stop by anytime. Love to hear from readers.

    Diana -- Hope the whole thing is out there one day for all to read.

    Lisa-Marie --Thank you for the reciprical visit.

    Golden Eagle -- Thanks for coming by today.

    Alex -- Maybe we both need a dose of "Gerund-tol" (is that a dated reference?). And yes, Mary, sci-fi isn't always just geeky stuff.

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  18. You and Alex need to be "gerundized" by me :)

    Yes, Arlee, that's why I said I wouldn't criticize anything since this was taken out of the whole context. As you know I love your style, since you give it a certain amount of wisdom and intelligence no matter how simple or complex the syntax is.

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  19. Oh my goodness that is so exciting that you are posting from your own book. I am super intruguied by what you shared!! Happy Teaser Tuesday and Congrats on your win.

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  20. Dezmond -- Still it's nice to have actual suggestions given to me as it makes me think. I actually had to look up gerund because I'd forgotten what that meant. Now that I am reminded I realized that I have used many throughout my text and I was afraid that I was using them too frequently-- I mean I didn't get to saturation point with them, but I have used them. Keep any suggestions, corrections, or criticisms coming my way--they are helpful.

    Namine-- I guess I kind of cheated, but I figured might as well. Thanks for checking it out.

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  21. Congrats on the NaNoWriMo win! I can relate to the excitement, since I did too.

    Your excerpt is very compelling and intense. It aroused my curiosity about what will happen next.

    Thanks for visiting my blog.

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  22. Congratulations on finishing, ARLEE BOID.

    But honestly? None of this is as intriguing to me as where you might have gone with "NOTHING".

    Now "Nothing" was a superb start - a start that REALLY got my curiosity all worked up. Wish you'd work some more on that one someday, Brother. Rarely have I read a piece of fiction that so immediately grabbed me by the collar and yanked me in! I mean that sincerely.

    This NaNo piece seems fine, but not being a Sci-Fi guy, there's nothing about it that I find so "urgent". But "NOTHING" - dang, man, what a brilliant start! Now with that one, I really HAD TO KNOW what it was all about!

    I fear you have abandoned what was really your best idea. (Just one bloke's opinion.)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  23. Congrats on your novel! How exciting!

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  24. That's wonderful news! Congratulations:)

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  25. Congratulations! That's so awesome! Thanks for stopping by and entering my giveaway!

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  26. Congrats! Sounds like an interesting story.

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  27. Laurel Rain-Snow -- Thanks for stopping by and I hope you will come back again.

    Girl with the Hair --- ??? I went to see if you had a blog, but saw that you've apparently just registered on blogger??? Thanks for stopping.

    StMc -- Do keep in mind that Nothing was a piece of short fiction where everything is concentrated, whereas Time Light is novel length and has many components, this excerpt being but one. Actually as I was writing the novel I had Nothing kind of in the back of my mind and tried to recapture the same spirit. I appreciate your kind words about that piece.

    Purple -- Thank you for your encouragement.

    Debbie -- Always nice to hear from you.

    Lady Q -- You've got a good giveaway going on.

    Carol-- I hope it's interesting!

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  28. ARLEE BOID ~
    Oh sure, I understand that, McBrother. But what I am saying is that I think you ought to consider making NOTHING "novel length with many components".

    And don't get me wrong - TIME LIGHT appears to be well written and apparently has the sort of "stuffs" that Sci-Fi fans like Sci-Fi for. I don't mean to sound as if I'm denigrating this new project, because I'm NOT!

    All I am saying is... give NOTHING a chance.

    Take a few minutes to compare the responses you have received from your readers to this TIME LIGHT excerpt to the responses you received from your readers to the NOTHING piece. I think you'll see what I mean. (I haven't even gone back to review the NOTHING responses - I don't need to - I remember that my reaction to it was the same as every other reader's reaction: "Hokey-Smoke!!!"

    There was a real urgency on the part of the NOTHING readers to know the mystery behind that opening and to know what happened next.

    I guess I'm coming off sounding like a wet blanket here. Sorry, Bro, don't mean to. It's just that...

    "We want NOTHING!
    We want NOTHING!"


    Which is not to be confused with the chant...
    "We are SATISFIED!
    We are SATISFIED!"


    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  29. Congratulations on the Nano win! That's quite an accomplishment!

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  30. Hi Lee .. brilliant news having completed Nano .. well done is the least I can say! Enjoy some relaxation? Cheers Hilary

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  31. Congratulations Lee!!! Delightful news!!!

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  32. Congratulations on completing your NaNo novel! Good luck on the editing and such!

    -Kelly @ Reading the Paranormal

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  33. Congrats Lee, I want more! Be proud, quite an accomplishment~

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  34. Congrats on winning NaNo! I really liked the excerpt - I would love to be able to read more.

    Do you feel like your fingers have fallen off from the typing sprint of the last 30 days?

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  35. StMc -- Don't you get enough "nothing" from the government?

    Fredamans -- Glad you stopped by!

    Hilary -- No time to relax too much!!

    Paula -- Thanks

    Kelly -- Still have a bit to finish and then edit.

    Ellen -- Hope there'll be a book someday.

    Kim -- Fingers are okay, but have a bit of eyestrain.

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  36. Congrats!

    I got to 10K words before a houseguest arrived for a week and then I never was able to get back into it.

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  37. Wisdom -- Yeah, sometimes after you get your impetus interrupted it's hard to get back into it. Hope the houseguest was worth it!

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  38. Congrats on your win :)

    NaNo is so hard. This was my first year, I barely made it in :)

    Intriguing excerpt.

    If you haven't read Fallen by Lauren Kate you really should. It's great.

    Val Truth Be Told

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  39. Val -- Thanks for stopping and congratulations for your NaNo win.

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  40. I missed this post back in November. Congratulations!!

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  41. Lynn -- Thanks! A congratulations is never too late.

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  42. Congrats on your debut Novel ,Arlee..I read a little about what you have posted and it very nice.Keep going!

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Lee