This Is Me--2024 A to Z Theme

My A to Z Themes in the past have covered a range of topics and for 2024 the theme is a personal retrospective that I call "I Coulda Been" which is in reference to my job and career arc over my lifetime. I'll be looking at all sorts of occupations that I have done or could have done. Maybe you've done some of these too!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Ask Arlee: Can You Help With a Computer Problem?

Logo used from the start of the Chrome project...
Logo used from the start of the Chrome project until March 2011 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
        For my first official entry of my Ask Arlee series (this title seemed to get a good reaction so I'll stick with it), I'm going to field a question from our poetess/blogger friend Yvonne Lewis from Poetry From the Heart.   In fact Yvonne's questions will warrant a two part answer.   Next week I'll continue with some things that are making me as insecure as Yvonne is about Google Chrome.  This week I'll address some more general possible solutions to computer problems.

       After a couple of poetic laments on her blog about some of her recent problems with Chrome and the internet in general, Yvonne came to me with the following e-mails:

Hi Lee, I read Jacks blog post and joined as a follower, plus left a message to you.   I logged off last night and all was, however your blog for the ambassadors has gone plus a few posts I put on.  I have been told it is Chrome by various pc repairmen I have had look at my pc.  IE doesn't take blogger anymore so can't change to that search engine.  All was well until Google changed over earlier. I hope to have things up and running for A to Z as I have it already done. Enjoy your week-end. Yvonne.
Hi Lee after a horrendous weekend with chrome I was about to call it a day,they kept putting a warning sign stating my profile could not be opened and I would lose some things on my blog, however I decided to look again today and all seems ok except for 2 things. One I lost all my followers, Sorry for trouble caused. Take care. Yvonne.

My Reply To Yvonne's Concerns:

         First of all, Yvonne, no trouble.  Glad to be of help.  And you are helping me provide content for my blog.   By the way, I got Yvonne's permission to use her questions for this and next week's posts.

        Interesting that you should be having these problems with your PC and Chrome. I have been having very similar issues. I have not only spent hours in the past couple of weeks trying to fix them, but this past Monday and Tuesday I was nearly totally down both those days.

         Computer problems can be very frustrating for those who are not equipped with the proper knowledge of how to fix them.   That probably includes a good many of us.   If we're not trained to do computer stuff, it can be scary to try to start delving into our computers.   

           Paying someone to fix problems can be very expensive and even that doesn't always solve the problem.   You can shell out a big hourly fee if you can afford to and that's often the least time-consuming remedy.   My late step-father poured hundreds into his computers and often ended up with the same problems or new ones.   More than once his solution was to just buy a new computer, which solved the old problems until new ones came up for the replacement machine.   It was frustrating for him I know, but living a couple thousand miles away I wasn't much help to him.  Not that I would have been that much help had I been there.

          In lieu of paying someone to fix our problems, it's always nice if we can find a friend or family member to help.   Then, if we don't have that option, it's up to us to fix the problem.  That can be scary and may not always provide the fix we need, but before throwing money to the wind we may want to at least do some of our own research and try a few things.             

          I haven't been using Internet Explorer for blogging lately, but I think you may just have an issue with settings. When I  just looked to see my blog on IE , everything looked normal and so did some other blogs I checked.   On yours only the background of your blog comes up.   You must have something set wrong somewhere, but I'm not sure what it is.  Maybe a reader has a suggestion.

          I know it can be very intimidating to attempt to make these fixes yourself, but I'm finding that a lot of it is pretty easy to do once you've figured out how to do it. I for one can't afford to be taking my computer to get repaired when something happens so I go the do it yourself route as much as I can.  And I'm not talking about grabbing the tool box and dismantling the machine.  Just stuff you can do by carefully searching and clicking.

Here are some ideas that you might want to try to become better educated on the computer:

  • Check Google or other search engines to find answers to your problems. Enter what your problem might be such as "Computer running slow" or "My blog has disappeared" or whatever your problem may be. You might also try wording the problem such as "I can't find my blog in Internet Explorer" or "Blog doesn't look right on Chrome". You'll probably find some answers to nearly everything you put in. You will want to look at a few solutions since some just want you to buy something or download something you may not want, but the answers are usually found there. Time consuming? You bet! Complicated? Sometimes.   Useful? Eventually almost always.
  • Buy a good basic book on computing like PC for Dummies or something of that nature. You'll find some excellent topics covered for the basic user. Make sure you get the most recent editions. Time, patience, and thoughtfulness may be necessary.
  • See if there is a senior center near you that offers this type of assistance at no charge. Near me there is a senior center that has classes that are free for those over 50 and has computers for the use of patrons and provides knowledgeable persons to assist when help is needed. They might be able to offer advice.
  • For those under 50, classes may be offered at the local high school, community college, or elsewhere for free or a nominal charge.  There are frequently classes offered for basic computer skills including maintenance and simple repair.   
  • In your area there might be a computer club that will allow you to connect with more experienced users who are willing to help.  You might find someone who can help, learn a few things for yourself, and even make a few new friends.
  • YouTube, Google, and many other online resources offer some great video tutorials on how to do things. 
  • If your computer is still covered by a warranty, or if you have some kind of coverage on your computer or any auxiliary equipment or software, or you think you have an internet service provider problem; contact a phone support line affiliated with whatever you suspect could be the culprit.  Be prepared to spend a couple of hours on the phone while they walk you through various procedures.  I've done this more than once and it can be very helpful in locating the source of a problem and showing you how to repair it.

      These are a few suggestions that I can offer now and there are many more if you look around.  The bottom line is that it takes time, effort, and the will to do it in order to learn computer skills.  You don't have to become an expert, but just attain enough knowledge to update, maintain, and do the minor fixes required to keep your computer running well. 

      Beyond that be prepared to pay someone else.   I hope you find someone you can trust if that's the option you choose.

    Good luck and let me know how it turns out or if you have any other questions.  Next week I'll address the issues of Google Chrome as my entry in
Alex J Cavanaugh's Insecure Writers Support Group.  Yvonne is not the only one feeling a bit frustrated about Chrome.

     Do you have any suggestions about dealing with computer problems?  Do you know any fixes to the computer problems Yvonne might be having?    If you use Chrome, have you been having problems lately?  

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Monday, February 25, 2013

Taking My Own Advice: A New Theme for Wednesday

Lisa Loring as Wednesday in The Addams Family ...
Lisa Loring as Wednesday in The Addams Family original series. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
          Coming this Wednesday I'm going to start offering a new theme for Wednesdays.  Actually I've already begun this series with my last Wednesday post Suggestions to Improve Your Blog in which I responded to a question sent to me by blogger Daron Henson.

           In my reply to Daron I suggested that he might consider offering regular themed posts.   This is something I've been doing for quite some time now.  I fallen away from the theme-per-day format to some extent although I have been fairly faithful to maintaining certain thematic content.

          My Wednesday content for a trial run will involve my blog acting as a help or advice column in a sense.   Call it "Ask Arlee" or what you will--I'm open to any suggestions you readers might have on what to call it or if it needs a theme name at all.

          This is actually nothing new for me as in the past I have often answered questions or offered any help I was able to give others.   Some recent emails and requests in my blog comments have asked me some questions that inspired answers that have turned into blog posts.  Now I will present some of these that are still filling up my blog composition reserve and answers to anything else you think I might have an answer for.

        What qualifies me to do this?   Not much more than my abilities to analyze situations and solve problems.   I'm not a doctor, psychology specialist, auto mechanic, or computer wizard.   Don't expect anything too technical from me.  If I have no idea I might just try to be funny.  Yeah, that could be a real flop.

        After 35 years in the field of management I think I do know a few things about solving problems.   I might have good answers and I might not.  Best of all though will be the answers you will provide in my comment section.

         That's right--this is not about my brilliance, but about the genius of my readers.   You are some of the best in what you do.  Don't discount your abilities.   We all have something special to offer.  Today you may be asking the question, but tomorrow you might be the one with the answers.

         Ask, receive, and give back when you can.  It's the beauty of what we do here in the realm of bloggers.   This will be another Tossing It Out experiment.   Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't.  They are always worth trying.

         Do you have anything you need help with?    Do you have a problem you'd like solved?   Do you think this series needs a name?   Could this potentially be considered a controversial post?

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Friday, February 22, 2013

Why I Hate WordPress

Image representing Blogger as depicted in Crun...
Image via CrunchBase
        Okay, so hate is a pretty strong word.  I've resorted to a cheap attention-getting device to attract readers to my blog post today.   Did it grab you?  If so, great!  I'll use it again in the future to latch on to readers.  It's one of those lines that fit well into Twitter tweet format and hopefully stand out as a title.  But enough already.  Let's get to the point...

         I could have replaced "WordPress" with Disqus or any number of other formats that I can't think of at the moment.   For that matter a WordPress blog owner could probably write the same post about Blogger or blogspot blogs.  It's just those weird little complications that make commenting a bigger hassle.

       Many bloggers swear by WordPress and think it's the top of the line of blogging experience.  I can't say not ever having had a WP blog.   I've thought about starting a WP blog, but do I really need another blog?  I suppose I could export one of my Blogger blog's content to a WordPress site as an experiment, but that seems like a lot of trouble.

        Why the blogging factions anyway?  Can't all of the blog hosting sites just get together and make it easier to comment on all blogs without jumping through hoops to comment on sites where the host is not the same as mine.  Seems like I always have to go through a lot of extra work to comment on a WP blog and then many times my long thoughtful comment ends up in a spam folder.  Well, that is, I used to leave some long comments on WP blogs but I stopped doing it when they were getting eaten so much of the time.

          And I guess the WP bloggers run into similar issues with Blogger.  How often do I get a WP blogger commenting on my posts?  Hardly ever.   I'm guessing that it's because commenting is a hassle for them.  Then again maybe those bloggers are just WordPress snobs who think Blogger is beneath them

          No I'm not switching anytime soon.  The WordPress blogs mostly all look alike while Blogger blogs come in an array of colors and designs.  If blogs were movies then WordPress would be dry documentaries and haughty dramas while Blogger would be cartoons, action films, 3-D, and all sorts of experimental genres.    Where Blogger is fun, WordPress is too pedantic and serious.

          There are many bloggers on WordPress whom I like a great deal, but seriously guys and gals, can you stop being so serious?  Even the funny blogs come across as kind of serious.  And that's not funny.

         So let me retract my opening statement.   I won't say I hate WordPress blogs.   But sometimes I sure get annoyed trying to leave a comment.

          Now watch all those WordPress bloggers who never comment on my site show up today.  Howdy you all!

And Now to Share the Love...

      A new book from Alex J Cavanaugh is coming our way and today we get a preview of the cover.   You're going to be seeing a lot of this today if you haven't already.  Congratulations, Alex!

CassaStorm by Alex J. Cavanaugh
A storm gathers across the galaxy…

Byron thought he’d put the days of battle behind him. Commanding the Cassan base on Tgren, his only struggles are occasional rogue pirate raids and endless government bureaucracies. As a galaxy-wide war encroaches upon the desert planet, Byron’s ideal life is threatened and he’s caught between the Tgrens and the Cassans.

After enemy ships attack the desert planet, Byron discovers another battle within his own family. The declaration of war between all ten races triggers nightmares in his son, shaking Bassan to the core and threatening to destroy the boy’s mind.

Meanwhile the ancient alien ship is transmitting a code that might signal the end of all life in the galaxy. And the mysterious probe that almost destroyed Tgren twenty years ago could be on its way back. As his world begins to crumble, Byron suspects a connection. The storm is about to break, and Byron is caught in the middle…

Release date: September 17, 2013
Science Fiction - Space Opera/Adventure
Print ISBN 9781939844002
E-book ISBN 9781939844019

        Do you have a WordPress blog?   What is your biggest complaint about blogging systems that are different from the one you blog on?    Which blogging platform would you advise a person contemplating blogging to start on?    Why do you hate WordPress?

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Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Suggestions to Improve Your Blog

LinkedinAnswers (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
         I first encountered blogger Daron Henson on a discussion forum at LinkedIn.  Soon I was a regular visitor to his blog Daron Henson--Freelance Writer to read his series of short stories based on some of his favorite country songs.  The stories are peaceful and optimistic.

         Since I had already been offering my critiques of his stories and suggestions about blogging, Daron recently contacted me for some advice about how to freshen his blog and attract more readers.   Here is what he wrote:
I would like your opinion on something. I have had an "Inspired by ... Country Music" feature on my site for quite some time. However, I believe that my site is getting rather monotonous. Do you think I should add in occasional accents to my site such as top 10 music of different genres/styles/themes? Maybe an occasional focus on other aspects of pop culture? 
Check out my site at
Tell me if you have any ideas to enhance my site. 
Thank you.

Dear Daron:

What I latched onto shortly after I started blogging was regular features.  I don't adhere to this as closely now, but for quite a while I would have a special theme for each day I blogged and I'd make sure I was consistent in my posting of these.

This method is what made me start 3 extra blogs concerning niche themes.  So now I deal with blogs concerning dreams, memoir, and Bible study, publishing one day per week and always on the same day for each respective blog.   In other words, my Bible blog posts every Sunday, the memoir blog every Saturday, and the dream blog every Thursday.  Readers of those blogs have expectations of when posts will appear and I make every attempt to meet those expectations.

On my main blog, Tossing It Out, I consistently post on  Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.   Lately I've been delving into the theme of controversial debate topics and that has been getting a decent response with many long well-thought comments.  I think I've got some readers interested in this debate concept.

You might want to consider a 2 or 3 day schedule where you continue to do what you've been doing on one of those days but maybe expand the story themes to some extent.   You can stick with your current stories based on country music concept since that's kind of like a trademark and it's a good concept that you can take a long way.  Then on other days you could explore non fiction themes about writing, pop culture, life, or whatever.  The mix of fiction and non-fiction will create a nice balance and display your versatility as a writer.

Your posts don't need to be long or complex and most importantly you should involve the reader.  Make the posts as much or more about them than you or what you're doing.  Engage in conversation.  ASK QUESTIONS--this is the most important thing I've done to get better reader response. When I began including questions at the end of my posts, my comments increased significantly You want them to listen to you, but remember a lot of them would like to say something too.    It's up to you to facilitate those conversations.

Variety is good.  As I've mentioned before, you might want to consider the rigor of the A to Z Challenge.   It's a good way to test the waters to see what readers respond to best and to develop a networking system for yourself in order to make social rounds a bit more organized.  Check out some of the posts at the Blogging from A to Z Challenge Blog to get some ideas.

Hope that helps.  Happy to assist in any way I can.

Please stop by Daron's blog and provide him your words of encouragement and support.  Hopefully you will discover a new blog to follow.

      Do you blog according to a schedule?   Do you use recurring regular themes on your blog?  What are some suggestions you might offer to make a blog more interesting to capture a larger audience?

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Monday, February 18, 2013

Is It Too Easy to Get Married?

Marriage Day
Marriage Day (Photo credit: Fikra)
        Shortly after the Sandy Hook school shooting, the furor arose to ban guns or, at the very least, assault weapons.  In my post Should We Ban (Insert Topic Here), I suggested that before the nation takes an overly reactionary response in attacking the Second Amendment rights laid out by the founding fathers of the United States, we might want to consider some other things that could be contributing factors to violent incidents such as happened in places like Newtown, CT and some of the other incidents of violence.   Today I continue with my exploration of this topic.

       The post Should We Ban Divorce? stirred up a kettle of consensus more so than controversy.  There seemed to be mostly agreement with my premise that banning divorce is an improbable and impractical solution, but since divorce is responsible for many societal ills there could be a benefit to making it more difficult to obtain.

        Even though I had stated that I wanted only to discuss the topic of divorce in the discussion, several of you still interjected the opinion that marriage is too easy to enter into, thus stating what is to me a glaringly obvious flaw that can increase the potential of divorce.  For those of you who stated this opinion, I am in agreement and this leads to the next part of the possible problems that can lead to violence in our society.

         Marriage is a bond that is based primarily on emotions and practicalities.  Love can often be highly illogical and ill-defined.  Feelings about love can trigger insecurity, frustration, moodiness, and jealousy.  These are all trigger emotions that can lead us to do stupid things when certain expectations have not been met and we seem to have no control over the outcome of what is happening.

          Many couples contemplating marriage do not consider their own emotional well-being let alone that of their intended spouse.   Love is blind as the saying goes--we see what we want or hope to see.   We overlook bad traits or accept them as something our spouse will outgrow or we can change or that we will just learn to live with.   As is typical when the brain is left behind, emotions often trump logic.

        The matrimonial state does have many logical and practical sides to it.  These in reality should be the most decisive factors in getting married to one person and staying married to that same person.  This might not make for the most interesting romance story, but it should be the true story of family--forget the emotional fantasies that we like to create in our minds or see in the movies.   Marriage needs to be taken far more seriously than it often is.

        To use a commonly cited analogy, we have to take lessons and pass tests before we can get a driver's license, but I don't know of any place that requires couples to do any such thing in order to get married.  I don't even think you have to get blood tests anymore.   You merely go to the courthouse, pay some fees, and then you're ready to commit to one of the most serious contracts out there.   It all seems a bit flippant and crazy to me.

         Some churches do require couples to go through a certain amount of "training" before being permitted to tie the knot under their religious authority, but no one has to get married in a church.  Couples are free to go before any legally sanctioned representative who is authorized to recite whatever script has been decided upon and even if it's a vow the couples can say their "I do's" whether or not they even paid attention to what was said at the ceremony.

          A marriage license should require far more rigorous scrutiny than is now necessary.  Enough time should be added into the equation to allow for classes, counseling, and contemplation.  Love taken lightly can lead to making some very bad choices.

          In all reality, love is perhaps the weakest and worst part of the marriage equation.   Society should approach marriage from the standpoint of the more sensible reasons to get married and penalize those who attempt to benefit from the byproducts of marriage such as children.   How many fatherless families does our government help support now?   Why?  Maybe it's because governmental charity is now an assumption by people who want to dally in that which should be reserved for marriage.   There's a whole other source of anger and a negatively inspired generation of kids who don't understand the sanctity of marriage and family.  But I won't take that one any further for the time being.

          The concern right now is marriages that stay together because of the efforts of people who know why and have some good ideas how to keep the marriage intact.   Training and solid pre-planning are integral to helping couples misguided by blind love into thinking logically about where they are going.

         In many ways, romantic love is asinine.   Let's face it--it's often lust in a fancy disguise.  Lust distorted by a certain element of loneliness and societal pressure.   But when the lust has lost its luster and you've woken up one morning to the scary face of reality, love and marriage faces the true test.   The real love of marriage is not always going to be flowers, chocolate, and romantic dinners by candlelight.  There's also messy bathrooms, TV shows that you may not like, and dirty socks and underwear.  Isn't it better to find many skeletons in as many closets as you can find before you set up housekeeping?

        In some ways I can see the practical side of arranged marriages.   Maybe it's better to learn to love someone than it is to fall out of love because of what you've learned later down the road.   Living together sometimes works, but I think it also diminishes the institution of marriage and family that is built on sacred values and sacrificial compromise.

         But now we're getting into morality and values.  That's another post still and another reason we may be seeing the type of violence as we have seen with the mass shootings.   For now let's not focus on morality in general, but let's stick to marriage.

          Do you think people are able to get married too easily?   Should a waiting time or a period of courtship be required before marriage licenses are issued?    Should couples be psychologically evaluated when inflicted by that mental illness called Romantic Love?  

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Friday, February 15, 2013

I've Got a Team! Arlee's #atozchallenge Ambassadors


        Recently a call for help was sounded on the A to Z Challenge Blog and many great bloggers stepped forward to answer that call.   We requested volunteers to act as administrative assistants to the A to Z Team co-hosts to help us broaden our outreach to the Challenge participants.

        I now have a very eclectic team assembled to help me.   Please pay a visit to each of these bloggers so you can introduce yourself and while you're visiting you might want to click their follow buttons or subscribe to their new posts.  

        Each co-host will have their own auxiliary help team with corresponding badges to identify who they are.  Announcements should be appearing on each co-host blog announcing their teams and displaying the badge that will identify each respective co-host team.  The help teams will be listed and linked on a special page at the A to Z Blog.  

Meet Arlee Bird's A to Z Challenge Ambassadors for 2013:

Judy at 

Tim Brannan at   The Other Side  and his secondary blog that he co-runs Red Sonja: She Devil with a Sword .

Jaimie Ramsey at Living in the Light .

Yvonne Lewis at Yvonne's Poetry Corner   

Alana Garrigues at Writercize .

         In the weeks to come and throughout April these A to Z Ambassadors will visiting blogs throughout the list in order to introduce themselves to you and provide encouragement.    They will also be helping us to make sure all the links on the list are good and the bloggers who have signed up are indeed participating in the Challenge.    Those blogs that do not remain active with A to Z posts during April will be removed from the list.

         Please let us know if you are having any problems posting during April or if you fall behind for any reason and plan to catch up.    Through the efforts of the A to Z Team co-hosts and their subordinate assistance teams we hope to keep the list free from any irregularities that waste time for those of you who are trying to visit as many blogs as possible.

         My thanks to my Challenge Ambassadors and to all of those helping my co-hosts!



          Have you been telling others about the A to Z Challenge?   Have you done any special A to Z posts on your own blog?      How many blogs do you predict will sign up for 2013?

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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

My State of the Union Commentary

The Constitution in Peril
The Constitution in Peril (Photo credit: Renegade98)
         Perhaps some of you watched or listened to the annual State of the Union Address on Tuesday night.  I had it on.  Sometimes I turned the sound up and then I turned it back down.  Occasionally I looked at the TV screen for as long as I could stand to.  What a bunch of bogus blowhards!  

         My question is where do they propose to get the money to do all the things they propose to do?   No--wait!  Don't tell me.  I don't want to hear about it.   Besides, I need to grab a broom to sweep up the pieces of the Second Amendment that's been shattered all over the floor.

          Emotions were all over the room and all logic was stuffed into someplace we weren't able to see on TV.   But we could smell it.   And I think I smell something rotten coming our way.

          But in all fairness I'd like to end this post on a positive note by listing all the good things I heard in the State of the Union Address.

My List of the Good Things in the State of the Union Address:


           Did you waste your time with the 2013 State of the Union Address?   Who do you think looked the phoniest?    Who was the best dressed?   Why don't they have cool commercials like the Super Bowl?  

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Monday, February 11, 2013

Should We Ban Divorce?

LOL Just divorced. And no, that's not my car.
 Just divorced. And no, that's not my car. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
         Shortly after the Sandy Hook school shooting, the furor arose to ban guns or, at the very least, assault weapons.  In my post Should We Ban (Insert Topic Here), I suggested that before the nation takes an overly reactionary response in attacking the Second Amendment rights laid out by the founding fathers of the United States, we might want to consider some other things that could be contributing factors to violent incidents such as happened in places like Newtown, CT and some of the other incidents of violence.   Today I continue with my exploration of this topic.

Who Guessed Right?
        The perceptive Jagoda from the blog Conflict Tango came up with the correct answer of "Divorce" in my topic guessing game on my previous post.  Not surprising since she is a professional mediator and facilitator who deals with situations of conflict all of the time.  She read into the clues which I left in the post and hit the topic dead on.  By the way, Jagoda will be participating in her first Blogging from A to Z April Challenge this year so you may want to pop on over to her excellent site to introduce yourself.

What's the Big Deal?

       Divorce?  That's the big touchy topic that I was talking about?  Why did I make such a big deal out of that?    Lot's of people have gotten divorced and we have mostly gotten over it just fine.  But have we?  Divorce is no longer that big of a deal is it?

        Let me relate a story that happened at my church a few years ago shortly after we had gotten a new pastor.  In one of his early sermons he stated, "God hates divorce".  At the end of the service a woman who had long attended the church huffily stormed out with the declaration, "I'm never coming back to this church again."  She was a divorced woman.  The funny thing is that the sermon was not about divorce, but was about the church.  And the pastor was not stating his opinion, he was quoting what God had said in the Bible (Malachi 2:16).  Why would a believer get angry about what is said in the book that is supposed to be their doctrine of faith?

      Those whose lives have been affected in some way by marital conflict and dissolution usually have very strong feelings about divorce.  The affected parties range far beyond the couples involved, extending to the  families, friends, and many others who might have affinities with either or both parties.  

       Then there are the children in the cases where the marriage has resulted in them.  Herein lies the biggest tragedy of all:  The children are often the biggest losers in the division of households and frequently they must shoulder the burden of pain long after spouses have parted.  With that pain often comes anger, depression, frustration, anxiety, and so many other negative mind states that can be associated with a traumatic experience such as the divorcing of parents.
What Does This Have to Do with Issues of Violence?

        In the case of the Newtown shooter, Adam Lanza, one of the issues cited about his life was the divorce of his parents.  From what indications the media has conveyed, the sense is that the divorce of Lanza's parents was not a pleasant circumstance and indications are that Adam Lanza may have been negatively affected by the situation.  This is all supposition on my part, but I think this is a well-reasoned guess based on my life experience with others I have known and similar stories I've heard.

       Granted that many of the other shooters such as those at Columbine or Aurora have come from homes where both parents were still together.  Still, there are numerous cases where divorce has been the incitement  or at least a catalyst for various types of violence.   I don't know if any research has been done to show a correlation between episodes of extreme violence and divorce, but I'm willing to bet that there is a connection to be found in many cases.

        Of course most divorce does not end up with such extreme episodes as I have noted here, but all divorce contributes a negative force to our society.   Any negative force when multiplied can have drastic repercussions on the moral fabric of a society that can be seen if we look around us.  However, this process has been occurring over such a long period that the negative effects have been mitigated by the magnitude of the occurrence as well the denial of the evil of the act and in turn the wide acceptance by society as a whole.

Should Divorce Be Banned?

          Firstly let me say that this post is about divorce and not about marriage or anything else.  I'll eventually get around to some of those topics.  If you leave a comment, and I hope you will, please stick to the topic of divorce for now.

          As far as banning divorce I would say no.  It would be impractical to ban all divorce.  There are certainly cases where there are few other reasonable options.  That being the case, the fact still remains that all divorce is negative and one might go so far to say evil.   Divorce is a promise broken, a sacred contract that has been profaned by those who have entered into it.  But if no practical good can come from keeping the union intact then the dissolution should be permissible.

          My argument is to make divorce much more difficult.     No-fault divorce should not be accepted in the courts.   No-fault divorce in the modern age is a product of the Communist revolution.  Did you know that?  Look it up.   After all, one of the goals of Communism is to defeat the structure of organized religions and destroy traditional values to be replaced with Newthink where all is for the good of the state.  The takes-a-village society way of thinking is necessary when families are broken.

         If married couples seeking divorce were required to go into rigorous counseling where full participation was mandatory and results were to involve full accountability by both parties, then couples would be forced to work things out and become better educated about the institutions of marriage and family.

           We need to take marriage and divorce more seriously for our society as a whole, but most importantly for the children.   If we can diminish the negative forces brought about by divorce and the issues related to it, then perhaps we can decrease some of the anger and other psychological aberrations that can lead to things such as violence, shootings, suicide, and other harmful acts.

           For any who may think I'm taking a self-righteous stance on this issue and that I don't know what it's really like, I've been divorced twice and I'm not proud of it.   Those two divorces have been the absolute worst times of my life and I would never want to experience anything like it again.  Sure, I've gotten over them and I'm happy in my third marriage--life goes on and hopefully we learn and make the best of things.  One thing I know is that I have never seen a divorce that I would call a good thing.  

           Do you think divorce has gotten too easy?    Why don't most couples who divorce try harder to keep the marriage together?   Can you think of any mass violence incidents that were related to divorce?

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