This Is Me--2019 A to Z Theme

My A to Z Theme for 2022 was My Vinyl Record Collection. For the 2023 Challenge I'll be doing something similar with my home book collection. Lots of book stuff from A to Z

Friday, February 8, 2013

Is Too Personal Too Close For Comfort?

Poultry (Photo credit: wattpublishing)

           I'm planning on having chicken for dinner tonight, but I wasn't planning on chicken for today's blog post.   Yet here I am backing away from a topic that I had planned but just can't bring myself to finish writing.   It's not so much that I'm afraid of the topic so much as it hits close to my own life experience as well as that of some of you.  I will post the topic here on this blog, but not today.   Let it simmer in my mind for another few days.  After all the topic has been boiling on my metaphorical blog stove since mid-December and has been on the planning list for much longer than that.

           I'll give you a clue though.  It's a continuation of my December post Should We Ban (Insert Topic Here)?, which for those who haven't been following is a series brought about by the Sandy Hook school shooting story.  We hashed over the gun control issue on several posts on Tossing It Out and many of your own blogs.  Still no conclusive agreement there, but I didn't expect there to be.  It's a tough issue (for some, but perhaps not so much for others) and that's the biggest problem about arriving at any kind of solution that will satisfy everyone--many on each side are absolutely convinced they are correct.

        Gun control is a general issue of society that I find easy to bring to the table.  However the next topic I feel compelled to bring to the table is a very personal one for me and perhaps for many of you.  The opinion that I may be expressing here might cause some rancor among some in a much different way than gun control does.  If you're curious about what the topic might be you can go to that post in December and try to guess which topic I'm talking about.   For today I'll pose the question:

 When the topic leans toward being too personal, even though the factual nature of the evidence might be denied by those who believe their own experience does not fit into those seemingly evident truths, do you think it is best not to bring up the topic despite the importance of it and the potential distaste that the topic discussion could evoke?

        Okay, so maybe I'm being too cryptic with this question.  And maybe I'm making too big of a deal out of something that has affected all of us in one way or another.   Whatever the case, the topic is one that has bugged me for a long time and I doubt whether my talking about here will create any change about it.  And I hope my talking about it doesn't upset anyone too much.   No matter though, I still plan to talk about it to see what you think.  Most likely I'm making an overly big deal out of it.  Then again maybe I'm building some curiosity that will make you come back to read what I'm talking about.  Next week.  I promise.  I hope I don't break that promise.

        Do you tend to avoid commenting on posts that make you feel uneasy?    When a topic hits too close to home, are you willing to write about it on your own blog?   Anyone want to make a guess on what topic I'm talking about?

          I'll leave you with the following, which you may have seen elsewhere.  It just struck me as wise, but humorous in light of the recent Super Bowl and the fact that I'm no fan of American Football.   My last statement might be considered very controversial to some.   Feel free to throw prolate porcine spheroid shaped comments at me for saying I don't like football.   I don't care--I still think professional athletes are obscenely overpaid.


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  1. Amen to that!
    Yes, certain topics I feel it best to avoid and won't comment. And if your topic has to do with a certain three letter word, I feel pretty confident that I'll be able to comment on your post since I know the way you lean. Or at least, I hope I do.

  2. Yes Lee, the last photo is so true man! I can relate to the topic of this post as when I posted about my grandmother dying the other day I was sure that some would feel a little too uncomfortable to comment but the reaction has been wonderful and the support warming. Posts made with the intent of being rude and controversial are worth being avoided though.

  3. Oh, you cryptic man, you. I'll be back next to see what your topic is. Me? I love commenting on other's blogs. I'm not afraid of airing my opinions. My blog though has a purpose. I love writing short thoughts. Hopefully many will amuse people.

  4. Well said Lee.
    I don't comment on religion or politics as many of us live in different countries and their politics are different to each others. But by and large I will comment on any thing.

    Have a great week-end.

  5. I tend to be rather blunt (something I try to reign in a bit) so I'm not afraid to comment on something that teeters on the edge.

  6. If I feel strongly about an issue, I don't see why I shouldn't write about it on my blog or comment about it on other blogs. Just because it may be a different opinion, doesn't mean we can't voice it!

  7. Sometimes I mind my comments if my opinion is extremely opposite to the one in the post but if the blogger gives me license to speak my mind, then by all means I will.

  8. I think some topics are more taboo than others. I don't own a gun, and never plan to, but my brother is in law enforcement and his wife has a permit.

    I'm very fortunate in having never been in a tough situation in which they were a dreadful part of my life.

  9. I happen to agree with the sentiments of that picture.

    As for controversial topics? Depends. I will comment if I feel I have something to say. I won't participate in mud slinging because I think it solves nothing.

    As far as introducing controversial topics on my blog, I keep my subjects in line with my theme, for the most part. While I have opinions on politics and religion,I don't devote an article to either, altho I may make references to current events. So for me to talk about gun control, for instance, wouldn't work. Personally on that topic I think it's trying to control a symptom of society by taking away an instrument. But that's me.

    Anyone who reads my comments around the blogosphere know I have a strong belief in God by the way I comment. Usually those comments are in the line of encouragement to blog owners who are of the same mind. But I don't see the need to beat anyone over the head with it.

    Nice looking chicken, btw, lol!


  10. BOIDMAN ~
    "Evident truths", eh?
    Well, there are NO evident truths! I thought that by now everyone understood in our postmodern age that the ONLY truths are those that are determined to be true according to each person's own experience. There simply aren't any concrete universal truths; personal experience, culture, the family environment, these are the things that form "individual" truth, and what's true for you may not be true for me.

    Therefore, I simply refuse to discuss topics like gods, guns, and politics, etc. I will publicly discuss ONLY mundane and unimportant subjects so as not to offend anyone else and upset their own apple cart of truths.

    Anyone read any good zombie, vampire or science fiction books lately?

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

  11. Alex -- I'm not ashamed of the Gospel. The three letter word to which I believe you are referring is something I will eventually address, but that's not the topic I'm talking about here. Good guess.

    Yeamie -- I'm not intending to be rude though there may be some controversy for some who will read my post. I guess I'll find out.

    Em -- I guess I'm resorting to the teaser build-up in a sense, but seriously I hesitated on finishing my intended post--I'm not totally sure why though.

    Yvonne -- I think you will understand what I will be addressing.

    L.Diane -- Don't think I'll be teetering on the edge, but it could be sticky for a few folks.

    Ghadeer -- Sometimes it's good to wait in order to try to come up with the words that sound the best. I didn't feel like I was there yet.

    Al-- I look for the opposing comments to my posts. If everyone agreed there wouldn't be too much controversy.

    Miranda -- The gun issue has some sharply political divisions. My next controversy probably isn't very political. At least not yet.

    Karen -- I want to hear your response to what I'll have to say since I think you have some experience with it.

    Sia -- I don't see how there could be any mudslinging involved in any arguments about my upcoming topic, but my topic relates to something that often involves a lot of mudslinging.

    StMc -- You're hitting close to target. The Oscars are coming up and that culture is strongly related to the topic I will be addressing. So many clues I'm offering and I think they are really obvious. I should have made this a contest and offered a prize.


  12. I tend to shy away from controversial topics simply because I write a public blog and I used to teach. Maybe the ethics of teaching are still ingrained into me but there are other things that I just want to avoid - like conflicts with my family. I am more liberal than my family and it is easier to just avoid topics than try to discuss them. If I was writing as an anonymous blogger I think I would be a bit more free with my opinions.

  13. I don't write political posts. Now that I have a Twitter account, I've decided I won't be political there either. But I do post my views on Facebook. I feel it's a little more private. People can unfriend me if it bothers them.

    But I will comment on other people's posts, wherever they are.

    I understand both (rational) sides on gun control. But I have to wonder how we as a society think we can go on as is? We've had more people die domestically from guns since the 1960s than all the wars the US has ever fought combined. Who are we protecting in the name of freedom? Not ourselves. What is it in our culture that makes us so violent? Where do we go from here? I don't have the answers. But I know status quo isn't it.

  14. I do think the man (or woman) defending our country should get paid more than the man making the touchdown (or that the man with the ball should get paid less). I also think teachers/schools - who are in charge of our children for 6-8 hours every day - shouldn't have to beg money for supplies and programs. It's shameful.

    As for commenting on touchy subjects, no, I'm not afraid to comment. However, I tend not to post controversial subjects for one reason; it's not that kind of blog and I try to keep it that way altho I'll admit I've slipped once or twice ;)

  15. Totally agree that professional athelete are paid WAY TOO MUCH MONEY and the money would be better served paying the military and teachers, who both in my book are heroes.

    I tend to comment on about anything and everything someone might write, even if it is a bit personal, controversial or against what I might believe. What I have learned over the years is to tone down what I say in the comments and to realize people have their own opinions that I must respect like I want my opinions to be respected.


  16. I'll admit that I'm curious, but I won't guess. I will say that I think about issues but don't always post them on FB or my blog, sometimes because I don't really want to entertain the debate (which can be exhausting) and sometimes because the topic doesn't feel right on my writing blog. That said, even a writing blog needs to occasionally focus on real life. I tire of blogs that are all writing all the time without any glimpse at real issues that people face, things that give me a glimpse of the writer behind the blog.

    Now, I am an anti-GMO food crazy who is starting my own heirloom kitchen garden, so I expect some of my fanatical feelings about our tainted food supply (that might drive readers away from my writing blog) will find a home on my gardening blog. :)

  17. Heather -- It can be easy to hide behind anonymity, but I understand what you're saying.

    Theresa - I am heading into the territory that addresses the question as to what makes our society so violent. I think there are many things at work in this.

    Mshatch -- Ooh! Good one about the teachers. My wife (a teacher) where just talking about this this morning before she left for school. I'll have a few things to say about this later as well.

    Betty -- I try not to antagonize people when I comment or create enemies. I want to have a discussion. Anger or taunting doesn't get very far for establishing mutual respect.

    Julie -- Sometimes it's best to create a niche blog for our passions. This blog remains eclectic, but I still felt the need to create 3 other blogs that focus more on special interests that I have.


  18. I comment on every post I visit. I always try to find something positive to say, even if the writing is horrid or I completely disagree with what they said.

    On my own blog I'll talk about anything. I'll complain that Christians are a sorry lot, a lot of them not living out their faith, and then I'll write a post about how my faith caused me to set out a red balloon of forgiveness. Then I'll admit to skinny dipping and law breaking and shenanigans that I shouldn't have participated in considering my "supposed" (so I've been told...) faith.

    I learned (the very hard way) a long time ago to be ME wherever I go. Much easier to keep track of who I am that way.

    Bring on your topic. I'm ready.

    And though I'm a die-hard football fan, I can in no way justify the absurdity of their salaries. I just enjoy the game. I support my soldiers in any way I can. Stickers on my car, and other philanthropic efforts which I'd rather do in secret.

    Looking forward to next week. We'll be hounding you until you spit it out.

    Tina @ Life is Good
    Co-host, April 2013 A-Z Challenge
    @TinaLifeisGood, #atozchallenge

  19. I don't post anything at all about religion or politics....they are like --- -----, and everybody has one. My opinion.

    I will not however read or post anything at all regarding any form of animal cruelty or abuse.

    Today actually on my personal FB page I posted something regarding just that. I do not want to see pictures of abused animals. The images of such stay with me for days and this is why I don't care for local news or read the local newspaper. There is always something about it. There is nothing I can do about it and it so upsetting. I feel the same about children and the elderly.

    I am having chicken for dinner tonite as well! I use to be a vegetarian and didn't eat meat for years....I slipped however and enjoy chicken and salmon.

    Have a great day!

  20. This is a shot in the dark but are you talking about the dilemma currently under consideration by the BSA? It jumped to my mind because it touches our family.

    I'm usually okay with commenting on personal topics unless I think my views will be seen as hostile to the blog owner.

  21. There are definitely lots of topics I avoid and wouldn't post about. There are fewer that I wouldn't comment about, but there are still a few of those. :) You've got my curiosity working though :)

  22. Robin -- Don't do much in the way of video games myself other than solitaire on occasion. I'll be talking about video games eventually, but that's not the next topic.

    Tina -- I'll probably go for the topic on Monday. We'll see.

    Sandy --- I rarely talk about animals on my blog. And I guess chicken is out for tonight. My wife was not feeling well this morning and said she wanted oatmeal instead of arroz con pollo as planned. Maybe sometime during the weekend.

    LD - No, you're way off on that topic. The one to which I refer was part of the list I presented on my December blog. Wow, this is kind of like that old game show I've Got a Secret. I try to always comment with respect. It's like being in someone else's house.

    Jemi -- The topic on my mind will touch a nerve with some, but I think it's something worth addressing.


  23. I avoid controversy, mainly because I am scared to death of offending anyone. I'd rather just swallow my words than upset anyone else. So, I won't comment on a blog post that says something that I disagree with. I'm not going to argue. I'll just go away.

    Well, I won't necessarily go away. I'll only go away if I'm offended. Not much truly offends me, though.

  24. I have no good guesses that haven't already been thrown out there, but I'll definitely say my curiosity is peaked.

  25. My first thought was that you were talking about pork aka pig. And then I thought, "Well, that is just nuts." However, you talked about throwing porcine shaped objects or something like that and maybe even referenced it being a 3-letter word. P-I-G. Alex thought 3-letter word and jumped to G-O-D and you said that was Not.It. However, then you started talking Oscars and I wrongly went to movies instead of sticking with my original thought of Pig. Oscar-Meyer is what you were referring to and that also went with the Mudslinging. Pigs lying down in the Mud. This is a Pork Post. Well, that will be interesting...

  26. You bring up a good question that I ask myself a lot which is not do I want to comment on another post that makes me uneasy, but whether I want to bring up and write about issues that are very personal in nature in general or completely steer clear of them!

  27. Saw that picture on Facebook, liked it then, liked it now. Its a topic I get very hot on, the exhorbitent salaries of sports personalities as compare with many other walks of life, particularly the armed forces and also pensioners.

    I'll wait to see what you are talking about before I see if I comment. I tend to avoid religion and politics on principle.


  28. Liz -- Why does controversy have to offend anyone? We should be able to discuss issues intelligently and hopefully learn something from the discussion.

    Colby -- I thought I gave some pretty good clues too. Next week.

    Robin - You have me mistaken for a politician. No pork barrel politics here. You sure came to a convoluted conclusion and I've got to give you some credit for that.

    Dad - My topic might be one to which you will be able to closely relate if your blog name is any indication. A personal topic that I'm willing to share may not be viewed the same as I see it.

    Jo -- I guess anything can be tied in with religion or politics but it will not be my aim to do so with my topic.


  29. Actually, Lee, I meant actual pork... as in bacon, ham, etc. I thought maybe you were going to discuss the merits of healthy eating. Or get into kosher foods. You did mention banning foods on your December post or food additives. I thought that was maybe where you were going. I wasn't thinking politics at all. But, apparently not only did I miss the target, I also missed the barn (again). I guess I will just have to wait until next week...

    Either way, as you are well aware if I have an opinion, I am respectful, but pretty open about jumping into the ocean. If you don't comment, there is no discussion.

  30. I understand where you're coming from. No easy answers to anything. Sometimes I think government has taken all responsibility off perpetrators, and decided that if they limit EVERYTHING that could possibly harm, people will change their attitudes and live in peace.

    I work a job that promotes the no personal responsibility values.

    Post your opinion/personal views Lee. That's what your blog is for. Your post may offend me, or expand my mind, but whatever my response, you will have affected my personal biases and made me consider what those are.

    Controversy is the spice of life :)


  31. Lee-

    I did not read all of the comments, so someone may have already provided this observation.

    Regarding the illustration at the bottom of your post...

    ...the football players helmets are better than the soldier's helmets, too!


  32. Hey Lee! Well, this is exciting. The first thing I thought of was weed....then I thought, wait a sec...that's not three letters. Then I thought, pot. Then I started thinking about the chicken that you mentioned off the top, and I thought it might have something to do with veganism...or the cruelty involved in the factory farming I'm just not sure. I will for sure check out the post on Monday and find out. In the meantime I'll keep thinking on it...not steadily mind you...other things are bound to come up, but I will think about this from time to time over the next couple days. Now, where are my Cheetos?

  33. Robin -- Mmmm! Bacon. Pulled-pork bbq. Anyone for carnitas? I'm down for pork--it's all kosher to me.

    Donna - Oh, I'll post my views alright. I don't think it will be overly offensive, but it might be a touchy subject for some.

    Larry -- Yeah, I don't know what that illustration is all about. A bit WWI if you ask me. I'd say those football player helmets are pretty top of the line. I guess that's why they try harder to give their opponents brain damage.

    Eve -- Somewhere along the line this letter word thing came about. Where'd that come from anyway? I looked back through my post and still don't see anything about a three letter word. But, pot, yes eventually I'll hit on that topic, but it may take a while to get to that one and by that time it might be legal everywhere. Veganism and animal cruelty are not topics on my list yet. Cheetos might make a good topic though. Who knows what those things do to us when we eat them besides make our fingers orange.


  34. Hm--personal, potentially controversial and offensive to some, and a big part of the movie culture? Might it have something to do with the big 'D' -- Divorce?

    I will generally comment on any subject that interests me and about which I feel I have something of value to add. I believe controversial subjects, especially those in the public debate, need to be aired. The more views that get out, the fuller a picture we can draw about that issue. The trouble we get into, I believe, is when people insist that their view is the only 'truth' worthy of consideration.

    I'll check back to see if I was close on my guess.

  35. I do believe that soldiers who are serving our country should be paid more than someone who plays professional sports.

  36. I have got to come back now. I am super intrigued.

  37. Jagoda -- A very perceptive guess.

    Susanne -- From what I'm hearing in news reports lately a lot of soldiers are paying a very high price for having served our country.

    Maria-- Please do return.


  38. I love the game but it is obscene to pay someone more than he is worth. My lowest paying job sadly was my military job and my service (in the end) didn't even help pay for college...

  39. I don't like football either. :-)

    I think you have to be really careful in choosing to blog about touchy subjects; so much seems to come down to the way it's done, the tone you take, etc. I think it takes a higher level of skill than I currently have to get all of that right, so right now I tend to stay away from writing posts about things that are very controversial.

    As far as reading and commenting when other people brave one of those topics, a lot comes down to HOW they do it. If it's one of those "this is how I feel about this, I'm right, and anyone who disagrees with me is stupid/ uneducated/a heathen/going to hell/evil etc" type post, then I tend to back away without commenting. I literally saw red when reading one blog (that I unfortunately haven't been able to figure out how to un-follow) shortly after the election. It wasn't the fact that I disagreed with what was said as much as the fact that a lot of leaps, assumptions, and general "people who vote this way do XYZ and think ABC, which makes them less than human" type thing, and very, very condescending. The comments seemed to mostly be from people agreeing, with a few jumping in to argue the points made, only to be attacked further down the line by "believers". I didn't feel like dignifying that post with a response, and certainly didn't want to raise the person's comment count. It also seemed that no one's mind was going to be changed and it just turned into a place for people on both sides of the issues to behave badly. I don't see the point in wasting time commenting on something like that.

    Now, when someone addresses a touchy subject in a way that promotes discussion and makes people think I am more than willing to join that discussion and enjoy reading what others have to say.

  40. Moondust-- Hard to put a price on one's life.

    Danielle -- I don't think berating anyone achieves any positive goals. I strive for intelligent communication to open channels and not block people out. I want to have friendly relations and not run visitors to my blog off.



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