Do you think of yourself as a quitter? Do you sometimes throw up your hands with a flourish and announce to the world that you're going to give up? Or is your method a silent slinking off to leave one thing behind to start another? Then again you might be one of those people who are determined to finish something "even if it kills you".
Sometimes quitting is good. I quit smoking--twice! If I quit once and then started a second time does it really mean that I ever quit? The first time I "quit" smoking I went for about eight years without a cigarette. Then I went back to a heavy smoking habit for another seven years before I quit for the second time. That was thirteen years ago. I don't think I'll ever start smoking again but perhaps I should say "never say never". Perhaps I am merely on another smoking hiatus, but I'd like to think that I've quit forever.
That's a good kind of quitting, but what about the kind of quitting we regret later? People quit for different reasons--time, money, health, frustration, and other factors can enter into the picture. There are solutions for everything, but sometimes they just don't seem worth the hassle when we are faced with making a decision. Before we quit anything we should decide whether or not we will regret it later, and if so what are the alternatives to quitting entirely.
I don't want to be a quitter when it comes to things for which I am passionate. I don't want to quit doing what I know deep down I should finish. Giving up on something to which I have devoted much and just walking away with regret is a decision to have squandered what I have put into my previous efforts. Seeing one's efforts to a satisfactory ending is good investing. I want the payoff, even if it is not the one I originally expected. Give me a return on my investment of time, effort, money, and passion and give it to me with interest earned and a satisfaction of a job seen through to completion.
A quitter is not the label I want to be known by. I am going to try my best to quit quitting when quitting is not in my or anyone else's best interest. Quitting quitting is not always going to be easy and may not always be possible, but at least I can say I tried.
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Wednesday, April 20, 2011
74 comments:
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Lee
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I would hope that I wasn't a quiter and would give as much as I could when stuff started getting hard instead of just giving up. Good for you on quiting smoking twice too.
ReplyDeleteI am definitely not quitting the A-Z Challenge this late in the game, and I am definitely not quitting writing! I'm in it for the long haul!
ReplyDeleteOnce I decide to do something, I don't usually quit. If I do, even if it's because of circumstances beyond my control, I still feel as if I've let myself down.
ReplyDeleteI agree, once I start something, I like to stick with it--not a quitter. But I do draw a distinction between quitting, and knowing when to stop throwing good time/money/effort after bad.
ReplyDeleteI've always tried my best not to quit on things, but sometimes it's best to quit when the odds are stacked against you, unless you are 100% committed. Quitting a bad habit is always a good idea though :O)
ReplyDeleteQuitting can be a bad habit and it can be a good habit. You just have to know when quitting something is the right thing for you. Sometimes it is not so much that you need to quit but that you need to arrange your priorities and maybe spend a little less time at some things to make time for others. Now THIS is where I'm having problems.
ReplyDeletei'm not a quitter but the thought of quitting has crossed my mind in some cases
ReplyDeleteIf I start something, I finish it. If I plan to quit, I do so before I ever begin and save myself some time.
ReplyDeleteI am typically not a quitter, though I have had a few sewing challenges that caused me to struggle so terribly I simply threw the garment across the room and walked away. That's a 'wadder' and those don't count as 'quits' in the sewing world. ;o)
ReplyDeleteWay to go on the quitting smoking! That is definitely a good quit. Happy Wednesday, Arlee! :o)
If only writing were something I COULD quit! Think of the time I'd save and the stress I could avoid! Writing is so much a part of me there's only one way I can quit...and I don't intend on doing that any time soon!
ReplyDeleteSteven Chapman (writer)
I agree with Alex. I hesitate to start something unless I know that I will finish them.
ReplyDeleteI never quit on something I'm passionate about - that is to say I may take a sabbatical and return at a later stage!
ReplyDeleteThings seem to move in cycles - when I'm productive in one area, other passions have to take a back seat - but I revisit things, often fresher for the break!
Currently in abeyance is my Genealogical research - too many 'brick walls' and 'dead ends' (forgive the pun!) but every now and then new facts come to light and my 'detective' hat goes on ...
(what's that saying - 'winners never quit, and quitters never win'?)
You wrote this so well. I enjoyed reading it and understanding it and making your words a reminder to me.
ReplyDeleteBut whatever we do or decide to do, don't regret it. If later we find that our decision was not right, don't regret it but take new actions to do it again, if that is not possible, think of the benefits of the action. Whatever we do, do not regret.
To quit or not to quit, that is the question:-) The question I really ask is would it be a good quit (like quitting smoking) or a bad one (like giving up on a passion). Either way the path isn't easy but it's usually always worth it once you make it to the end... or the new beginning:-) Stop in & read The Quatrefoil Watch
ReplyDeleteWell said. I find the key is looking deep inside to see if I am quitting for the good or quitting for the easy. Rarely in my life has quitting because it would be easier been the right thing.
ReplyDeleteHi, new follower! I blog at http://boudica-marginalia.blogspot.com. I found you via Wistful Nebulae.
ReplyDeleteI think that knowing when to quit and when to stick it out is real wisdom. Sometimes a situation, project, relationship, or habit is toxic and bad and the best thing to do is quit. It's made harder because we think we can/should do something to fix it and if we don't then we're a quitter.
And on the flip side there are the things that are just hard and if we stick at them the rewards will be great.
Amen to that!
ReplyDeletequitting work or some project usually isn't good, but quitting bad habits certainly is!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've ever quit anything, except some relationships, but even in that area I always tried to work things out first.
Quiting bad habits is a great thing and a lot need to do that, myself included. But I agree quiting quiting is also very important. You won't get very far in life bu quiting
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you for quitting smoking, I've done it several times myself.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm proud of me for making it to the letter Q without quitting!
Thank you so much for this challenge!
When I saw the many entries for the A to Z this year I was tempted for a slight second to quit then I put caution to the wind and now we;re on Q a quitter I'll not be.
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
I quit smoking in 1987 and started again in 2006. Though never again became a heavy smoker, hated myself for doing it. Am now in process of giving up again - using nicotine gum and still smoking the odd 'other people's' cigarette, though when I blow the machine I register as a non-smoker!
ReplyDeleteGlad you like the 'N' post! Funny how sometimes the post that comes out quickly like that one did, works well while others that we slave over don't get the same results.
Alison
You have encouraged a lot of people to not be quitters by hosting this challenge! And congratulations on the "good quitting" of not smoking for 13 years! I recently quit a college degree program when I realized I could also be a writer without the degree. Quitting can be empowering in the right circumstances.
ReplyDeleteI posted about quitting today too. Sometimes we hit that bad place where quitting feels like the sane thing to do. But then, somehow, we know we can't abandon the things we're passionate about.
ReplyDeleteBut quitting smoking is a good thing. :)
quitting a bad habit is good..but quitting a hobby or sport because it's too hard.. is not good... I have quit 1 or 2 things in my life... I quit math... a lot of the time.. it's so hard... for me. and it's like another language.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the inspiring post!
ReplyDeleteI think we all feel like quitting from time to time - it's how we handle those feelings that defines us.
ReplyDeleteA very inspiring post here Lee! Thoughtful to consider the possibility of regret later on. I will now view my own 'quitting' through that lens!
ReplyDeleteGod's blessings to you!
Trudy
Samuel -- "When the going gets tough, the tough get going" as the saying goes.
ReplyDeleteJeffrey -- Anyone who quits A to Z at this point in time hopefully has a darn good reason. I've put writing on hold many times in my life, but the focus has been much greater in the last couple years. I don't plan to quit or put things on hold as long as I'm able.
Paula -- When we've quit we often wonder if it was really the best thing to do.
Amie -- That's true. An endeavor is an investment and sometimes we may be throwing good money after bad as they say. Knowing when to stop is based on practicality and wisdom.
Madeleine - If you start seeing that the outcome of what you're doing is not going to work, reassessing and coming up with a new plan is a good idea.
MybabyJohn -- Many people get into this bad habit. It's probably a problem with lack of focus.
becca -- I think we all think about quitting something many times in our lives. It's normal.
Alex -- I think that's often the biggest problem with deciding to quit. A person didn't fully assess all of the implications of a project or weren't ready enough and they realize it was a mistake after they start. It's better to do the research beforehand.
Seams -- I can see starting a project like that and wanting to quit, but couldn't it somehow be salvaged instead. I don't think I'll be starting any sewing projects.
Steven -- Sometimes a compulsion is very, very difficult to quit. Fortunately writing is not a bad compulsion to have. Don't quit if you are passionate about it!
Lee
Hi Lee,
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm certainly no quitter. In fact, I very adept at turning what may be construed into negatives, into positives.
In fact, I think it's very positive how you have been interacting and commenting on my site, just like I do on yours.
Take care and what 'R' you doing next?
Losers quit quitting and winners never quit quitting ... ??
ReplyDeleteerm ... I think I goofed that one up, but there is an old wise saying about it, much better, lol.
Marvin D Wilson
Quitting is good when it's a bad habit, like smoking. Glad you no longer smoke & think of all the money you've saved!
ReplyDeletekmecndry-- If you know you can't do something, you're better off not even trying.
ReplyDeleteSue H --- Sometimes putting things on hold is the best thing and the right thing to do.
Ocean Girl -- Regret is useless. It's better to learn than regret.
Up -- Fully assessing the situation is the best way to go. And finishing something difficult rather than quitting has greater rewards even if we don't do so great at it. At least if we try and give an honest effort we have an accomplishment instead of a failed endeavor.
Sheila -- Taking the easy way out is not always the easiest way when you look at the bigger picture.
Victoria -- If we have doubts about what we are doing it may be a good thing to take a pause and re-evaluate the situation. Quitting is sometimes the wisest thing to do.
Paul -- Thanks for stopping by!
Dezmond -- I never like to burn bridges but sometimes we just have to let things go don't we.
Belbin-- I think some of us just get in the habit of quitting one thing and moving to the next and in the end never get much of anything done.
Jersey Mom -- Congratulations for making it this far in the A to Z Challenge. Glad you decided to try it.
Yvonne -- Like last year, you have been such a great encourager to others and manage to get your posts up everyday. You've done a great job.
Lee
Hi Lee .. I am definitely not a quitter - I probably do way too much for others - yet not doing enough for others of things I'd like to do .. but getting through my own life with my mother is as much as I can do.
ReplyDeleteQuitting - no way ... cheers Hilary
I am not a quitter, at least I don't think I am. I have a stubborn streak that keeps me going. But there there are times when you do need to stop something. It has reached its end point. Knowing when to stop for whatever reason can be good too.
ReplyDeleteSig
Alison --Sometimes the silliest posts are so much fun that they are entertaining because of that. We all need a break sometimes.
ReplyDeleteKaren -- I kind of liked being the oldest person in my classes, but expense-wise I wish I hadn't have quit when I was younger.
Lynn -- A to Z is a great exercise in discipline. I know what you're saying about the writing course. I wouldn't mind taking one for the interaction and what I might learn, but I don't think it's a necessity.
LG -- Sometimes it is best to quit. I'll be over to check out your post.
Lisa -- I'll bet you haven't totally quit math since we use it everyday. Something like math is often easier to understand in practical application rather than in the classroom.
Fishy -- Thanks!
Juliet -- You are so right! Who doesn't get discouraged sometimes and think about quitting?
Trudy -- The possibility of regret is something that is important to consider when thinking about quitting something.
Klahanie -- I'm definitely with you on this! Sometimes we may have to change our goal or approach. Learning to adapt is a vital step in learning how not to be a quitter.
Marvin -- Uh, yeah, I know what you're trying to say.
Lisa from Nadir -- The money factor was a big decision making point the second time around. A co-worker asked me how much I thought I spent on cigarettes each year and I realized I was spending about a thousand dollars. Then I met the lady to whom I am now married and just decided to stop smoking since she didn't smoke and didn't really like it. Quiting just made sense all around.
Lee
Hilary -- Life is too short to waste time quitting.
ReplyDeleteSig -- Stubbornness can be a force that keeps us from quitting. But you're correct that we should know the best time to quit if it makes the most sense to do.
Lee
I definitely went through a period in my life where I seemed to quit things with great regularity. It was usually because of something beyond my control, and I would get fairly upset. So I've learned to bend a little and not be so rigid. If it's important to me or someone I love, I try with all my might to finish the task at hand.
ReplyDeleteI've quit 2 things in my life that I am proud of; Recreational drugs 10+ years, and Cigarettes 3+ years.
ReplyDeleteI am saddened daily by my quitting high school, though I did finish in the end. I wish I had done it with my peers.
http://fredasvoice.blogspot.com/2011/04/q-is-for-quiet.html
Well said. And glad you have kicked the cigarettes.
ReplyDeleteI don't usually "quit" things- I just set them aside for later...
I have a sign in my kitchen that says,"I was going to give up chocolate, but I'm no quitter!"
That about says it all! lol
Hey Lee! I quit smoking too..6 years ago and it's one of the best things I've ever done! I can say that I will never smoke again because I know myself and once I promise myself something I will make sure that it happens...or doesn't happen as in the case of cigarettes...congratulations on being 13 years without a smoke! That's really great!
ReplyDeleteAs for quitting writing..I enjoy it too much to quit..sometimes I'm not as prolific as I think I should be, but I will never quit, even if I never make one penny from it, which has so far happened,(or not happened) easily and naturally for me! If anyone out there feels like giving me a penny for writing, that'll be the most I've ever made from it! lol!..Great post Lee! Peace to you :)
I am guilty of being a slinker. And yet sometimes I will finish a thing even if it kills me.
ReplyDeleteWhat a clever idea for the letter Q! :-)
ReplyDeleteWell, it depends on the project ... sometimes I can be very, very stubborn and finish it to the bitter end (like NaNo!), but sometimes I do quit! *sigh* And I totally failed in giving up chocolate! *g* I think, I would never ever do that! :-)
Karin
P.S. Maybe you'd like to answer my little Quiz-QuestionWhich Crazy Writer Are You?
And post your answer then on my post Q for Quiz?!? btw: You need a Twitter-Account for getting the result!
I try hard to quit bad habits, but when I decide to do something positive I almost never quit.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for quitting smoking! This time I hope it is for good. Now if only my husband would quit -again!
Brianna
I not a quitter. When it comes to bad habits I like to call it stopping. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy mom quit smoking something like three times. She hasn't smoked in almost 12 years.
ReplyDeleteI think that it is important to understand why you're quitting. For example; to quit smoking for your wife is very different than quitting for yourself.
ReplyDeleteAs far as quitting other things, it is very individual and important to evaluate why you feel like quitting. Quitting when you have lost interest of found something more interesting to spend your time on is very different than quitting because it's just too hard.
I don't think of myself as a quiter. However, I did one time quit something that I have regretted and would love to "take back" or do over. But many times we don't get that opportunity so I need to think very carefully before I make that decision again.
ReplyDeleteI did quit smoking twice also. I remember those days, when I could smoke right at my desk in my office, or in a restaurant, and even on an airplane.
Gregg Metcalf
Colossians 1:28-29
Gospel-driven Disciples
awesome post! We must be on the same wavelength. My post today was partly on quitting and partly on querying.
ReplyDeletenutschell
www.thewritingnut.com
I don't think of myself as a quitter. Believe me, there are several times when I wanted to just give up, but it actually only made me work harder to complete the task at hand.
ReplyDeleteMy Q post is about quiet time.
http://mom2nick.typepad.com/heres_whats_new/2011/04/q-is-for-quiet-time-.html
Thanks for looking.
Laura T.
I think I missed something about the A-Z challenge. Baygirl32 wanted to know why I was on 'T' when she was on 'Q' (as are you). She mentioned something about taking Sundays off. Whoops, guess I missed that.
ReplyDeleteHope that doesn't disqualify me from any nonexistent prize. Oh, well, at this point, I'll keep pressing on-'Z' is scheduled for April 26th.
Still having fun with it.
Dang it, it WASN'T baygirl32. It was Giggle, Laugh, Cry. Maybe it's NOT so crazy that I missed it!
ReplyDeleteQuitting is good, so long as one is truly committed to it. So, to quit any 'bad' habit is only successful if the compulsion to quit is honestly felt and answered. In other words, it is never an altruistic act.
ReplyDeleteI don't consider myself a quitter. I might procrastinate til the end but I usually finish.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a quitter, though I do know when to cut bait.
ReplyDeleteAbout mixing genres, I would mix history and mystery.
Walk2write -- Finishing requires an ability to adapt. Rarely do most plans work out exactly.
ReplyDeleteFredamans -- Ah, yes, the crazy decisions of our youths.
Rae -- I am like that with many things like chocolate--I'm convinced that some of these things must be good for me in some way.
Eve -- I'm with you-- can't imagine giving up writing for any reason other than just not being able to for some reason.
Ann-- It kind of depends. I'll sometimes do that same thing.
Karin -- I don't like to quit things but sometimes I just lose the desire or interest. I'll try to get over to check the question but I don't have a Twitter account and probably won't be opening one in April.
Brianna --- If it's a good thing it's best to finish. I'm getting better about finishing.
Holly -- I was thinking about the difference between quitting and stopping but decided not to get into it in this post. It would have made it a lot longer. But you are right there is a difference.
Marjorie -- It makes a lot of sense to quit smoking.
Pam -- You are correct. Evaluating your motivation to quit something will help you make a better decision if you are honest with yourself.
ReplyDeleteGregg -- I too remember those smoke anywhere days. I was usually a very considerate smoker since prior to smoking I had been a radically vehement anti-smoker. That's a weird story in itself.
Nutschell -- I hope it's not quitting querying completely. I try to make it over to check it out.
Laura -- Sometimes the temptation to quit is enough to make us push forward harder.
Al -- We may have to fire you from the Challenge. I see what the A to Z board of directors has to say.
Seriously though, about this time people get all over the alphabet. Somebody just started in yesterday. A couple others are already finished . Some people just quit.
Jabblog -- This is true.
Clarissa -- Procrastinator is a way I might prefer to look at things as well in certain cases.
Gail -- History and mystery? That can be a very good mix.
Lee
Definitely quit the bad stuff, like smoking. Don't quit on the good stuff, whatever we think is the good stuff, though of course there's only so much we can do in a day. So it becomes making choices to do something that's good over something else that's also good. That's life.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I'm going to put your brother's blog icon on my sidebar with several others I've posted there. I think he's a wonderful writer. Through his writing, he can contribute so very much.
Ann Carbine Best, Long Journey Home
I hate quitting anything! Congrats on the quitting smoking too. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks too for hosting this A-Z Challenge, I am loving the new fans to my page too! I had a goal of reaching 100 followers by the end of the challenge, but I am starting to think I may not make that goal. I have however visited SO many new blogs and found a bunch of new writers I am sure I will be following long after the challenge is over, so what a great gift that is.
There are a lot of very positive and creative people doing this challenge, I am just thankful to be a part of it. Thanks!!
http://snakesmomcrazykidscartoonart.blogspot.com
I really have a problem quitting - or letting my kids quit something.
ReplyDeleteMy mom wouldn't let me quit things I had committed to. I'm so grateful for that because it really taught me how to stick with things. I try not to quit, though I sometimes need to readjust my priorities or objectives when I realize my personal expectations aren't totally realistic.
ReplyDeleteMy dad feared I was a quitter and called me on it many years ago. I told him that I quit a couple of bad marriages, I quit smoking and I quit a few jobs but I would never quit loving him. He never mentioned it again...
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I quit a relationship, before it sucked the life out of me. I worked with a woman, that emotional drained me. It was difficult. I quit my job when I fell and had to have surgery. I finish the important stuff~
ReplyDeleteNever really thought of myself as a quitter. I've quit things. I usually like to use the term 'in transition'.
ReplyDeleteAnn -- It's best not to put too much on your plate at the buffet or in life. Thanks for helping to promote Dan's blog. He enjoys the readers and some contact from the outside world will be a very positive thing for him.
ReplyDeleteSnakesmom-- Glad to hear that you are benefiting from the A to Z Challenge.
Debbie -- My father never forced us to do anything but if we started something he didn't like for us to quit.
Karen -- Like what I just said in the previous response. I also think it's preferable to re-evaluate and readjust. Just giving up is not very inspirational.
Jan -- I think your father was trying to advise you for your best interests; maybe he was just taking the wrong approach. My dad did that sometimes.
Ella -- It's better to quit than for something to bring you down or worse. Sometimes walking away is the best thing to do.
Busy91 -- "In transition" works for me.
Lee
It's not quitting if you plan on finishing it at some point in the future right? I just don't know when I'll finish but I promise it's not quitting!
ReplyDeleteGreat post btw.
Being able to Quit Quitting is a huge accomplishment, especially when it involves things that we will regret, so thank you for writing this post and reminding us all the importance of seeing projects or passions that we start or work on through to the end.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that I've been a quitter at different times in my life. I don't seem to be able to recall any of these times right now but I'm sure there are a few.
Let's see. Hmmm....(thinking for a few seconds)
Oh wait! I got it!
I quit trying to learn how to make good pancakes. I've tried to make pancakes on a number of occasions, ever since I was in my late teenage years and every time, I would end up with a batch of either too thin, too lumpy, oddly shaped, burned or slightly uncooked in some areas pancakes and I'd end up in tears because I just couldn't seem to get it right.
Last year, or the year before last, I tried it again to no avail. This time, I said "screw it," bought a waffle maker and called it a day.
No more pancakes! At least, in my kitchen.
The Madlab Post
Sometimes I want to quit on things, but make myself do it. I feel too guilty if I don't.
ReplyDeleteRe pavlova. It's a large meringe-based dessert. The inside is all marshmallowy and outside is the meringe. Is so delicious with piles of whipped cream and whatever fruit you fancy sliced on top. :)
OMG I just spent ages on a comment and it vanished!! AARRGH!!!! I'm livid! Lets just say in brief that this was a very thought provoking post - disturbingly so in some respects.
ReplyDeleteI greatly appreciate your follow too - a-z strikes again! ;D
Arlee you are a genius.This great creativity.I'm highly uplifted.I'm following you for subsequent posts.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, plz pass by my blog which talks about freeing your mind,follow and comment to aid me improve my works.Positive Mind,Prosperous Day and Prolific Work Done.Thanks in advance.
EBENDY.
I don't mind quitting the bad things. I've quit smoking, quit drinking, quit sugar (lol, had to for health), trying to quit cursing, quit biting my nails,...things like that.
ReplyDeleteBut, I wouldn't want to be known as a quitter for anything else, so I always push on until it's done.
Nice post!
Whew, when I saw your title I was worried that you were quitting the challenge, repeating yourself for emphasis. I am glad you are only Quitting Quitting, or maybe by know you have already Quit Quitting. Wonderful post, and good points about productive and non-productive quitting, and in my opinion if you went 8 years, yes you quit twice.
ReplyDeleteThere have been certain things that I'm glad I quit (like jobs). But the biggest keys for me are evaluating WHY I want to quit and giving myself time to really think it over. This gives me confidence I'm not quitting because of laziness, boredom, or random feelings, but because I'm headed down the wrong path.
ReplyDeleteIt's best to evaluate our reasons for quitting something rather than just up and walking away from it. There may be alternatives to just plain quitting.
ReplyDeleteLee