Fearing the future seems like a futile expenditure of energy. Why fear what hasn't happened yet? Unless you're going to the dentist maybe. Or some kind of medical procedure. Or get your taxes done. Or--or what? What could possibly happen? Lots of things I suppose, but fear won't make it better. Planning might, but not being afraid...
Future Fears Fault
For many years, when I was much younger, I feared many things. I was afraid of people or trying new things. I was afraid to go certain places. In essence, I think I was most afraid of failing. Fear of failure prevents many of us from taking advantages of opportunities or having memorable experiences. The fear of failing can keep us from even trying so that we can be assured that we can't fail when in reality the inaction becomes its own failure.
If we don't try then we won't fail, but we won't succeed either. I have had to really push myself to do certain things in my past. I faltered due to fearing what I was afraid might happen and missed out many times. But when I did try I often succeeded and that gave me more confidence. If I failed I realized that things just kept moving on and I could try again. Then I might succeed or continue to fail. It's just the story of life.
Maybe I'm not everything that I could have been in life, but I am what I am. If I missed out on anything I would say it was my future fears fault. I didn't act at times because I was afraid of something that I thought could or might happen if I kept going forward. It's the way it was meant to be I guess, but still--sometimes I wonder.
And now I don't care all that much. Whatever happens will happen and that's that. I'm very much future oriented, but I'm also realistic about whatever limitations I may face. No point in being afraid about what might happen. No point in saying it was future fears fault.
Are you sometimes hindered by what you are afraid might be an outcome? Do you think the future is fixed? What do you wish you had pursued in your life that fear kept you from doing?
The fear of failing is definitely a psychological block that's challenging to overcome. Sometimes I'm capable of doing it, and other times, well, it gets the better of me and I let that fear win. I wish I could be fearless but only in my dreams I suppose
ReplyDeleteAmelia, I usually am a bit fearless in my dreams. Or at least more curious than afraid.
DeleteLee
This is Birgit…my mom always said that I fear things 5 years in the future. My old piano teacher, Sister Alphonse, said the same thing. For the first 18 years of my life I was scared almost every day, ..I think it was due to all the bullying I received during my school time. Being told that they were going to kill me and I won’t see it coming, will do that especially when, every year, my mom had to bring me to the emergency because they tried to break my hand. My hand or finger would be badly swollen but I never broke a bone. They also gave me a small concussion so my mom just made sure I didn’t fall asleep. Due to this, I never took art class because I was so fearful that I would be ridiculed and I loved art so much that I made sure no one knew. I could draw and was told I was good but I always wanted to be an art historian or work in a museum. I also would have loved to work on restoration. Alas, that never happened but, due to what I dealt with, I realized I wanted to help people. I wasn’t sure how but I ended up in a field where I do help people and I realize it is where I was meant to be. I learned not to let fear overrule me so no matter how much I shake in my knees, I never show fear and I barrel through.
ReplyDeleteBirgit, everything in life is an opportunity and how we react makes the biggest difference. But still life goes on and new opportunities come our way.
DeleteLee
I'm pretty content with where I am in life.
ReplyDeleteJamie (jannghi.blogspot.com):
ReplyDeleteI have anxiety, so you can guess how this happened to me!
I'm sure we all have our own particular dances with fear, but I agree it's energy wasted. My mother's mantra used to be "Nothing is ever as bad as you feared, nor as good as you hoped." I have to say that wasn't actually the most uplifting life advice one could get, but I think she nailed it on the fear part.
ReplyDeleteDeborah, I think your mother's advice is as good as things can be described. It's reality. And life is filled with surprises.
DeleteLee
Nothing comes to mind. I'm not really afraid of much. Except clowns.
ReplyDeleteAl, you'd probably not like my garage exhibit of clown art. They came from my parents' collection after they died. Cheap stuff, but I like it.
DeleteLee
That's it! Most fears center around failing. But by not trying, that is also failing because we've failed to try.
ReplyDeleteL.Diane, so many things I didn't try in life because of fear, but I guess that was meant to be.
DeleteLee
Over my decades, I have to say that I was not afraid of much (snakes don't count). Now that I am in the 7th decade, I find I am afraid of so many things. Like falling...that is a curse and a true fear. I pray, "Lord don't let me fall" whenever I start to walk.
ReplyDeleteIf I could stick a video on this post, I have one that would fit mightily- The Beths and Future Me Hates Me.
ReplyDeleteThis post offers a reflective and honest take on the impact of fear, particularly the fear of failure, on one's life. It's easy to let the possibility of failure hold us back from trying new things, but as you point out, not acting can lead to a different kind of failure—regret. It’s refreshing to read your perspective on not letting fear dictate your future, and how you've learned to embrace both success and failure. Life is, indeed, a journey where the fear of the unknown shouldn't prevent us from moving forward. I shared a new post; you are invited to read.
ReplyDelete