This Is Me--2024 A to Z Theme

My A to Z Themes in the past have covered a range of topics and for 2024 the theme is a personal retrospective that I call "I Coulda Been" which is in reference to my job and career arc over my lifetime. I'll be looking at all sorts of occupations that I have done or could have done. Maybe you've done some of these too!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Nifty Fifty

Tizzy's blogfest is to celebrate reaching 50 followers on her Impossible Dreams blog.  The idea is to create something with 50 as the theme.  My entry is a short little story.  After you've read mine make sure you go to Tizzy's site to find the other entries and read them as well.

                                          The Big Five O

         Maybe she had listened one too many times to Paul Simon's "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover".  Or maybe she had realized that she was still a relatively young hot babe and I had just turned fifty.

          Sure, back when we had gotten married everyone was telling me I was making a mistake.  Some suggested I was using 50% of my brain in thinking out this marriage thing--maybe I wasn't thinking with my brain at all.  Now I had gained fifty pounds and she had gained some devious knowledge of how to separate me from nearly everything I owned.

           So on my fiftieth birthday I was handed divorce papers drawn up by the $99 paralegal who was offering a $50 special.  Oh yeah, they all thought it was fair and equitable.  It was a fifty-fifty split--she got the assets and I got the debt.

           At least I got the pick-up truck--a 1988 Ford F-150 that had seen better days.  It had sat in the back yard barely used anymore, but it still ran.  I won't say it that the truck was not very dependable, but I wouldn't have wanted to go more than fifty miles from home in it.  It was not very economical to drive either.  I guess it got fifty gallons per mile.  Okay, I exaggerate, but I never left a gas station without having to pay at least fifty dollars.
            Believe me, I was not thrilled when I got the notice from the DMV that the registration renewal was due and I would have to get the truck smog checked.  They gave me sixty days, but of course I procrastinated until fifty days had passed and I decided that I'd better get it done so I wouldn't have to pay the fifty dollar penalty

            At the smog check station I was nervous that the truck might not pass the inspection and would require major repairs.  If that were the case I would have been just as well to roll the truck off a fifty foot cliff and forget about it.   But to my relief the truck passed.  I handed the smog inspection guy a fifty dollar bill and he handed me a penny.  My next stop would be the DMV.

           Going to the DMV would be high on my list of the top fifty places I hate to go.  I usually end up waiting at least fifty minutes whenever I have to go there.  When I arrived, there were maybe fifty people waiting to take a number.   I looked up at the digital counter to see which number was being served and noted that it read 750.

            From past experience I was aware that there was a number cycle that ended at 999 and then started over at one.   Since I estimated that there had been about fifty people ahead of me to pick up a number and from the looks of the waiting area there were maybe another fifty or so already there, I would probably be getting a number somewhere around 850.  That meant that this was going to take much longer than fifty minutes today.

           I could only hope that my estimation was wrong.  Please let my number be less than 850, I thought to myself.  When I reached the number dispenser I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and then took a number.  I opened my eyes and looked at the ticket in my hand--50.

                                            50 *  50 *  50 *  50 *  50 *  50

         Sign up for DiscConnected's SUPER 8 DEBUT ALBUMS BLOG HOP which happens on Monday February 28.  There's still time!   I'll even give you the Linky list to make it easy for you:


  1. LOL! Great stuff Lee. I give it 50 out of 50! :O)

  2. Loved the ending, poor guy. He's likely to be there for about 50 hours.

    Great short story :)

  3. Great post Lee, I also give you 50/50.

    Have a great week-end.

  4. Ah, happy 50th Birthday to the guy in the story!

  5. I loved all the references to 50, Lee. Really funny and clever. Poor guy though!

  6. That's a whole lot of fifties in there!

  7. Fifty thumbs up! A very fun fifty story!

  8. Madeleine -- Thanks for the high rating!

    Holly -- He should have brought a sleeping bag. Hope they have a snack bar at the DMV.

    Yvonne -- Thanks for your vote of approval as well.

    Dezmond -- Sounds like his worst birthday nightmare.

    Tizzy -- Hope I didn't overdo it with the 50s but I just got carried away with it. Had fun with the blogfest.

    Alex -- I tried to get 50 fifties in there, but it wouldn't have gotten too long.

    Lynn -- Thanks for the thumbs up from you and 24 other people.

  9. I'll give you my fifty cents worth. This was brilliant. Good try for as many 50's as possible. You included the number in some rather clever ways. Kudos!

  10. You definitely worked in a lot of 50's. DMV is an unfun place.

  11. wow loved this who knew 50 was so popular

  12. Very, very good. Well done. (Hope you win the journal, you deserve it).

    Popped over from the blogfest to see what creative post you cme up with and I say, bravo. Well played.

  13. Was that story true? I have a feeling some of it was! You are too funny Mr. Arlee!
    Love Di ♥

  14. Excellent use of the fifty there Mr Bird!

    You were right, I haven't been feeling too fabulous hence the lack of posting! But I am alive and well, and have my post up! Be sure to wander on by :)

    Lady A

  15. Lots of Blogfests out there lately. I try to keep up but its been crazy busy lately. The good news is I'm getting the posts pre-written for the A to Z Challenge. Have a great weekend!

  16. Those are a lot of 50s! Great blogfest entry.

  17. BOID ~
    Wasn't the theme of this blogfest supposed to be the number 50? If so, your entry seems to have failed because I didn't catch the number 50 anywhere in your post.

    Try it again, McBuddy, and get it right!
    REMEMBER: You're supposed to use the number 50 somewhere.

    Sheesh! I'll give 50 to 1 odds that you screw it up AGAIN!

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

  18. Melissa --- Couldn't I have gotten a dollar's worth instead?

    M Pax -- DMV is not a place I like to go.

    Becca -- I love 50, especially if it's followed by a bunch of zeros.

    Angela -- Thanks for the vote.

    Diana -- It was true in very remote ways--I never married a woman who was that much younger than I.

    Lady A -- I stopped by and you did commendably.

    Stephen -- I'll need to cut back on my blogfests, but I felt compelled to do this one for Tizzy. I've also been working on my A to Z posts.

    Golden -- Maybe I went overboard but I wanted to get that fifties theme in there.

    Talli -- Thanks!

    StMc -- Yeah, 50 kind of stumped me. Come back next week to see if I do any better in the Cool 3,084,085,943,656,153,002 Blogfest.

    Nahno -- I think a few guys may have gone thru similar ordeals. Thanks.

  19. Hi! New follower, newish blogger, fumbling/stumbling through computer stuff as well. Taken a deep breath and decided to try the A-Z Challenge. Even if it's a epic failure, at least I'm finding a lot of cool blogs and great people!

  20. Jemi - It's been kinda fun. Wasn't doing anything else today so why not?

    Li-- Welcome to my site and to blogging. I sure you won't have an "epic failure" on your hands. Just trying it is a success.

  21. Super fun, Lee! A definite 50 out of 50! Happy Birthday to that poor guy!

    Thanks for stopping by, Lee. Mine's just a story I thought up while loading the dishwasher; 150% sure it's not a novel!

  22. Great fifty's blog post. Now following,would love a follow back if you'd like.

  23. What an imaginative entry, Lee. I'll bet it took all of 50 minutes. Love the truck selection, since I own one :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  24. LOL. What a great entry. I'd have to give 50 out 50 too!

    Thank you for visiting my blog yesterday.

  25. Very nice short story. Loved it.

  26. A $50 special for a divorce? Some things should probably never go on sale, I suppose.

  27. Wow! That was sad, comical, and more than likely, true for somebody somewhere! Great job :)

  28. Great story! Love how you fit 50 in there so many times.

  29. lol, great use of many 50s and a fun story too :)

  30. I liked that story. It sounded like a country song.

  31. Loved your story! I just became a follower so I'm looking forward to looking back at your other blogs!

    thinking of doing the A to Z thing!

    Unloading my brain to fill it again


Go ahead and say something. Don't be afraid to speak your mind.
I normally try to respond to all comments in the comment section so please remember to check the "Email follow-up comments" box if you want to participate in the comment conversation.

For Battle of the Bands voting the "Anonymous" commenting option has been made available though this version is the least preferred. If voting using "anonymous" please include in your comment your name (first only is okay) and city you are voting from and the reason you chose the artist you did.

If you know me and want to comment but don't want to do it here, then you can send me an email @ jacksonlee51 at aol dot com.