A Thank You to All of My Teachers ( #IWSG )

      There have been some things in my life that I didn't want to do that I'm glad that I was essentially forced to do.  Other things that I was expected to do, I was not so happy about doing....

The Insecure Writer's Support Group

Join us on the first Wednesday of each month in Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group--a forum of writers who gather to talk about writing and the writer's life. For a complete list of participants visit Alex's Blog. 
     The co-hosts for the September 4 posting of the IWSG are Beth Camp, Jean Davis, Yvonne Ventresca, and PJ Colando.

September 4 question - Since it's back to school time, let's talk English class. What's a writing rule you learned in school that messed you up as a writer?

       Thanks to my education in the public school system, I can write reasonably well. In my post elementary school years, I had mostly decent English teachers as well as a few that were outstanding.  The teachers that laid the groundwork for those higher education years did a fine job of helping me enjoy writing and doing it with some semblance of skill.  So, I cannot think of any writing rules that I learned that were detrimental to me.  

      I must be getting pretty complacent in my sunset years.  That's okay.

   

       

       

#IWSG & Battle of the Bands: It's My Life

           Another month, another edition of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, the monthly event sponsored by the blogging master Alex J. Cavanaugh.   Click on the link to find out more.  Also, I'm combining this post with my bi-monthly Battle of the Bands post--more on that later,  First, my insecurity for this month

It's My Life--Kind of Maybe

       This week I'm on call for jury duty.  It's the second time this year since I didn't get put on a jury the first time around.   Jury duty is something that I can no longer get out of even though I don't really want to participate, but if I don't then I risk getting in trouble with the law.  Whose life is it anyway?

      The government puts certain restrictions on what I can do and can't do.  When I was working, my job put a lot of limitations on my life.  I accepted that because I liked getting a paycheck.  Even now if the right job came my way I'd be willing to give up part of my personal life to merge it with a work life.

         Our lives are filled with compromises, cooperative efforts, and trade-offs.   We have the things we need to do, want to do, kind of have to do in accordance with societal expectations, or feel an obligation to do within the context of those around us.   We are not isolated beings who operate totally on our own, but we are codependent in a social sense even if not so in the dysfunctional psychological definition of the term.

         What I'm trying to say is that much of my messed up writing ambitions are certainly my own fault.  I've got a lot of control over my time and what I do with it.  Still there are family and personal obligations that I must attend to sometimes.  There are chores and life duties that must be looked after.  I give some time to church and community.

           Time is limited therefore I must take better control of it.  But there's always something to distract me from writing.  I admire all of you who are cranking out books and stories and other writings on top of doing whatever else it is you do. 

            Yeah, it's my life and I've got a lot of choices.   Getting things done takes commitment, focus, and structure.   But it seems like a lot of people want a piece of me.   I feel like Janis Joplin when she sings, "Take another little piece of my heart".   That's life I guess.  My life, but not totally.

Battle of the Bands:  It's My Life

      And now Battle of the Bands, the epic event where music loving bloggers offer up two different versions of one song for you to vote on your favorite one.   This popular event which has been ongoing for over a year now was founded by Stephen T McCarthy and Faraway Eyes.   After you vote on my pairing, please visit their posts and vote on theirs.   More possible participants will be listed at the end of this post.

Talk Talk "It's My Life" (1984)

          I was not a big fan of Talk Talk when I first heard them.   They seemed kind of weird to me.  The music was somewhat morose, brooding and introspective.  I bought a couple of their cassettes out of curiosity knowing virtually nothing about their music.  With repeated listenings their music grew on me until now I like them quite well.   "It's My Life" is one of their songs that is a favorite of mine.

No Doubt "It's My Life"  (2003)

        Gwen Stefani puts a more sultry touch to the vocals and the synthpop sound of Talk Talk is not as prevalent.  There is more energy to this version though it stays relatively close to the original in the arrangement.   No doubt that No Doubt's version is a different take on the original recording by Talk Talk.







Time to Vote!

           Which do you prefer?   I hope you'll vote, but it's your life and you can do as you like in regards to voting in this Battle of the Bands post.   But please take time to vote in the comment section and tell us why you prefer the one you chose.  Then after you've finished here, please visit the other blogs listed below who may or may not be participating this time around.   And if you've put up your own BOTB contest let us know that as well so we can vote on yours.


‘FAR AWAY SERIES’ 

 StMcC Presents Battle of the Bands

 ‘YOUR DAILY DOSE’ 

 ‘DISCCONNECTED’ 

 ‘CREATIVE OUTLET OF STRATPLAYER’ 

 'MIKE'S RAMBLINGS'

'Curious as a Cathy'

Sound of One Hand Typing

 Alex J. Cavanaugh

           The results of my Battle will be announced on Wednesday October 8th.  I might even post something else at that time.  I'll see what's happening in my life and whether I have time to do a real post.

            Do you sometimes feel like you're being pulled in too many directions at once?   Are you in control of your life for the most part?    What is the biggest competition for your time and attention?

#IWSG: Ask Arlee: Getting Off a Plane in Flight

      Sometimes I get a bit insecure about how quickly time seems to pass.  Can you believe another summer is almost over and it's already August?   In addition to that, today is the first Wednesday in August and that means it's time for another Insecure Writer's Support Group post.   Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh for hosting #IWSG every month.  Be sure to visit his site for more information.

Ask Arlee: 
 How do I get off when I've already started?

        Periodically I present my Ask Arlee feature in which I answer questions submitted by readers.   If you have a question you'd like me to explore, please include it in the comments and I'll try to take a stab at it in some future Ask Arlee post.  

         Today's question comes from Gregg Metcalf who asks:

The problem I would like solved is how do I get off a non-stop flight?

February 25, 2013 

        Now, of course, I realize that Gregg was just jesting a bit, but he does raise an interesting question with #IWSG implications.  Maybe I'm finding metaphorical meaning wherever I can, but that's part of what writing is all about isn't it?

         Once you're on the plane there's no getting off.  The airlines are not in the habit of handing out parachutes to disgruntled passengers.   However if you're in the middle of a novel and decide you want to bail out then that's doable.  Would you want to though?   If you've conjured the dream and started putting the effort to put that dream into written form, it can be difficult to leave the work behind.  Then again, if you no longer believe in what you're doing, maybe jumping ship is the right thing to do before you keep investing in a sinking vessel.

          I have several works that I've put on hold for one reason or another.  I'm not quite ready to bail on any of them, but I can't bring myself to finish either.  Yeah, I know a lot of solutions, the main one being "just do it!", but--well, I don't know.  Excuses, excuses--and none of them really very good.

          When I set out on my current vacation I had travel options open to me, one being travel by air.  I didn't like that option because it's too darn confining and rigid.  A road trip gives me flexibility and lets me travel at my own pace.  I don't have to worry about getting off of the non-stop flight because I can stop all that I like.  And I can combine multiple trips with different endpoints.   Roadtripping is fun because it provides more freedom.

           The bottom line is that writing is like taking a road trip.   You follow the journey for as long as you like and map the route out as whim takes you.  Sure there are always some confining factors to consider, but if you're the driver (or the trip planner) you are limited by your means and dreams.

          My writing dream is infinite, but eventually I'm going to have to take one of my projects home.  Wandering in the desert for forty years like the Israelites looking for the Promised Land seems to be part of my nature.  But I know it's time to go home.

           Now to figure out which home to go to and how I'm going to get there.  

          

         Battle of the Bands

        My previous Battle of the Bands results will be posted this Friday August 8th.   If you haven't voted yet you can do so until Thursday (August 7th) afternoon.   Please visit my Battle between two versions of an ethereal jazz tune.  To vote on this click here.

          Do you have a problem finishing projects?  Do you tend to have more than one project going at the same time?   When traveling do you prefer flying or driving?    Why?

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#iwsg: Shorts for the Summer?

       Once again it's time to share and support one another as we examine those writerly insecurities and doubts in which we all have occasion to dwell now and then.  Alex J Cavanaugh is the captain of this ship.  Let us set sail on another cruise of the Insecure Writer's Support Group.

Breaking Out the Shorts for Summer

        I have an inclination toward writing in depth.  Some may call it wordiness.  I prefer to think of it as explaining things thoroughly.  But the hot days of summer are ahead.  There is fun to be had and traveling to do.   Maybe it's a good time to cool down on the longer blog posts and get short.

          I need to get hot with my writing and cool off the blogging.   Can it be done?    Karen Walker does it well at Following the Whispers.  I'll try to follow her example.

         That doesn't mean I'll be successful.  But I can try.   Sometimes.

          For me this could be difficult.

           Can you write effective short posts?    Does it kind of thrill you when you come to a blog where the post is short?   Have you visited Author Karen Walker's Following the Whispers? 

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Bringing Home the Bacon #atozchallenge #IWSG

            At Tossing It Out the Blogging from A to Z Challenge got off to a crazy start with a Battle of the Bands post.   If you missed that one then I hope you'll go to the previous post and vote for your favorite song.   But that was yesterday and  yesterday's gone.   Today we have another double dose of blog craziness.
 







              Since it's the first Wednesday of the month it's also the day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group post.   This blog group is the invention of A to Z Co-host Alex J. Cavanaugh.   Each month a ton of insecure writers join to talk about what's on their minds and provide support for one another.  You can find the rest of the list at Alex's site.   After you read the following post of course...



Bringing Home the Bacon

       Bacon is probably one of the most popular food substances in the U.S.   I can understand why.  I love bacon!

          These days this idiom "bringing home the bacon" refers to bringing in a paycheck or to be successful at something. Isn't that what we want to achieve from our marketing efforts.  Our success usually depends on our willingness to work at selling ourselves and then ultimately selling whatever it is we are trying to sell.

          It's a scary proposition for most of us.  We might have to meet people and talk about ourselves and our products.   We might have to step out of our comfort zones.  If you're a writer that might mean you have to stop writing and reading long enough to pound the pavement, make phone calls, or exert some marketing strategy.

         Bringing home the bacon ain't always pretty or easy, but it's a darn sight better than making the sausage.   And nobody wants to know what's in the sausage.

         Even if you've got a powerful PR machine behind you, there are some points in time when you have to get out on the marketing stage and do your act.  The elusive writer in seclusion may exist in some rare instances.  But most writers are going to be on their own and that probably includes you.

          Are you willing to work at promoting your products (your writing)?   Do you understand that selling books requires marketing effort exerted by somebody?   Do you like bacon?

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Ask Arlee: Shy commenters? --#IWSG #atozchallenge

          The Insecure Writer's Support Group has been a blogging institution for the past 100 years.  Well, maybe not that long, but it now seems like it's been around forever.  #IWSG as it is known in Twitter speak was started by Alex J. Cavanaugh.  For more information go to the official #IWSG site and that's also where you'll find a list of participants.

        My entry for this month once again features an "Ask Arlee" question:

Al Diaz said... What to do when you want to ask a question but you're too shy to do it?
February 25, 2013 

       I've gotta assume that the delightful Al Diaz from Dragon on a Mission is asking on behalf of shy bloggers and not himself, as this immensely talented and artistic blogger doesn't come across as shy to me.  His comments are insightful and outgoing.  Of course, since I don't know Al in person, maybe he does consider himself a bit of an introvert.

        For those of you who are not familiar with my "Ask Arlee" feature, this is where I answer questions that the readers have presented to me.  Al's question was in my response to my initial call for questions.  He may have been joking, but actually his question opens a serious issue concerning blogging that is especially relevant as we approach the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge.  It's not just shyness in regard to asking questions, but more importantly a reticence that some may have in leaving comments.

Leave A Comment!

         The issue of blog comments has been brought up often on my blog, the A to Z Blog, and on many of your own blogs.   A certain element of shyness might play into someone visiting a blog and not leaving comments, but I think there are also other factors at play such as not knowing what to say, being in too much of a hurry, not wanting to offend a blogger if there is disagreement, or occasionally just plain rudeness.

         During April and always for that matter, if you take the time to visit a blog to read it, why not leave some kind of comment while there to let the blogger know that you were there.  If you're like me, you probably feel a bit insecure when you don't get any comments.  Most of us bloggers want to hear from somebody about what we took time to write.   Golden Blogging Rule:  Leave comments just as you hope visitors will comment on your own blog posts.     I don't think many of us want to be just talking to ourselves or see our words drift without notice into silent cyberspace.

          When it comes to being online, shyness shouldn't have much to do with anything.  No one can see you or get in your face.  Commenting is a good way to practice stepping out in order to overcome fear of meeting strangers and expressing yourself in public.  If you're afraid of saying something stupid, put some thought into your comment before you enter it and then don't worry.  If you're already posting on a blog you risk "saying something stupid" all the time.  Sometimes what you think seems stupid may make a lot of sense to someone else and be just what they need to hear.  Then again, some people may think you did say something stupid.  It's just opinions and we don't all have to agree, but hopefully everyone will be nice in their disagreement.

Why Comment?

          Remember--Blogging is a medium of social interaction.  We want to tell something to others.  We want others to read what we say.  Most of us want to hear what others think about what we say.  Good social blogging is a conversation.    You probably don't listen to somebody when you meet them face to face and then just walk away without acknowledging what they said.  Same with blogging.  Read a blog post and try to say something pertaining to what you've read.  

          Also try to go beyond the "nice post" type of compliment.  Why was it a nice post?  What did the blogger say to which you could relate?   

         And please don't leave a comment that says nothing about what you've read and only invite them to visit your blog to become a follower.  To me that is the height of rudeness.  It's essentially saying "I don't really care about you, but I'm more important and you should care about me".    It's okay to let a blogger that you are visiting for the first time know you've become a follower of their blog and to invite them to visit your blog.   I leave a link in my signature because I find it more convenient when commenters on my blog leave a link directly to their site so I don't have to finagle my way through things like Google+ pages.  

The Positive Outcome of Leaving Comments

        There are no guarantees, but usually if you leave a comment on a site you will get a reciprocal visit from that blogger who will in turn leave a comment at your blog.   If you give, you will usually receive something in return.  Once again--social media.   This is an important concept to remember.  You want to encourage interaction with well written interesting posts, thought-stimulating topics, and questions that encourage answers.

          One goal of blogging is to make one's presence known to the cyberworld.  Another is to establish relationships with others in that world.  Leaving blog comments is one of the best ways to make new friends and build on those friendships.  This is one of the main goals in the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge as well as the Insecure Writer's Support Group.

          You want readers for your blog and so do the rest of us.   Don't be insecure due to your perceived shyness, fears, or whatever excuse you are using.  Leave comments when you visit blogs.  It doesn't have to take a lot of time or any big effort.  You'll be glad you did it.

          Are you ever shy about leaving comments?   As long as the ability to leave a comment is easy, why would you not leave a comment?   Have you found that commenting on other blogs has caused your own blog to receive more comments and gain more readers?   What advice would you offer about leaving comments?


       

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#IWSG: Don't Let Me Die Before I Get Old

       

          Don't feel insecure about your writing or your life.  Let the members of the #IWSG help.  "What?" you may say.  Read my post and leave a comment.   Then move on to read what others have offered on another Insecure Writer's Support Group day.  For the list visit Alex J Cavanaugh's blog.  


Don't Let Me Die Before I Get Old

           In the 60's British rock group The Who sang "I hope I die before I get old" in their iconic hit "My Generation".   The song's writer Pete Townshend and singer Roger Daltrey must be rethinking those lyrics now that they've gone way past thirty.  This sentiment was common in the generation who used to declare "Never trust anyone over 30".  Of course now those from that era who are still living are way past 30 and I would imagine most of them are treasuring their lives and hoping for at least a few more years.

         At times during my recent illness I would think about death and the things I still haven't accomplished in my life that I have hoped to do.  Haven't you sometimes felt so bad that you thought Death was coming to take you away or at least felt so sick that death thoughts began crossing your mind?   That's the state I was in for a while.  Somehow feeling like total crap can cause you to just want to give up in a way, yet knowing what you have in life and hating to have to give up, you want at least another week, year, or decade.

       Morbid you may say, but this was the sort of thinking that was crossing my mind now and then as I lay in my sickbed.  I've had a great life and I have no problem with that.  I recall when I was forty I mentioned to a friend that if I died then I would have felt like I had led a very full life.  That was twenty years ago and my life is even fuller and better now.   I'm still not ready to go yet, but sometimes the insecurities about my time on this Earth come to the surface of my thoughts.  I'm not ready to go yet.   I have too much to do.

         I know I need to focus on my writing.  I have so many ideas and stories to tell the world.   Sickness can be a big setback.   Many of you know this from your own experiences.  In the throes of illness I was plotting my pathway to completing my goals.  Later new goals come and more life roadblocks.  Life keeps on coming and we never know what's around that next curve.

         Maybe some of you remember the Bible story of King Hezekiah who prayed for more time to live and then he recovered from a severe illness to live another fruitful fifteen years.  For me fifteen years would be good.   Fifty years would be better if they were years of reasonable health and self-sufficiency.

          I used to always tell people that I was going to live to 156 years old.  I was much younger when I said that.   Youth is often the domain of foolish thinking.  Or maybe it's dreaming.  Nothing wrong with dreaming I say.   I've always been a dreamer.  That's something I hope I never lose, but it's also something I hope I always use.

            Do you ever contemplate your own death?   Have you known anyone who died before they could fulfill their dreams?   If you could stay in good health, how long would you like to live?

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#IWSG: Hallelujah! Get Inspired!

          Feeling insecure with your writing life?  Or your life in general?   Never fear for support is here!  First Wednesday of the month means time to lean on the broad shoulders of the Insecure Writers Support Group founded by our dear blogging buddy Alex J. Cavanaugh.   Be sure to stop over to the IWSG site for the list of participants and sign up to the list if you would like to join in with your own post.

Get Inspired!

2013 L.A. Oratorio Chorus and Orchestra (I'm in the center of the second row of vocalists--one of the few non-Asians in the group).

            There was a time when you couldn't get me to sing outside of my own locked bedroom or the shower.   I totally lacked confidence when it came to singing.  I was embarrassed.  Afraid.  Insecure about my singing voice?  Yes, completely so.   Three years ago on this blog I told the story in a post called "The Boy Who Refused to Sing".

           Now look at me, front and center of the bass section, performing excerpts of Handel's Messiah for the second year.  No longer insecure because I discovered my voice.  Not that I have a great voice, but I apparently do okay.   Upon asking someone afterwards if they could hear me singing, they said that they could not, which is a good thing in a choir as voices are supposed to blend with the others and not stand out.  Our director said that I had done a good job.  That boosted my confidence so that I might continue to sing in other events should they come my way.

          What it comes down to is just jumping in and doing something.   Wanting to do it and working at it to do it right.   The more we practiced, the more secure I was with singing the pieces we were slated to perform.  It's like writing.   Practice makes us better and working at it makes us more secure.

          Getting inspired is important as well.  The music of a work like The Messiah is so exhilarating and uplifting that it carries the singer to another level.  I wanted to raise my voice with others in glorification and praise.  Immersion in masterful art might be the fuel that we often need to help us rise another notch above the mundane as we try to achieve perfection or some semblance thereof.

          When you feel insecure about your abilities, listen to a great work of music, gaze upon a artistic masterpiece, or read some well-written literature.   Don't let that experience oppress you into believing you can never attain the levels that others have achieved, but instead let it fuel and fire your imagination to aspire to achieve your own level of greatness.

          Don't get tired, get inspired.  You can do great things if you just believe in yourself.  Encourage that belief by tapping into the great accomplishments of others.   Strengthen your confidence by using the inspiration found in realizing what great things others have done.   Even if you don't ever create a masterpiece that will live through the ages, you can at least strive to make each effort better than your last.

          Do you find writing inspiration in listening to any certain kinds of music?   Does reading great literature sometimes make you feel discouraged about your own writing abilities?     What provides you the most inspiration for writing?

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#IWSG: What's a Writer To Do About a Bad Review?

     

         The first Wednesday of the month means that it's time for the event that probably needs no introduction, but just in case this particular post goes viral I'll tell new readers what's going on.  Today's post is my offering to the Insecure Writer's Support Group where writers from many blog quarters provide mutual support for those who may be getting hindered in their writing lives by insecurities that accompany the profession or may just be a part of life period.  Started by Alex J. Cavanaugh, the IWSG is there for you  if you need us--and who doesn't need a shoulder to lean on now and then?  If you want to join then sign up at IWSG.

Ask Arlee: 

 How should I respond to someone who gives my book a negative review because they didn't understand what I was saying or doesn't agree with me?

         Actually nobody has asked me this but I did answer this question for a writer I was trying to help.  This writer had put up a short e-book at Amazon and during a Free promotion I decided to help him out by promoting his book on my blog.  While it was free I downloaded it so I could leave a review because as I'm sure most of us will agree, reviews are very helpful to have for your product.

        *** If you want to see the Amazon listing before continuing you can click here.   Take a look at the reviews and you will see two very short entries that don't say much and then you will find a review by one of my blog readers and you will find my review.   By the way, if you go to the review and feel that it is a helpful review then please click the "YES" button. ***

         To summarize for those who chose not to look at the Amazon listing, I gave what I thought was a very positive leaning four star review with an advisory that the story had a Christian bent to it.   My review was geared to assist potential purchasers in deciding if they would want to buy the book.  I described the book as it came across to me and gave my honest opinion about the book.

         In turn the author, not realizing who had left the review (since he knows me by my real name), responded to me at some length in the comment section below the review.  I think he came across as very defensive if not a bit reprimanding in response to the review I had left.  In his response he explained points that he thought I missed or just did not get.  He was civil in his response, but I felt it was not a wise decision on his part to do such a thing.

        To help educate him, I chastised him for having engaged with a reviewer and arguing the points of the review with his refutations.   I told him that this made him look unprofessional as an author and that if he argued his side with every reviewer who left a slightly bad review he could have quite an extensive battle ahead of him if he did get many reviews.  My response to him was polite, but I did let him know that in the future he needs to let the reviewers have their say without his intervention unless they were specifically asking him to say something.

        After that he did leave a word of thanks for my advice, but I thought he basically ran off with his tail between his legs at the end of our interchange.

         If an author is insecure about what readers are saying I don't think it's the author's place to fight with his critics.  That author should accept what has been said whether it be good or bad in the spirit of education so the advice can be considered and applied to future writing.  Not everybody is likely to like everything we write.  People have different tastes and different opinions and the author needs to realize that.  It is arrogant to believe that what you have written is irrefutable and beyond judgement by those you read your work.

        Do you think the author to whom I've referred was okay in trying to set his critic straight?    Did I give helpful advice to the author or should I have just let it go?    If you received a review that you did not agree with and it perturbed you, would you argue with a reviewer about it?    Do you feel that negative reviews are discouraging or do they encourage you to be a better writer?

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