In my previous post, Doris Plaster talked about the 50 word stories that were her submissions to the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge. I decided to try my hand at one of these. My story comes in at 80 words. Not bad for wordy me--it's not all that easy to do.
Too Young To Be That Old
When I went to visit my friend Steve, I was greeted by a line of elderly people in wheelchairs watching to see who was getting a visitor. It was sad to see. Sadder still was that Steve at only age 57 was confined to a bed, nearly blind, having lost both legs to diabetes. I didn't recognize him. He looked as old as the people who had greeted me. Saddest of all was that the following year Steve was dead.
On September 12th my special guest will be Damyanti from Daily (w)rite. Like Doris, Damyanti compiled her A to Z stories into a book which is now available. Please be sure to check out my guest post on Damyanti's blog.
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Friday, September 2, 2011
50 comments:
Go ahead and say something. Don't be afraid to speak your mind.
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Lee
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what a sad story :(( So many people die from diabetes, it's possible it is even more dangerous than cancer and similar illnesses
ReplyDeleteThat is really sad, Lee. And for so many, it's a preventable disease.
ReplyDeleteLee, I'm dumbfounded.
ReplyDeleteWow, that is sad. I do know that elderly greeting though and have to face it weekly.
ReplyDeleteJules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow
Lee,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing a story that must have been very difficult to write...
Take care,
Lisa
Nicely done. Sad, though.
ReplyDeleteDezmond -- As one who has been diagnosed as diabetes I'm thankful that I'm diagnosed and treated. I use drugs to treat it--my dietary habits are abysmal.
ReplyDeleteAlex -- As for me I know I should have exercised more in my life. I find sticking to a good diet and eating right is my biggest challenge.
Suze -- I was also stunned in my last visits to Steve.
Jules -- Nursing homes can be somewhat depressing. I would hate to feel that lonely.
Lisa FF -- I'm glad that I visited Steve when I did. He was never one of my best friends, but I saw how appreciative he was when I visited him. He was receiving very few visitors.
Lee
Donna -- Thank you for the kind words and the visit.
ReplyDeleteLee
Yes he was indeed too young. When I hear about people like him then I feel so embarressed that I complain about my type two diabetese.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your friend, brother. Nice try at 50 words!
ReplyDeleteIt's sad but a true fact that diabetes in rare circumstances can lead to an early death.
ReplyDeleteWell done on the 80 word post.
Yvonne.
The saddest thing I ever heard was said by my sweet mum-in-law about a month before she died:
ReplyDelete"In here [nursing home], when someone dies, everyone cries. They cry because it isn't them."
Arlee, I don't think we know just how much of a story we can squeeze into a few words until we try. Checked out your interview!
ReplyDeleteMunir -- I'm not sure what type of diabetes Steve had, but I do know that he led a life of self abuse and neglect so he was much to blame for his circumstance. But it is still sad.
ReplyDeleteGregg-- It's always said to hear a story like this.
Yvonne-- Thanks. If it isn't kept in check diabetes can lead to all sorts of complications including early death.
LD -- A chill passed through me when I read your comment. It's really a sad statement on the forgotten elderly.
Joy -- I'm not used to being so frugal with my words but I guess one would get better with practice.
Lee
Hi Lee .. pretty good at succinctness .. yes diabetes is extremely debilitating - and we don't know who's next .. also people age so differently - even if they're ill.
ReplyDeleteReally sorry to read about Steve .. and his family .. Good challenge for you - Doris is the Mistress of this art.
Cheers Hilary
So sad. :-(
ReplyDeleteMy youth group decided that we'd go visit our town's home for the elderly, just because of the people you mentioned, always waiting in line, but never getting visitors.
"Dezmond -- As one who has been diagnosed as diabetes I'm thankful that I'm diagnosed and treated. I use drugs to treat it--my dietary habits are abysmal."
ReplyDeletesorry to hear that, Lee. My father has it also, and my grandfather had it too. It is one of the most common illnesses here in Vojvodina, since people like to eat bad food and it has become both a genetic and a lifestyle disease :( As you said, the good thing is that it can be tamed down with proper diet and medications.
Such a touching story. It brought tears as I know young people like that.
ReplyDeleteA tragic sort of story, to which too many of us, I think, can relate....
ReplyDeleteAnd great title.
Hilary -- Doris does a great job of keeping the story at 50 words. I tried.
ReplyDeleteMisha -- I think it's great what you and your group did. The young need to do things like this more often just to know what could one day be in store for them. All of us who survive youth will eventually be old.
Dezmond -- You hit it right when you called diabetes a "lifestyle disease". It's one of the fastest growing health problems.
Mary -- I'm sure there are many young people like that. I don't know what was more heartbreaking though: my friend confined to his bed or all of the lonely old people waiting for someone, anyone to visit them.
Andrew -- Too bad we're mostly too busy to take the time to visit those lonely people. I know I'm guilty.
Lee
Such a sad story! Amazing that you were able to convey the emotion in only 80 words! I am someone who writes far too much to say nothing at all I could learn a thing or two from you!
ReplyDeleteFifty word stories remind me of Hemingway's six word story challenge. All are good tools for practicing word economy.
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend!
Hi, Lee! Just dropping by to say Hi! Hard to believe a year has passed!
ReplyDeleteI have two sisters and two nieces who are diabetic. They've always been toothpick thin. All got the disease when pregnant with first-borns. Docs thought the disease would go away, but it didn't. You've written so elegantly. Thank you!
That's so sad to hear.
ReplyDeleteThat's an awesome concept and your story is powerful. Wow, two A to Z-ers have published their stuff? That's amazing!
ReplyDeleteYour story is great. You should try Drabbles. They are 100 word stories and are really fun exercises.
ReplyDeleteHeart breaking and happens too often: diabetes. Excellent post, Arlee.
ReplyDeleteShae -- I too tend to be wordy--and I do like that--but I thought I'd experiment with this. The writers like Doris Plaster really have mastered this.
ReplyDeleteKaren -- The short shorts are good exercises to learn to be more concise.
Kittie -- Most of the diabetics I've known have tended to be overweight. In the diabetes class I took they said the diabetic never really goes away but can get controlled. Thank you for the compliment.
Donna -- My 80 words don't even begin to convey all of the other sad parts about this story.
Scarlett -- I'm so thrilled about the achievements of Doris and Damyanti.
Marjorie -- I've been wondering where you've been. I've seen some of the drabbles and have been very impressed.
Susan -- Heartbreaking indeed. Thanks for stopping by.
Lee
You're breaking my heart Arlee! Great mini story. Those are so hard for me. I guess I am a wordy writer too.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your friend.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad story. And the fact that you conveyed all of that in just 80 words is pretty amazing. Very well done. I hope Steve's family are doing well.
ReplyDeleteHard-hitting, especially since Steve is so young.
ReplyDeleteI'm visiting as a fellow campaigner. What an interesting blog! Great to "meet" you.
Nadine Galinsky Feldman
Hi-ya. Nice to meet you. I wandered over here from Karen's BBQ. (I brought steamed crabs and a chocolate rum cake.)
ReplyDeleteI didn't participate last year, because I was brand new to blogging, but hope to jump into your A-Z challenge next year. I met a lot of really cool people last year by following some of those blogs. (Egads, I hope the rules don't limit us to 50 words, because I do tend to rattle on!)
So sorry about your friend.
I have heard these kinds of stories so often, usually it is men who don't manage their diabetes and die young. My husband's brother was one, passing away in his 50's.
ReplyDeleteboy, life sure can suck sometimes!
ReplyDeletei am from your memoir writing group. stopping by to say a first hello and let you know i am now following you in google reader. I have been writing for about 10 months (just on my blog) and adore it! i am so surprised to have found an unexpected new hobby. professionally i am a visual artist but have always used text as inspiration. i am so excited to meet all you campaigners and get to know you and your writing.do stop by the flight platform as well. janexxxx
Hi Arlee, I am so incredibly sorry to hear of Steve's suffering and of the loss of your friend.
ReplyDeleteDeana -- I tend to be a fan of wordiness within reason.
ReplyDeleteCarol -- This isn't the entire story by any means.
Doralynn -- Thanks. Another sad part of the story is that Steve had no immediate family and few friends who took the time to see him.
Nadine -- Thank you for visiting and hope to see more of you.
Susan -- In A to Z you make your own rules about posting. I don't think I ever posted less than 100 words and usually more than 500.
KarenG-- I'm not sure what it is about men, but we don't like to be told what to do I guess, especially when it comes to eating.
Jane -- Good to meet you. I usually post memoir related things on Fridays so you picked a good day to stop by.
Christy -- The physical suffering may have been small compared to some of the other suffering he had to deal with. There is so much more to this story than can be simply conveyed in a few words.
Lee
Lee, I have to say your "try" turned out to be pretty damn good. Lot of emotion in a few words. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteIt was very sad but it was very kind of you to visit. Your 80 words post moved me.
ReplyDeleteYeah, reminds me of a woman I got to know at a seniors home. She had Alzheimer's and heart breaking to watch her mental health disappear over a series of months.
ReplyDeletefollowed u over from karen's bbq... brought whiskey and steak! enjoy! and great blog--following!
ReplyDeleteChuck -- Thank you!
ReplyDeleteOceangirl -- I hadn't seen Steve in a long time and when I heard about his circumstance I felt like it was the right thing to do.
DWei -- It is sad to see the deterioration of another person.
Jeremy - Thanks for stopping by today.
Lee
Sorry about your friend. A limit of fifty words, sure doesn't allow you to mince any of them.
ReplyDeleteI love microfiction. You might check out "blink-ink" magazine. They do 50 word stories and Jason Evan's Clarity of Night contest which is 250 words. Both very cool.
ReplyDeleteI wandered over from Karen's BBQ. Nice to meet you!
Hi Lee ~ looking forward to the 1st Campaign Challenge tomorrow !
ReplyDeletenice post
ReplyDelete80 words yet it does more than a 400 page Stephen King novel. Great stuff.
ReplyDeleteVery sad; I'm type 1; I know the struggle~ It is a terribly difficult disease. I'm sorry for your loss~
ReplyDeletePat -- 80 words was tough enough. I have to admire anyone who can tell a story in 50 words or less.
ReplyDeleteWendy -- Good to meet you as well. I'll be by to visit you.
Mish -- I'm dragging today and haven't checked out the first challenge.
Damon -- Thanks for stopping by.
Maurice -- Thanks, but I really need a lot more words to tell the entire story.
Ella -- Diabetes can present such serious problems. I'm type 2 and I hope I can keep it in check.
Lee
A sad, but short and powerful story. I'm sorry about your friend Lee.
ReplyDelete