Surprise, Surprise! (#IWSG)

       
           I think I'm a pretty good writer.   Some people have told me that before.  And I've told myself that before too.   I tend to trust what I tell myself more than what other people tell me.   But it's my world after all and who knows, I might be dreaming all of this and what anyone says is really an extension of my own mind...

The Insecure Writer's Suppport Group

Join us on the first Wednesday of each month in Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group--a forum of writers who gather to talk about writing and the writer's life. For a complete list of participants visit Alex's Blog. 

The co-hosts for the September posting of the IWSG are Tyrean Martinson,Tara Tyler, Raimey Gallant, and Beverly Stowe McClure!

Sept 6th question:

Have you ever surprised yourself with your writing? For example, by trying a new genre you didn't think you'd be comfortable in??

Surprising Myself    

        Tucked in my office closet is a box of writing going as far back as high school.  It seemed like I wrote a lot more back then than I do now.  There are short stories, poems, songs, and other miscellaneous scribblings.  On occasion I have looked into this trove of writing and read some of the work of younger days.   I'm impressed by much of that writing.

        Even looking back over some of my older posts on any of my blogs I feel a certain satisfaction with my writing.  It should come as no surprise that I think my writing is often pretty good since otherwise I wouldn't have written it.  I tend to like what I write and, to a degree, fall in love with my writing.          

        What has been lost over the years might amaze me even more than the writing samples I have on hand.  Thinking of written work that has been lost on old computers, writing that I've turned in as test essays, and other examples that are no longer in my possession for one reason or another, I seem to remember some of that writing as having been pretty good.  Too bad I can't get all of that writing back so I could reevaluate it.  Too bad...

        I am among my top ten favorite writers.  Yes, I know it sounds a bit egotistical, but why not.  Liking what I write gives me incentive to write more.  That attitude doesn't surprise me because I see great logic in thinking that way.   What surprises me is how damn good I can write!  (Yes, I keep telling myself that.)

          Delusional?  Perhaps.  But why not.   We all create our own fantasies about who we are--who we want to be.   And even who we've been.  The writer is the main character of the book that continues to be written.  If I am writing my own story then I want it to be good.  The best story that I've ever read.

           Are you aware of your own attempts to build yourself up?     Does insecurity blind you to your own abilities?    Where would you rank yourself in your list of favorite writers?

How Big Is Your Ego?

 Then President of the United States of America, George W. Bush invited then President-Elect Barack Obama and former Presidents George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and Jimmy Carter for a Meeting and Lunch at The White House. Photo taken Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009 in the Oval Office at The White House. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

       Summer's ego is flaring with a vengeance in the southwestern U.S.   Predictions are that we in Los Angeles will be seeing unusually high temperatures for the next ten days or so.   Forecasters are saying that places like Las Vegas and Phoenix will be seeing temps in the 120 degree range.  Not especially unique for those folks who live there, but damn hot any way you look at it.  And summer of 2016 has barely begun.  What does this bode for the upcoming months?

        One thing we in the U.S. are facing is a heated political climate with an idiosyncratic presidential race ahead of us.  The primaries were kindergarten stuff compared to what we might be seeing in the months ahead of us.  Divisiveness of the parties and the nation as a whole may set tempers flaring and nasty words flying.

        Plenty is said about the over-inflated ego of Donald Trump.  No denying that the guy has a super big ego.  What public figure doesn't?   Bill and Hillary Clinton both have such humongous egos that one can only wonder how they can stand each other's company.  The ego of Barack Obama shows an air of superiority that gives him a sense that he's talking down at us or lecturing us. Even the good out boy presidents like George W. Bush or Jimmy Carter are driven by ego otherwise they would have never made it as far as they did.

        An egoistic Fidel Castro fueled a revolution to overthrow one dictator's grandiosity to replace it with his own bloated self-image that expected total allegiance or else from the citizens of his nation.  Recently, the passing of Muhammad Ali reminded us of the swaggering young Cassius Clay who pronounced "I am the greatest" and charmed much of the public with his egotistical antics. By no means was I a fan of Ali, but I will admit I was amused by his early escapades before he changed his name and became what some feel was a traitor to his country.

       We are entitled to our opinions just as we have a right to brand ourselves in whatever way we wish.  Criticism can be expected when we put ourselves in the public eye, but when we attack another we are attacking ego and that is like going for the throat.  Backlash can be expected from some while hurt might be the outcome for others.   Even those with the most fragile egos will usually make some attempt to defend their pride, their image, and their sense of self-worth.   My opinions reflect my own ego and when someone attacks my opinion, they are attacking a certain part of who I am.

        Openness to discussing differences is a good thing as is amicable debate concerning why one party believes what they think is right.   If we are open to listening to each other rather than jumping to the conclusion that we have the right answer and nobody can come up with a reasonable counter argument, we might end up learning more about others as well as ourselves.  There are some points, especially those dealing with preference, where there is no right or wrong, but merely a difference of opinion.   If I were dictator of the world, it might be assuaging to my ego for a while, but eventually that world would likely get pretty boring if everyone else were forced to share every opinion that I have.

        This will be the last post in my "Love and Ego" series in the official sense, though this blog will always be some reflection of my own ego and a study of ego in general.  And love will always make appearances here, especially in the many more songs of love that I have in waiting for future Battle of the Bands blog posts.

         Love and ego are ever present with all of us.  Just as the heat that scorches us here in Los Angeles affects the moods and attitudes of those of us who have to deal with feeling the burn (I'm talking climate here), love and ego will shape the directions we take in our lives and influence the way we treat others.

         Between love and ego, do you think one force tends to overpower the other or do you feel there is a parity between the two?    Do you feel that your ego is strong or do you tend be a relatively acquiescent person?     Can you think of any politician without a strong ego?  If so, explain why you think this.

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Should the Ego of the Critic Influence Us?

"Why do I torture myself listening to music that I like."  Arlee Bird

 American film critic, David Denby,  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

       There's the adage that says:  "Those who can, do: those who can't, teach."   While in some cases this may be true, I know there are and have been a great many fine teachers who have done their jobs well.  I have had some of those teachers in my school years and seen others who are dedicated to a profession that requires great effort and skill to do well.

       The somewhat dubious claim made about teachers I think would apply to a greater extent to critics.  Critics seem to relish in dissecting and tearing apart that which they themselves cannot do.  Though I enjoy reading critical analyses of artistic works, I'm often in opposition with what they say, especially from the standpoint of music, film, and literature.  A critical essay can be enlightening, thought-provoking, and even entertaining, but all too often such a study is some attempt of pedantry in which the author is saying, "Look at me and how knowledgeable I am about my own opinion!"

       Let's face it--critical analysis is almost exclusively opinion based.  There are few (if any) factual evidences that can prove that a work is great or terrible or mediocre or whatever might be that which a critic is trying to tell readers.  There are no university degrees in taste or preference.   The critic can cite what other proclaimed experts have said about something, but that is merely providing more opinion in order to bolster an argument about opinion.   If I happen to like something or someone else says they like something then our opinions have proven wrong the opinion of any opposing viewpoint that says that what we like is rubbish.  That is if we can say there is truly any right or wrong when it comes to taste and preference which I would argue there is not.

       The critic often comes across as pompous with a know-it-all attitude.  Some people are suckered in by this high and mighty attitude.   Rebel and skeptic that I typically tend to be, I won't cower to someone else's opinion when that opinion seems to be an attempt to negate my own.  However, I will listen to reasonable argument and perhaps reexamine my own point of view.  If I like something then little will change my mind other than something within me such as passing of time where I no longer have an interest in that which I formerly liked or a personal reevaluation that puts things in a different light for me.

        Any actual change of mind such as this in my own life is speculation at the moment as I can't think of many things that I formerly liked a great deal, but no longer like as much now.  Maybe it might be something like Spike Jones and His Orchestra, but I haven't listened to that group in many years--or at least not on a regular basis like I did when I was about ten years old or so.  I guess I'm not so much of a fanatic about the old Batman TV show from the 60's.   It's on in syndication on ME TV and I might watch a few minutes as I'm passing through the channels, but I never have stayed in recent times to watch an entire episode.   Not that the show is bad, but it just doesn't interest me like it did when I was in high school.

        I suppose I'd make a pretty lousy critic as I don't usually go overboard condemning most things unless I just happen to be in a bad mood at the moment.  In fact, I can usually find something good to say about most things.  There are times when I might play the critic role in an attempt to be funny, but so much of the time that kind of humor gets misinterpreted and people sometimes get upset.

        The critic's ego might sometimes annoy me and occasionally even anger me.   But I'd be better off to remind myself that sometimes those people need to go off on their rants to make the rest of the world aware of their presumed expertise in a subject.   If that presumed expertise goes against my opinion then I take it as a different way of seeing things and it's not based on the critic being better or smarter than I am.    And then I think to myself how sad and perhaps even ignorant that opposing view is.

          After all, an attack on what I like is almost like an attack on my ego.  In the final analysis, my ego is just important as the other person's and actually more so since I'm the one who has to live with my ego.  Should the ego of the critic influence me?   It partly depends on how the opinion is delivered.  Maybe there is something reasonable to consider in the critic's arguments against what I like.   I doubt it, but that's my ego speaking.  Why should any of us change our taste in what we like because someone else says it's "bad" or "lacking in talent" or whatever the reason that is offered?

          Our likes and dislikes are what makes each of us who we are and no critic with an overblown ego should discourage us.   And same thing applies to me as applies to you.

           Do you enjoy hearing what critics have to say?   How often do you find yourself disagreeing with critical essays?   Is it possible for a critic set aside ego in order to give a completely unbiased review or do preconceived notions and other interfering ideas taint the process of honest reviewing?




     

Love and Ego (#IWSG)

      Voting is still open on my Battle of the Bands post.  If you have not visited yet to vote for your favorite recording please visit this post and let your preference be known.  The song that I've used ties in with today's post as well as my Reflections Post yet to come.



Insecure Writer's Support Group


       Join us on the first Wednesday of each month in Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group--a forum of writers who gather to talk about writing and the writer's life. For a complete list of participants visit Alex's Blog. 





Now What?

       Leon Russell's song "Manhattan Island Serenade" provides a good analogy to how I feel  after an A to Z Challenge has ended.  The narrator of the song talks about being broke down stuck along the roadside and thinking of recent loss.  He reflects on where he's been and where he's going next. It's kind of the same way I feel and what I've read some of the other A to Z participants say they feel about the end of the Challenge.  But it's a temporary feeling like we get any time we've had a rush of fullness in life and then it's gone leaving us with only memories.

         But enough reflecting for now.  My official A to Z Reflections Post will appear on Tossing It Out coming on Monday May 9th.  For more information about the Reflections Post be sure to visit the A to Z Challenge Blog.   Today I want to consider some things ahead on my blog.


Love and Ego

        Most of you probably recall the story of Narcissus who gazed at his own reflection in the pool of water and fell in love with the image, which unobtainable to him eventually led to his demise.  Narcissism is an exhaustive topic that cannot be addressed in a single blog post, however I raise the topic as an introduction to things to come on Tossing It Out.  

         During the month of April I began to ponder the concepts of love and ego and all things connected with these concepts.  I meandered through many aspects of these things prompted by whatever I was absorbing in the media, on the internet, and all around me in general.  It was one of those weird moods perhaps, but it led me to a number of questions.

          Why do we write?  Why do we blog?  Why do we do the things we do or find ourselves attracted to certain people?   And in the end what does it all mean?   Just asking, you know--just asking like most of us probably ask the universe at times.  

           And specifically in regard to our writing and blogging, why do we choose the stories we tell and topics we explore and how do we make these things relevant to others?   Sounds whimsical perhaps, and it is.  But why not?   Why not ask what, how, and why?  Besides summer is coming and that's a time that I've always associated with daydreaming and thinking down the rabbit hole.  Lazy days and crazy days.   Vacations and recreations.  Much of my recreation consists of thinking so that's what I plan to do even though thinking seems to be what I do much of the time anyway.

          After all summer is coming and with summer while I physically wander the country, my mind will be wondering about many things.   This is always the case it seems.  If we aren't questioning, then we must be lacking in awareness.   Not thinking is not being alive.

         Maybe it's silly to ask the age old question "What is the meaning of life?"   But then, why not ask the question?   In asking we might find an answer.  Or more likely we might give rise to more questions.  Sometimes the questions never stop just as much of the time the answers never come.

          In any case, my theme in every post on Tossing It Out including my Battle of the Bands posts from now until I decide to stop will be "Love and Ego".   Call me obsessed if you like.  But then maybe Love and Ego is ultimately the only theme any of us ever writes about when it comes right down to the crux of all things.  

          Do you ever ponder the mysteries of love and ego?   Do you consider your actions to be mostly driven by ego, love, both, or something else entirely?    Does the word "ego" have a negative connotation to you?

Educate Your Ego #atozchallenge

Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.
(Photo credit: symphony of love)

         When it comes to self-promoting, many of you start experiencing ego deflation.   A lack of self confidence and fear that you are not good enough can hamper your ability to sell yourself to others.  Maybe it's time for a self-evaluation.  Take inventory of what it is that you are offering others and then look deeper to see what else you might be missing.

          You have talents.  You have something to give others.  You are valuable in your uniqueness.  And now you have to convince yourself.   It's time to educate your ego.

           The concept of ego often is put in a bad light and for good reason.  An egocentric person can come across as very unlikeable and annoying.   You don't want to be that person.   You are important, but you also need to keep others in mind.

           Teach yourself to carry yourself with a air of confidence but not arrogance.  Paying attention to your appearance, mannerisms, and speech will make that good initial impression on others.  The way you behave and treat others after the first encounter will carry the relationship forward in a positive manner.

            Don't hide behind a mask of fakery, but be personable and approachable.  You may know more than others regarding your field of expertise, but that doesn't make you better than your market audience.   Maybe you  are smarter than others--perhaps brilliant--but condescension doesn't make you attractive to those whom you are addressing.   If you want to win others over to your side it's helpful to be at least somewhat nice.

           Learn by doing.  In your encounters with others gage reactions carefully to learn what gets a point across well and what doesn't.  Get feedback from others.  Ask those you trust how they think you've done in your communication efforts.

            Most of all, look at the end results of what you are doing.  Did you get the results you were hoping for?   If not why?   Be honest with your self-assessments.  Don't let yourself get in the way of what you are trying to do.

           Do you think you might have an inflated ego?    What draws you to another person?   Are there any particular sales techniques that you think are particularly effective?

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