Love at first sight is likely a improbability based more on dysfunction than any normal state of relational affairs. Part of the problem is due to language. The word "love" covers too much ground--describes too many feelings. All love is not equal and much that we call love is not really love at all. At least not love in its more idealistic spiritualistic form.
| A young woman and man embracing while outdoors.|
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Sometimes we think of love as a feeling, but actually the feelings are the product of that which we define as love. More appropriately love might be considered to be a state of mind, an attitude, that evolves through time, trials of the heart, and a patient acceptance between two disparate souls. Beyond this love can be many more things as infinite as there are lovers. Each case its own and often being shaped by forces from outside the relationship. Love entails sacrifice and sacrifice is an alien entity to an often fragile ego.
Oh, but it all feels so good--the first encounter, the fantasy, the first contact and first kiss and everything else that comes along the way in the early stages of a relationship. Maybe that's why some couples like fighting and then making up--it's like that feeling of new love all over again and then again. This might also call into question what those types of people are looking for the most--a specific person or the exhilaration of a new situation.
Serial monogamy is about the ego of the person bouncing from one relationship to the next. For that person commitment gets old, but that first entrance into a relationship is a rush like a powerful drug. New love might feel good for a while, but when the feeling wears off another rush is needed. The feeling of that crazy thing we so often call love can be an addiction. Not healthy for the mind and spirit, but some people can't help themselves. Real love requires work, devotion, and sacrifice.
Feelings can be great deceivers. There are so many songs about feelings--feelings connected with love or some concept called love. My upcoming song is about feelings. Some might be disturbed about my song choice, but it's a song that has had me hooked over the past month or so. Or some might be more disturbed by the original artist. Hopefully you will enjoy my song pick as much as I do, but I've made a few unpopular picks in the past and maybe this will be another one of those. I hope not.
Do you think the feeling of new love is a deceit that can misguide us in a relationship? What do you think is the most important part of a love relationship? Do you want to venture a guess as to my upcoming song choice?