Wednesday, June 27, 2012

A Wacky Guest Blogging Debut From Guest Hijacker Steve Bailey

             Nothing better than some hump day humor, which is what you're going to get on this installment of Hijack This Blog!.    My guest today is Steve Bailey who can normally found at From the Mind of a Mad Man.   Enjoy today's bit of zaniness from Steve and then hop on over to his blog if you want to sign up for more of the same.  It's a fun funny world....

And Now Take It Away Steve!

All right so this is my first guest blog....

Im not sure what to wear?


Maybe my keyboard armor?


Maybe not...
Ah whatever...
Now today I have a confession... er... post.
Its a story I feel I must share with you all.... 
A TRUE STORY!


You see last weekend....
 While making yet another creative breakfast....


The old severed hand breakfast...
...which is bloody delicious!!


Well... I got to some thinking..
 I decided I needed to get out and get some fresh air...
I needed to enjoy me some nature...
So I talked my girlfriend into joining me... 
On a short little hike..


Now first off... like any good "hikey"... 
 We had to get prepared for our "voluntary walking torture"... er... hike....


So I put on my hiking clothes...


And she put on her hiking boots.........


Which..... she would SO later regret...


(Bonus fact "People who hike regularly"- they also make ladies hiking sandals these days!!)


Which 9 out of 10 women reviewed as...
 "Ankle Shattering!" 


But anyways.... thats not what I wanted to talk about. 
This story isn't about shoes its about "the hike"....
And so... for us.. being the novice hikers we are...
We picked out a short little 5 mile loop to hike...
And we set out.... cranked up the tunes....


And car karaoked all the way to the forest.
Man we were feeling good!




But we would NEVER COMPLETE THAT LOOP!! 
More on that later.


Now at first the hike was fun....


We crossed streams... and hiked small hills...


And all was good...
We even met some very friendly fellow hikers who helped point us in the right direction....


But with the "pointer mother nature gave him?"




And so we hiked on.....
We.... even ran into a man stuck in some quicksand...




Who offered us booze... before he sank.
How nice was that!!
"Hiking rules!"... the couch potato in me said.


We were having so much fun....
I joked about coming back out here another weekend...


But in my bear costume...
I mean how great would that be!


We even talked about taking our hiking to the next level one day..


The over the edge level!


All was so good..
Hiking was stupid easy!!!


So we hiked on.....


And we crossed streams... and small hills...


And hiked on even more...


And we crossed streams... and small hills....




And it was less fun.


"Man shouldn't we be back by now" I thought to myself...
"Had I not seen this same stupid hill already" I thought?
And then it happened...


I realized we were lost.
You see I had been reading my girlfriends compass all day!


And it was dead wrong!!!
As it turns out we were now 8 miles in... 
And tired.... 
And lost...




Now... I knew what to do when lost in snow...
but not nicer weather???


My girlfriend now upset and tired... was done with this!
I needed a plan!
So I thought and I thought...
And then I had an extremely "tough" power bar...


This one?




And then I thought some more.....
And then it happened...
I came up with a plan....


You see we needed to turn around and....
 "Hike back some 8 miles" I told her.....


And explained to her with my fingers.


She responded to my plan .....


With hers....


So with nothing else to do... we turned around...
And walked...
And walked....
And walked....
And after seeing some rock formations that seemed to be only....




"Mocking us?"


We eventually made it back to the car.
Hallelujah!!!
We could finally go home...


However.... and sadly...




That was not to be.

You see it didn't start..
Apparently some car karaoke-er had left the radio on??




So we did what true hikers would do in this situation..




We walked home...
In what I now refer to as... "The long expletive hike home?"


Now I would like to tell you all a story of how we grew closer as we hiked home.... 
And that we now laugh about our adventure these few days later....


But I think that will have to wait....


Till her blisters subside?


Till then...
And from the dog house...
Blog ya'll later!


         Coming up on Friday is some very useful information about self-publishing from author Linda Hoye.  I am continuing to consider guest posts into September and beyond.    If interested leave a note in the comment section or click the Hijack This Blog! tab at the top of the page to sign up.


 The link for today's guest Steve Bailey is http://steve-bailey.blogspot.com/
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23 comments:

  1. Surely you meant Hike-jacker back up at the title.....

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  2. Sounds like you had fun hehe :)

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  3. A great read I thoroughly enjoyed also the pics.
    Sounds like fun.

    Yvonne.

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  4. That was such a fun read! Thanks for sharing this guest post Arlee :)

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  5. now, how could you not love friendly fellow hikers?
    Arlee, hope Steve didn't leave any crazy bugs in your cassa while visiting :)

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  6. That was SO THOROUGHLY entertaining. What a great blog, Steve. I envy your creativity. Great find, Lee!

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  7. Hilarious! Thanks for putting this together, Steve!

    Ana

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  8. Hey, the 'Picnic Table Overlook' was a great idea; just the perfect place to share bottles of wine with some friends.

    But I was surprised Arlee Bird let you get away with posting this: "The long expletive hike home?"

    Ordinarily, Arlee Bird doesn't allow profanity like "expletive" on his blog. He must really like you.

    An entertaining guest blog bit, Steve!

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  9. That picnic table lunch would just be scary, no thank you.

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  10. Those are the ugliest hiking boots I've ever seen!

    Thanks for the laugh. My favorite photo may have been the naked hiker. And I'd use the same finger pointing as her if someone made me go camping.

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  11. And that is why I don't like to hike!

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  12. steve is one of my most favourite bloggers... he makes it an art form

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  13. Oh my! Now I know that I'll never become a hiker. I'm directionally challenged.
    : )

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  14. LOVE Steve's blog. Always filled with this same unique brand of visual madness/storytelling.
    Nothing like a helpful hiker who can point you in the right direction without using his hands.
    I'll have to check out more of your (Arlee's) work. And as a ubiquitous guest poster, I'll definitely see if I can hijack.

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  15. It didn't look like a fun hike, but made for a great story!

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  16. Steve-- You were quite a hit today. Thanks for taking over for me for this post. It was fun.

    Thank you to all of you who left your comments for Steve.

    Lee

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  17. Sounds like a great day. Except for the naked hiker. Yeeeshhh!

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  18. Great guest Arlee. No wonder I stopped hiking.

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  19. Loved this.

    Might I suggest soaking those poor feet. :-)

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  20. Very funny, Steve! I particularly enjoyed the pictoral storytelling :)

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  21. Thanks again, Steve and everyone who stopped by. I say we go hiking this weekend.

    Lee

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  22. I'm thinking you might want to start out on a smaller trip. It takes work to figure out the supplies you need and how long it will take you to do a journey..... M friend Rick is doing the Appalachian Trail in 4 months. That is 2000 miles on foot in four months.... I did 30.5 miles last week and ended up at the doctor with an arthritis diagnosis.

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