Friday, June 8, 2012
My Very Funny Fantasy Fellini Joke
Federico Fellini and Marcello Mastroianni walk into a bar. "Two glasses of vino," says the famous Italian director to the bartender.
The barkeep serves the two glasses. "Eight and a half lira," he says.
Federico hands over a thousand lira bill and says, "Keepa the change." Leaning over to Marcello he says, "Thisa place izza cheap. It doesn't cost a fortunella to drink here."
Federico raises his glass for a toast. "To life--life is good."
"La dolce vita," says Marcello with a smile.
They sip their wine in a contemplative minute then Marcello says, "Have you heard fromma Nino lately?"
"Ah, yes, Nino Rota me the other day. Hearing from Nino is music to my ears. Right now he's at an orchestra rehearsal for a soundtrack for some silly little American movie about Italian gangsters." Fellini laughs. "You'd think we Italians are a bunch of clowns."
"It's a swindle. Gangsters! Why do the Americans always think Italians are gangsters?"
"I guessa we hava too much fun, eh, Marcello?" Fellini nudges his friend and winks. "One for the road," Fellini calls to the bartender, holding up his wine glass.
"And howsa life Federico?" Marcello says in a quiet voice.
"The usual circus. Always surrounded by clowns, midgets, and androgynous men with make-up and feather boas. And then of coursa the women witha big breasts."
"Oh, yes, you lika those women witha big breasts, eh Federico."
"And you don't, Marcello? says Fellini jokingly. "You lika all the women. You don't fool anyone. And all the women they love you back. You are such a Casanova. I thinka you'd like to live in a city of nothing but women--and you the only man."
"Sounds like another one of your dreams to me, Federico."
The men both have a lusty laugh.
Then Marcello turns to Fellini with a questioning expression. "Itsa kinda funny--here we are, here in Roma, both of us Italiano and we speaka de English. Why we speaka da English?"
Fellini shrugs and says, "No subtitles."
If you read my Wednesday post you have some idea where today's post is coming from. Did you understand the hidden jokes? I'm sure you didn't. Nobody watches Fellini movies except for me and maybe a few other weirdo cinephiles. Please tell me that somebody who read this got it. Okay, then how about this: Was the story kind of funny without knowing about the real life characters?