Fireman, Funeral Director, Fundraiser, Farmer, Friend ( #AtoZChallenge )

 

    

             Fireman was a dream job of many boys when I was young.  The reality of the job diverted most of us from making that career choice.  In places like Los Angeles where I live, the firefighters make pretty good money and have good benefits. Some of the guys I've known retired at 55 and had a nice life after that.  Might be a good career choice after all, but I don't think that I would have passed the physical requirements.  Maybe when I was younger, but certainly not now.

          Now I see myself more as a funeral director.  I wouldn't want to have to dress stiffly in a suit all the time and the environment seems rather creepy to me.  Dealing with death all day everyday would be like everyday real life except with an obsessive focus on death.  After my parents first got married in 1950, their first apartment was in a funeral home.  At least that's what they told me since I had not yet arrived into the world yet.  I guess the embryonic me was there at some point.  

         The dreaded job for me has been fundraiser.  I've done this a few times in my life mostly via telephone.  A few times I did very well, but mostly it was a very mentally oppressing job for me.  I'm not very good at asking for money.  And I don't like those people calling me and I'm sure you have an idea which people I'm talking about.

            My ultimate fantasy job would be a farmer.  It's a total fantasy since I don't know anything about farming other than watching those big tractors cruising though fields on a hot summer day while the driver sits in the comfort of an air-conditioned cabin with the music cranked up.  Well, that was always how I fantasized it.  But really, farmers are so important to us.  Farmers are like really good friends in my fantasy image.  And being a friend is one of the most important positions in life.  

         The absolute most important position I think I've held is that of father.  I hope my kids think I did okay.  They seem to be doing a good job at parenting themselves.  Maybe I had some influence.  As far as jobs go, father has been my favorite.

       Have you had any farming experience?   Did you ever have to resort to taking a telemarketing job?  Have you made your funeral arrangements yet--or even thought about it?

                                                                              

Eater, Elephant Trainer, Easter Bunny, Economist, Environmentalist, and Entertainer ( #AtoZChallenge )

 

          Eating is something I enjoy.  Getting paid to eat sounds like a dream job.  Well, that is, if I were getting paid to eat something I truly liked to eat and in that case getting the food for free would be enough.  When my kids were little I used to pay them sometimes to eat something they didn't want to try.  I'd offer them a quarter to try something and they would usually try it at least.  These days if I made the same offer to my grandkids they'd likely scoff at the idea. "A quarter is all you got to offer?"  I'm sure they'd pass on that one.  A dollar might get some attention, but I couldn't afford that for long.  Pay or no pay, give me the food and I'll at least try it.  But I'm sure no one is going to pay me to eat.

       Even if I were hungrier than I'd ever been, I could never eat an elephant.  I can recall hearing people saying this when they were extremely hungry, but it was a hyperbole used to counter the hyperbole of being so hungry one could eat a horse.  It's rather doubtful that I'd even consider eating a little bit of elephant meat.  I've always been fascinated by elephants, but not enough to eat their meat.  Nor would I want to be an elephant trainer.  Over the years while working on a few circuses, I've known some elephant trainers.  Seems like a huge investment in animals, trucks, equipment, and animal feed.  And it would be a lot of work.  I like to look at elephants, but I don't want to live with them and take care of them all the time.

        Easter Bunny might be a cushy job.  No, not the real Easter Bunny since we know that critter is not real.  I mean the costumed Easter Bunny like you see in shopping malls and the like.  What a nightmare!  Being confined in that furry costume and dealing with bratty kids all day sounds like a real nightmare to me.  I've had my share of wearing mascot costumes and having to maneuver with limited visibility.  Except the times when I wore a costume like this it was for brief periods on stage in a show.  I'd do my thing and then rush off stage to get the darn thing off so I could see and breathe and not be so hot.  No big furry costumes for me.  Well, unless the pay was extremely lucrative and I haven't been offered that yet.

        Economist might be more my speed.  That's a thinking man's job that probably entails a lot of deskwork.  These days I might be able to handle that, but I don't know how good I'd be at ascertaining the state of economies and the like.  And I do like the theorizing of environmentalists although I think a lot of their conclusions are a bit off base.  I'd likely be ejected from the community of environmentalists rather quickly if I were to enter that field of study.   

         Entertainer is my ultimate preferred career.  That's where I spent much of my working life and I'd actually go back to doing it again if the opportunity arose with the right financial terms to incentivize my taking the job.  I'm not sure I would want the same type schedule I used to have, but if things were made easier for me then I'd love to do another entertainment job.  Who knows?  It could happen I suppose...

        Any jobs under the letter "E" that sound interesting to you?  Have you ever worked in the guise of a mascot costumed character?  What do you think is the most pressing environment issue of our time?

      

        

         

Dishwasher, Driver, Deliveryman, Dreamer ( #AtoZChallenge )

 

       Dishwasher is one of those drudgeries that we often think of as a bottom level job.  Yet, one of my most memorable jobs was that of a dishwasher and it really wasn't a bad job at all.  Then again, it was a job I only held for a couple of weekends.  It was October of 1975 and the magic show that I had been working in was in a lull of a layover that found us staying in Terre Haute Indiana.  We didn't have any immediate bookings so I went to Manpower temp agency to find some job that would give me quick money to get me through the dry time.  What they offered was a weekend job washing dishes for the National Guard.  Apparently they were trying to encourage their members by hiring outside workers to do the grunt labor like dishwashing.  The pay was above the norm for that type of job and the hours were ideal for me.  The workplace conditions were outstanding and my coworkers were educated guys like me just looking for extra money.  It was a very nice job actually and we could fix our own breakfast and lunch when the meal rushes were over.  The best part for me was having access to all the milk that we wanted including chocolate milk.  As a chocolate milk fanatic at the time it was like my ultimate milk dream.  It's not a job I would want to do forever, but in those conditions it was not a bad dishwashing job at all.  

        Driving is one of my favorite things to do and fortunately for me many of my jobs involved a great deal of driving.  My favorite driving was when I was touring on shows and drove my van or occasionally a show truck.  That was long haul driving much of the time and I'd enjoy listening to music and enjoying the scenery.  However, I also had a job with an airport shuttle which I enjoyed.  My shift would start very early morning and I was usually off by early afternoon.  Those were some great hours despite having to wake up much earlier than most of my jobs.  I've also done a number of delivery jobs which I enjoyed a great deal.  That work was especially interesting in towns where I was staying temporarily because it gave me a fast track learning experience of unfamiliar territory.  It was like sightseeing with occasional delivery stops.  Delivery work has it perils.  Since my experience was typically in smaller towns I didn't have to deal with the types of things we've been seeing lately with Amazon drivers and such.   Dogs were a concern at times and  weird places could be a bit uncomfortable, but mostly the work wasn't too bad.   If I had pursued a career with some company like UPS or FedEx then I'd probably have a nice retirement right now, but that's not what I did and now I am where I am.

         My dream job would be to be a dreamer.  I find it annoying when certain political hacks refer to certain immigrants as "dreamers" and even pass laws referring to that term.  Heck, I used to call myself a "dreamer" before it became a political term for people who are dreaming about whatever handout they can get from our government.  All of us are dreamers.  We all have some kind of dream so no one group can claim that exclusive right.  I've dreamed in my life and I've actually lived my dream working jobs that I had only hoped to have when I was a kid.  I am a dreamer.  Now if I can only get paid just to dream and share my dreams with others.  Sounds like a true dream job to me.

       What work have you enjoyed that might be considered drudgery by some?   What is the worst work environment you can think of?    What is your biggest dream of a job you'd like to do or have done?