Haunted by the Past (#IWSG)

          Have you been feeling a bit insecure?   Do you have an inferiority complex?  Don't feel alone. Join us on the first Wednesday of each month in Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group--a forum of writers who gather to talk about writing and the writer's life. For a complete list of participants visit Alex's Blog.  Mingle with the group for reassurance as well as helpful information.

Haunted by my Past

         Some of my recent posts have been addressing the issues of being introverted and the past that lingers with us.  I have often been insecure in my life when I've faced having to put myself out in the public scrutiny.  At times painfully shy in my younger years, these feelings have been coming back to haunt me of late.   Not so much the shyness, but I do find myself withdrawing into myself, not wanting to leave home unless it's for some road trip.  Get me traveling and I do great, but if I don't have to go anywhere, believe me, I don't go much of anywhere.

         Then too, I've had a lot on my mind with personal situations.  I've been doing a lot of thinking and rethinking.   There's more uncertainty about where I'm going than any insecurity about where I am.  I hate to use that label of insecurity, but I guess in some aspects of my life it does apply.

         After much postponement, I finally installed a word program in my "new" computer and have been attempting to get back into the writing habit.  Not just blog writing, but other writing.  I chose not to do NANO again this year because I didn't want to force things.  And I've got some things happening in November that would be a big hindrance to the writing commitment that NANO requires.

         The writing is getting back into gear a bit and I hope I can rev it up and maintain that momentum.  But something is grappling with my head, vying for my attention.  Distractions are easy and many, but they always have been as such for me.   Like an addict I find myself falling back into old bad habits of uncertainty, doubt, and dare I say it--insecurity.  

          It's easy to fall back, but not always as easy to forge onward.  And yet onward is where we all go whether we like it or not.  The choice we have to make is where do we want to go in life?  And do we want to go kicking and screaming?

       Battle of the Bands

       If you've not yet visited and voted on my most recent Battle of the Bands I hope you will do so now by clicking on this link.   The song is related to the feelings I've expressed above.   You have until tomorrow evening (Thursday November 5th) to leave your vote.  The winner will be announced on Friday November 6th.   So far it's a pretty tight race.   

         What old habits do you sometimes find yourself slipping into?   How does fear hinder you?   When does fear energize you to keep on going forward?