Is It Passion or Obsession?

        My previous post hinted toward my song choice for my Battle of the Bands post that will be appearing tomorrow January 15th.   Once again I am using today's post for a topic not specifically about my song choice, but it alludes to the subject matter of the song.  No one guessed the song correctly on the previous post though there were some excellent suggestions made.  Maybe this post will lead you to making a correct guess.   And if you don't give a whit about my Battle of the Bands posts, it doesn't really matter because this post is not about that anyway.

 On a pedestal in Another Place (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

        When I first started Tossing It Out in late 2009 I became so excited about blogging that it became one of my main topics of conversation with anyone who might listen.  I began to research the topic of blogging and read everything I could find about it in order to become a better blogger.  My thoughts became focused on my blog most of my waking hours and sometimes even into sleep.

          There were probably those who thought my interest in blogging had become a somewhat annoying obsession.  Some supported me in helping me to grow my base of followers while others politely indulged me as I babbled incessantly about this or that aspect of social media.  After a few months I even had business cards printed so it would be easier for people to remember my blog address in order to read it later.   Few of those cards reaped new readers to my knowledge, but having them was helpful in some cases if for no other reason than to open up the conversation to the topic of blogging.

         It took me about a year and a half to temper my obsession to a point of more reasonably subdued passion.   These days I still maintain a strong interest in blogging, but I no longer see it as my big mission in life.  Now it is a tool for my platform, to use that common cliche of branding and marketing.   Blogging is fun for me, but I don't force it on anyone and only bring it up if the subject seems appropriate to introduce to a conversation.

         When I was younger I went through periods where I developed certain interests in which I invested time, thought, and money.   For example I had a passion for stamp collecting from about third grade until my early high school years.   Then there were the periods when I became very involved with model building or immersing myself in anything related to science fiction and monsters.   Like an artist who can be evaluated by his creative stages, my life has seen periods of interests, sometimes for prolonged periods and other times short-lived.

         My biggest material passion has been for music.  Once I started working in my late teens and had more money to spend, I began buying records albums on a regular basis.  This passion for music peaked in the 80's when I voraciously began to accumulate cassette tapes (that was the medium of choice at that time) until I was carrying hundreds of them in my van as I traveled about in my road show days.

        There have been many phases in my life when I have pursued interests with a fervency that might be called passion.  On the other hand, my pursuits might be more correctly considered as hobbies or interests.   I'm certainly no different than others in this respect.   If we don't have certain interests that define us to some extent then we can seem rather dimensionless and boring.

          In all of our lives we have each undoubtedly had best friends with whom we shared hours of time.  Many times those friendships can end in sweet--or sometimes bitter--parting as we move on in our lives.  We might be left with longings for their companionship and fond memories as life carries us onward into new relationships or life pursuits, but we often move on without those old friends.  This is just part of the progression of life--friends who become hazy happy memories as well as those friends with whom we might stay connected with for many years or even the rest of our lives.   It would be abnormal and uncomfortable  to obsess on a friend or acquaintance so most of us allow the space necessary to nurture the relationship or we quietly drift apart if that is the destiny of things.

          And then there is love in the sense of romance and long term bonds.  This is the love that leads to marriage and family for many of us.   We find that singular object of our affection with whom we want to share life in the deepest sense that lives can be shared.  The ideal societal goal is to find a monogamous partner with whom we can have children and build families.  This takes a strong commitment involving passion that falls short of stifling obsession of ownership yet an obsession to make the relationship work.   Things don't always turn out as planned, but most of us have that ideal to work toward.

          To love someone in a way that we idolize them in the purest sense, not in any bizarre obsessive way, should be a goal in committed relationships.   We should not burn with a possessive nature that stifles the other or desire to control another with some sense of ownership much like a stamp collector might long to possess a coveted stamp for his collection, but we should have a focus that makes that partner our one and only, the only shining star that we see in a celestial tapestry filled with stars.   If we walk into a roomful of people, our one true love is the one to whom our eyes are drawn with admiration and the deepest satisfaction in being a part of that person's life.  That is the ideal, though often not the reality.

         True love is the stuff of stories.  It's that irrational emotion that brings out the poet in many of us.  It can be fun, wonderful, and even scary. What we might define as love is the most scary when the obsession creeps within us creating the stalker mentality.   A criminal passion can make us do crazy things, but the pure beautiful passion that is true love brings us as close to heaven as any earthbound human can be.   I want a burning desire or yearning that transcends possessiveness or control and becomes more akin to personal sacrifice for the sake of love in a similar way that a believer might have toward God.  Not a replacement to loving God, but next in line to love for God.   The most reverent of feelings that two humans can have for one another.   This is a fine dream in my eyes and something for which to strive.

          When do you think a passionate love devolves into aberrant obsession?    Do you feel uncomfortable when someone admires you in the sense of placing you on a pedestal?    From the words above can you guess the BOTB song that will be appearing here tomorrow?

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And Now For the Sticky Topic I Meant to Talk about Last Week But Got Carried Away Complaining About Things I Probably Can't Do That Much About.....

      Did you think I was kidding last week?  I actually did get carried away in my post of last Tuesday and got off subject with a negative rant against government agencies.  In reality, I am pretty darn pleased with the United States Postal Service.   I think they do a great job of getting our mail to us in a timely manner (even if it is mostly junk mail) and it is one governmental agency that is run like a business for the most part.  They have quite an array of retail products available, my favorite being the stamps--most specifically the commerative stamps.

       In my adolecent and preteen years I was an avid stamp collector.  During the 50s and 60s we often heard about hobbies and having a hobby was highly encouraged for kids.  A number of hobbies were promoted in special sections of the variety stores of the day such as Ben Franklin, Woolworth's, and Kresge's--stores that were often referred to as "five and dime stores".  Even some of the larger department stores such as May Company would have a stamp counter much like one might see the jewelry or perfumes counters.  Shopping expeditions with my mother were always looked forward to as a time when I would be able to explore the world of stamps and if I were fortunate enough to have some spending money I might invest in my hobby.

       There were many options available to the novice stamp collector like me.  For prices ranging from ten cents to a couple of dollars or more, one could buy varying packets of stamps from different countries to fill the empty spaces in their stamp album.  If one wanted to be more adventurous, they might opt for a large stamp assortment that might guarentee many different stamps or even large assortments that were unsorted and might contain duplicates.  Some of these assortments were giant bags of stamps still on the paper backing of the envelopes from which they were torn.  An assortment of stamps could literally provide hours of entertainment as one sorted through them and mounted them in a stamp album.

        Stamp collecting was an education.  I learned a great deal about geography as I would memorize country names and look them up on a map; politics from the stamps that depicted world leaders and country flags and symbols; history in the depictions of events and famous people; arts, culture, sports, and the list goes on.  Depictions of everything can be found on postage stamps.  Some stamps were mundane and utilitarian in appearance, while others were beautiful or just outright interesting.

         A stamp collector can start a general collection of stamps from around the globe.  Or a collector might specialize in collecting stamps from just the United States or some specific country; topical themes such as sports, animals, transportation or any specific topic; or even oddly shaped stamps such as triangular, diamond-shaped, or round stamps--any topic or theme is fair game for a collector.  They can be mounted in albums, display cases, or frames --however a collector wishes to present their collection. 

        My stamp albums and organized files still remain in my closet.  I don't intend to get rid of the collection anytime soon and it is there for me to break out any time.  As far as I know, there are no longer stamp sections in variety stores.  Independent stamp stores are not as common as they once were.  I still see ads in magazines and Sunday newspaper coupon inserts presenting special  offers to stamp collectors who wish to pursue the hobby through mail order.

         The U.S. Post Office still promotes stamps as collectables.  Even though I would not call myself a very active stamp collector, at the post office I still sometimes purchase stamps that interest me to add to my collection.  Stamp collecting choices are now so vast that it might be difficult for a novice collector to know where to start collecting and what to do once you start.

           Stamp collecting is a wonderful hobby and I would highly encourage parents to help their children start a stamp collection.   It is the kind of hobby in which the entire family can participate and find enjoyment. Much like a board game or a jigsaw puzzle or other similar activities, the family can sit around the table exploring the world through postage stamps.

        Are there any stamp collectors out there?   Did you collect stamps as a child?  If you did and stopped, why did you stop?   What are some of the other hobbies of collecting in which you readers participate?

    

Halloween Crazies

       Halloween is liked, loved, hated, tolerated, and perhaps even ignored.  Many people participate in the event of Halloween each year.  For most of these participants only a few days or a few hours are put into preparing for Halloween and then all thought of the celebration is put aside until the following year. But then there are the Halloween Crazies.

         I use the term somewhat affectionately, although also with some amusement and even bewilderment.  In the sense of fervency, Halloween Crazies are probably not much different than certain sports enthusiasts,  antique hounds, religious fanatics, or anyone else who has a deep interest in a topic to the extent that the topic becomes a focal point of their lives.  The "Crazies" just happen to be fervent about all things spooky,  bewitching, or related to Halloween. For these followers, October 31 is a day that they may prepare for throughout the entire year.  Halloween is more than just a hobby, it's a lifestyle.

         When I added "Halloween" to my interests on my Blogger profile, I looked to see who else had the same interest.  There are 8,900 profiles who include Halloween as an interest.  Perusing the first several pages of profiles, one can see that many blogs are entirely focused on the topic of Halloween. Google "Halloween" and you will find websites devoted to the topic.  There are year-round publications that deal almost exclusively with Halloween.  For some people Halloween doesn't last for just a day, but it lasts all year.

          I'm not talking about the people who are in the Halloween business, although there are some of those that I might put in the Halloween Crazy catagory.  The business people are interested in making money and must keep abreast of the trends in order to stay relevant when it comes to marketing the event.  The Halloween Crazies are just passionate about all the accoutrements of that scary fall season and almost live in an alternate universe to which most of us could never relate.

         Many of the Crazies probably have regular jobs and others may work in less conventional settings, but they often have something about them that sets them apart from the world to which most people conform. They might go the Goth route.  You can often see them with hair dyed black, dark nail polish and make-up, and dark colored clothes --the men and women alike.  They might have tattoos with halloween or occult themes.  Or there is casual Crazy with T-shirts displaying Halloween slogans or images.  Check out their rides-- they more than likely have something identifying with Halloween on their cars or they may even be driving a hearse.  I once knew a guy who drove a hearse with a full size skeleton in the passenger seat.  I doubt whether it gave him any right to drive in the HOV lane on the freeway, but it sure got a lot of attention.

                When I was in the distribution business that was primarily related to Halloween products, I would often attend the Halloween trade shows that are held throughout the year.  Though initially geared toward the Halloween business community, the Halloween Crazies soon caught wind about these exhibitions and found ways to attend.  You could easily distinguish the Crazies from the legitimate business clientale.  This is not to say that the Crazies were all necessarily not legitimate buyers, but most of them just had a passion for the wares on display.  The Crazies would be "dressed for the occasion" complete with costumes, make-up, contact lenses, fangs or you name it.  Some of these folks were dressed quite elaborately and at times even better than some of the costumes the exhibitors were selling.

             The trade show producers have caught on to this.  Not to miss any market there are a number of public Halloween and Haunt shows throughout the year that welcome the enthusiasts and Crazies as well as the simply curious.  Some of the Crazies even follow the Halloween show circuit much like the fans of the Grateful Dead used to do, but the Halloween fans give a whole new meaning to the term "dead head".

            Overall, I don't know that there should be too much concern for the Halloween Crazies.  I think that most of them just have a hobby related to something that they like.  The extent of their interest is certainly not what I would have, but some of you and I certainly have some interests that others may find peculiar.  There may be some of these Crazies that we might be concerned about.  I know I met a few over the years that gave me the creeps or I just kind of wondered about, but it wasn't necessarily because of their fascination with Halloween-- I would have probably wondered about them no matter what. 

            It's good to have interests and hobbies.  Let face it not all of them are especially productive or even meaningful in the long run.  I guess it's just what we do to keep life interesting.  My thought on this is: Keep balance in your life.  It's good to learn about things and to have something that you do well or know a lot about. This is a part of who you are.  But it's also a good idea to keep your mind open to other things and to have other interests.  Don't get so weird that most other people just can't relate to you.

          That's just a thought that I'm tossing out to you.  Got anything for me?