Tossing It Out

Monday, September 9, 2013

Why I'd Like To Be A Zombie

Zombie Parade - DSC 0533 ep (Photo credit: Eric.Parker)

One of the runner-ups in my favorite film/story genre topics is zombies. They've gotten kind of grosser and more disgusting over the years, but the character motivation is essentially the same as it always has been. Zombies just want to survive in a quest for live humans to ingest--or more precisely brains. The brain thing has been a more recent afterthought of zombie history, but it's very effective.

Since some of us actually value our brains, that organ is the one we probably most want to retain. After all, losing our brains to be someone's dinner would leave us more than brain dead--we would be brainless. But come to think of it there are plenty of brainless people around already so maybe the zombies have already attacked.

Zombies want brains not for greater intelligence, but merely to continue existing. They are not alone in that respect. There are many who are content to just get by on a day to day basis. The undead are not the only ones who might be considered to be zombies. As Wikipedia says:

The term is often figuratively applied to describe a hypnotized person bereft of consciousness and self-awareness, yet ambulant and able to respond to surrounding stimuli.

That description can certainly get us off the hook for a lot of things for which we might be otherwise responsible. What an excuse--"I didn't know any better cause I'm a zombie".

Here are what I would see as some advantages to being a zombie:

No thinking--I could just watch mindless television shows and read dumb books and not really think about much of anything.
No worries--other than perhaps the next meal, but zombies don't think and worry implies thinking about something.
No opinions--no one would be upset about what I thought because I wouldn't thinking about anything.
No long annoying blog posts--since I wouldn't have opinions and wouldn't be thinking, my blog posts would be short and empty.
No talking--just grunts, growls, and weird guttural noises. No one would have to hear me talk about my opinions or thoughts because I wouldn't have any.
No losing--the candidates I voted for would always win.

I'd say there are more plusses to being a zombie, but I don't want to think about them. Maybe I'm starting to turn into a zombie already! How sublime--a life of empty-headed bliss lies ahead for me. Be prepared for a real change on this blog. For now I think I'll just stare glassy-eyed into space. Can somebody toss me a brain please?

Would you like to be a zombie? Why do you think zombies are so popular? Who's your favorite zombie?