"I Quit!" #IWSG (#BOTB results)

        For most of us, finishing a marathon is more important than winning the race.  For me this is only a metaphor of sorts.  In real life I probably couldn't even run a hundred feet, but I guess it would be possible for me to finish a marathon just by walking.  It might take a couple days, but I think I could finish a walking marathon.  Maybe.



Insecure Writer's Support Group

Join us on the first Wednesday of each month in Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group--a forum of writers who gather to talk about writing and the writer's life. For a complete list of participants visit Alex's Blog. 
   
The question for June is:

 Did you ever say “I quit”? If so, what happened to make you come back to writing?


            I never quite think in terms of quitting, but I might take a break.  At various times in my life I've just stopped doing something for a while.  Like writing for example. I've never completely stopped writing, but sometimes mostly reserved writing for mundane record keeping or notes to self.  

         For me, blogging has been a bit of writing salvation.  I've got so much other stuff that I intend to write, but find myself distracted by life.  But then, that's the way it's always been for me.   The nice thing is that I always have plenty to look forward to and every day is another adventure.  And now I can blog.  That's something at least.

Battle of the Bands Results

        Originally in my previous Battle I was thinking of using a version of "Begin the Beguine" by Artie Shaw, Tony Martin, or Ray Coniff.  My mother used to have a Ray Coniff album with that song on it so I heard it plenty.  She loved Ray Coniff and I enjoyed hearing his music too.  I haven't been able to find many of those recordings of Ray Coniff's older stuff from the fifties or sixties on YouTube, but then I haven't looked for them in a while.

        Then in my search for versions of the song I ran across Pete Townshend's rather surprising recording.  I knew that I had found my first competitor for Battle.  As I looked for a worthy competitor I came to Sheryl Crow's fine rendition.  That left me with my own voting dilemma.  Both versions are so different and so good that I could have voted either way.

       In my analysis Sheryl Crow's performance has everything I usually look for in a recording--slick arrangement, polished delivery, and intelligent instrumentation to back up well sung vocals.  This is my kind of music.

      On the other hand, Pete Townshend's recording was like sitting late in the evening with a small audience in an intimate setting with the famed Who guitarist serenading us with a private concert.  It's all a bit roughshod, but it's genuine.  And he stays with the original melody.  This is why my vote goes to Townshend.  It's real, honest, and I like hearing it.

      In the end though, Sheryl Crow delivers the most votes for a healthy win.  Her version left Townshend's in the dust right out of the starting gate.  I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised. But that's okay.  Sheryl's take is excellent.
     
Final Results

Pete Townshend     5

Sheryl Crow          18

Next Battle on Thursday June 15th

             There might be another post before the fifteenth of the month.  I'm taking summer as it comes and going wherever it takes me.

          Have you ever run a marathon?  What do you do when you lose interest in a project or a passion?   At what point do you realize that you can't go home again?

Compassion in A to Z? (Part 1 of 2)

The Complaints

     While we still have A to Z on our minds, with an apology to those who have been trying to get away from thinking about the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge, I wanted to address one of the more common complaints that has come up now and then regarding how some people see the Challenge and how it is handled by the A to Z Team.

         The issue I have in mind involves those who drop out of the April Challenge or those who cannot keep up.  This happens to a number of bloggers who enter the Challenge and when this has to be done they should not feel any shame, feelings of inadequacy or incompetence as a blogger, or anything else negative about themselves.   The intent of A to Z is not to humiliate or embarrass anyone, but merely to offer up a Challenge to bloggers who would like to test themselves in accepting this Challenge.

         My analogy is typically the running of a marathon.   Some people choose not to run in a marathon for reasons that should not fall under anyone's judgement.  You won't find me entering a marathon because for one thing I don't want to have a heart attack and for another I couldn't keep up even if my heart withstood the exertion.   Marathon running is not on my list of things I feel compelled to do and that's my business about which I feel no shame nor do I feel left out when marathon day comes to the Los Angeles area and it seems like most of the city is wrapped up in marathon activities.

         Same with A to Z--if you want to do it then go ahead and if you don't then don't and just don't make a big deal about any negatives of others doing it.  Compassion goes both ways.  No one should try to make you feel bad for not participating nor should you belittle the event and its participants if you choose not to be a part of it.

        However if you do say you're going to do the A to Z, you should make every effort to keep up as the Challenge calls for and to finish the event.   If you honestly can't then so be it, but to drop out and then try to disparage the Challenge is not right.  That's the same as trying to run a marathon and finding you can't keep going and then blaming the marathon for what you weren't able to do and then expressing your opinion that the marathon should go away because it makes some people feel bad.  If you can't do something then fine, but that doesn't mean others shouldn't do it and have to listen to negativity from others who don't like it.  Really now, the A to Z Challenge is not politics, but it's supposed to be fun.

       In fact, more than once I have heard some bloggers suggest that others have been quitting blogging because of the Challenge.  Some have suggested that bloggers have quit out of shame of not having been able to finish the Challenge, anger because the Challenge takes up all of April, or that A to Z has taken the fun out of blogging.   Are you kidding me?   I doubt that this is true, but if it is true for any bloggers then I think it is a statement on the bloggers who quit.  Their actions say nothing about A to Z.

       The concept of someone quitting blogging because some other bloggers like to participate in the A to Z Challenge is akin to me saying at Super Bowl time that because I don't like football and everyone seems to be wrapped up in the Super Bowl that it's taken away all enjoyment of life for me so now I'm going to crawl away into some darkened place because of my shame and humiliation and curl up and die.   No, it's not like that at all--I just do something else that I like to do while others watch the Super Bowl and talk about it endlessly before and afterwards.  Then later on life goes back to normal whatever normal life might mean.

Different Strokes or Do You Like Artichokes?

       What it all boils down to is that some people like some things and other people like other things and we should respect that.   You might blog about your dog, your job, your hobby, your ailments, or even your latest book and that's all well and fine.  If others are up to reading about your chosen topic that's okay while if others want to move on and read something else then that shouldn't be the end of anyone's world.  We should all be free to pursue our interests just so those interests don't actually interfere with anyone else's happiness.   And if you feel that someone else's interests are interfering with your own happiness then you might want to examine more closely to see how it is interfering, why you think it is interfering, and rationally assess if there is any actual interference or if you are perceiving things in an irrational manner.

        If a crowd is smiling and having fun because of some positive event then you too should be happy for them.  If you aren't feeling this and feeling somewhat alone then it's not because they have left you out, but you have rejected them and decided to alienate yourself from their positive atmosphere.   If this is what is happening then don't try to find what is bad about what others enjoy, but try to understand who you are and how your needs can be fulfilled without expecting others to make you happy.

         We are each in charge of our own happiness.

        In part two I will address the issue of compassion as it applies to the A to Z Team and participants.   And before anyone thinks that these posts are only A to Z Challenge related, let me reiterate what I've said on other occasions:  I see A to Z as a microcosmic activity that exemplifies life in general--how we approach A to Z and how we respond to it is reflected in our everyday behavior in work and personal life.   My hopes are that what I am saying in these posts will be seen as having a broader application than just in the A to Z Challenge.

       In general do you see the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge as being more of a positive or a negative thing?    Did you finish the 2015 Challenge or any past Challenge?    Did you ever start a Challenge (not necessarily A to Z) and have to drop out before it ended?   Either in finishing or quitting, how did you feel about about your performance in a Challenge and the outcome of what you did?

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Ask Arlee: How Do I Know When It's Time to Stop?

Persistence (Photo credit: Vanessa Pike-Russell)

 The Dilemma of a Dream

        How often have you become so frustrated, tired, or bored with something you've been working at that you just want to give up and walk away?  

         I'm sure this has happened to many of you more than once.  The dream could be something that's gotten you fired up like a business idea, an endeavor you've poured your creativity into like a novel, or a  course of action like an educational pursuit.   For a while it's the thing that is the passion that consumes your being and then one day you stop and wonder if you're chasing fairy tales and trying to catch moonbeams.  Have you ever been riding on the wind and then one day find yourself blown into a corner that seems to be a dead end?

Ask Arlee:

         This may be the question Jeremy from  Being Retro (among other places).  Then again knowing Jeremy the question might just be a fun rhetorical question.  But of course knowing me I'm going to take it all serious and not only answer the question, but also I'm going to add clues to my Battle of the Band song pick for this coming Friday.  Have you caught any of the clues so far?

Jeremy [Retro-Z] said...

how to know when it's time to stop?

         Yeah, that's what he said--or asked.  Or whatever he did.  

         And my thought is this:  Even if you're walking with your head in the clouds, a dream still has validity.  If today things aren't working the way you were hoping, stop and reassess your goals.  What is it that you really want to achieve?   Have you been going about it the right way?   Maybe you need to refocus.  Or maybe just put things on hold for a while.  

         A worthy dream is not an elusive butterfly that takes wing to fly away when you lose hope.  Even good strong powerful dreams can lose momentum, but that doesn't mean they need to stop totally.  Reevaluate your progress along the road to your destination.  Park that dream car in the garage if need be and drive a different car for a while.  You can go back to the first car when you're ready for that one.

          Whether you end up on a stage before thousands burning a wild guitar with a famous rock band or in a quiet country pub playing Irish fiddle tunes, remember that it's not so much the magnitude of the dream you achieve as it is having achieved the dream in a way in which you can feel a sense of satisfaction.

           Your dream may not be a shining star exploding in the heavens, but a twinkle of hope on the horizon that you must patiently aim for in a slow trek forward.  Don't forget those who would be happy for you to reach your dream even if they don't know what that dream is.  There are a thousand smiles and nods of encouragement waiting to propel you forward.  You may not see them or know who they are, but I believe that there are many who want us all to succeed in what we dream.

         Yeah, take wing and fly to your dream destination.  Sometimes you may have to wait, change course, or sleep on it.  But don't stop.  Not completely.  Don't let a good dream die.  

         Have you ever given up on a dream and regretted it?   Did you ever persist at a dream that seemed to be dying to see it eventually revive and succeed?    What is the dream that you would most like to see come to fruition?    Can you guess what song I will be competing in Friday's Battle of the Bands post?

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Quitting Quitting

           Do you think of yourself as a quitter?  Do you sometimes throw up your hands with a flourish and announce to the world that you're going to give up?  Or is your method a silent slinking off to leave one thing behind  to start another?   Then again you might be one of those people who are determined to finish something "even if it kills you".

            Sometimes quitting is good.   I quit smoking--twice!  If I quit once and then started a second time does it really mean that I ever quit?   The first time I "quit" smoking I went for about eight years without a cigarette.  Then I went back to a heavy smoking habit for another seven years before I quit for the second time.  That was thirteen years ago.  I don't think I'll ever start smoking again but perhaps I should say "never say never".  Perhaps I am merely on another smoking hiatus, but I'd like to think that I've quit forever.

            That's a good kind of quitting, but what about the kind of quitting we regret later?   People quit for different reasons--time, money, health, frustration,  and other factors can enter into the picture.  There are solutions for everything, but sometimes they just don't seem worth the hassle when we are faced with making a decision.  Before we quit anything we should decide whether or not we will regret it later,  and if so what are the alternatives to quitting entirely.

             I don't want to be a quitter when it comes to things for which I am passionate.  I don't want to quit doing what I know deep down I should finish.  Giving up on something to which I have devoted much and just walking away with regret is a decision to have squandered what I have put into my previous efforts.  Seeing one's efforts to a satisfactory ending is good investing.   I want the payoff, even if it is not the one I originally expected.  Give me a return on my investment of time, effort, money, and passion and give it to me with interest earned and a satisfaction of a job seen through to completion.

            A quitter is not the label I want to be known by.  I am going to try my best to quit quitting when quitting is not in my or anyone else's best interest.  Quitting quitting is not always going to be easy and may not always be possible, but at least I can say I tried.





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