Friend, Father, Family Man ( #AtoZ )

         We play many roles throughout our lives--sometimes significant and other times seemingly trivial.  But it's all important, everything we do, because it all means something even if we don't realize what that meaning is...

Arlee Bird center with the black cap with family in Gatlinburg TN

           When I was a child my father was like a hero to me.  I even made up a song about him when I was about 4 or so.  I'd sing, "I'm Bob Jackson the movie star..." (his name was Bob Jackson).  I don't recall if there were any other lyrics--I guess I just repeated that line.  

            In my teens and early adult years I disagreed with my father often, but his core values were deeply instilled within me.   After having my own children I began to more greatly appreciate the responsibilities of fatherhood.  In my later thirties--perhaps a year or so before my father died--I thanked him for being the father that he had been and the example he had set for my own time at being a father.  He didn't say much in response, but I'm sure he had some kind of appreciation for my having said that.

            After my father died at age 67, I often thought of him as I continued my own fatherhood journey.  Even now, nearly thirty years after his departure from this Earth, my father's presence surrounds me.  These days when I look in the mirror I see my father.  In many ways I have become him, but I have also become my own unique person.

            Now with four children of my own who are on their own raising the next generation, I see myself in that same place I was 30 years ago.  My kids have thanked me for being a good father and teaching them how to deal with life as best as they could.  At this stage of life I am not just a father to my children, but a friend to some fine adults with interesting lives.  They are bringing up a new generation and attempting to give their children a life akin to what they remember having as kids.  The kind that I remember my parents giving to me.

           Years have passed as have both my mother and father.  A few of my friends I still keep in contact with to some extent.  They live far from me as do my brothers and sisters.  Isolated in L.A. is how I sometimes feel.  But that might be okay because a lone castaway dreams bigger sometimes.  My rescue boat may be on its way.

            My father never stopped dreaming--he always  had some big idea that he was sure that would be his next big life thing.  Years after I moved away from home my mother told me how they started going to comedy clubs and my father began to develop his own comedy act that he could perform in those clubs.   And he actually did it on a small scale.  A stunning success was probably part of his comedy dream, but just doing it was a success to a degree though he never became quite the star he might have fancied becoming.  He was having fun and he was pursuing a dream.

          I have no aspirations for comedic stardom, but I have other dreams that keep burning within me.  My father's drive is now compelling me.  I feel him encouraging me onward.  Something needs to happen and it will.  The question is:  What will that something be?   In some sense I know what the something might be and I'm working on it now  I am my father and I am my children's father.  I am who I am and only hope that others will accept me for who I am.

            I choose to be no one else but who I am.  This is me.

           Do you see something of your parents in who you've become?   Were your parents big dreamers or were they discontents?   Have you kept up with friends from younger days or have you mostly departed from them for some reason or another?

Happy 20th Anniversary!

December 13, 1997 

                 
              Twenty years ago on this date my lovely wife and I were married at Trinity Baptist Church in Downey California.   At that time we merged my family of three daughters with Betty and her daughter.  In those years we have watched our daughters grow into beautiful successful women who among them have given us six grandchildren to date.       

         It has been a great ride that has whizzed by far too quickly.  I look forward to many more years ahead  filled with travel, spending time with family, and just enjoying our time together.

        I love you Betty!  You have made my life special and especially beautiful.  I thank you for that and I thank God for bringing us together.



             

Same Time Next Year (#atozchallenge)

     When you no longer have to say "Let's do this again next year" and everybody concerned just expects something is going to happen at the same time, then a tradition has been established.  Keeping a tradition works unless everyone gets pissed off at each other and they stop doing it.  Well, that is with the exception of elections when everyone traditionally becomes pissed off at each other and they keep doing it anyway.






Same Time Next Year

       All societies seem to develop certain traditions whether they be based on times of religious significance, historical remembrance, or whatever it might be that a culture deems worth recognition and celebration.   Most of us welcome holidays as times for getting away from work or school and having an excuse to go someplace, to party, or to just stay home and relax.  And as though the societally accepted days of recognition were not enough, we and our families come up with our own additional special days.

         We tend to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and other noteworthy dates with parties, cards, gifts, dinners, or some kind of recognition.  There are annual communal gatherings to watch recurring events like the Super Bowl or the Oscar Awards.  If something's worth celebrating then it's more fun to do it with people whose company you enjoy.

        Now many of us can add the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge to the "same time next year" event schedule.  When I started that first Challenge in 2010 I didn't think about it becoming an annual event.  Then when I saw the level of interest and how many people wanted to do it again, same time next year was a natural response.  Now here we are seven years later doing the eighth annual Challenge.  I guess we can consider this Challenge as an annual blogging tradition!

        Are there any traditions that you have established with family or friends?  Do you enjoy attending family gatherings or other similar social events?    Are you already planning to come back same time next year for another Blogging from A to Z April Challenge?

Lifetime (#AtoZChallenge)

     A wife asks her husband, "What's a five letter word about time that begins with an "L"?

    Staring at the television the husband doesn't answer, so the wife asks, "Can you tell me?"

    Without looking up the husband says, "Later."

    The wife retorts, "Why can't you tell me now?"





Lifetime

        When I was about five I figured that my great grandmother--Maw Maw we called her--was about a hundred years old.   Looking at a genealogical book about my mother's family I see that at that time Maw Maw would have been more like in her mid eighties.  To a five year old she looked really old.  But so did my grandparents who would have been in their fifties which is younger than I am now.

        They--and I--have lived a decent span of a lifetime.  A person can do a lot in fifty years and more.  Then I think about friends and people I've known through the years who died in their twenties, thirties, or forties.  Those were usually bigger surprises unlike any of my old friends who might pass away now.  At some point in a lifetime the reality of the end coming ever more near is always on the horizon.  I'd like to think that my lifetime will be a long time.  It's been decently long so far, but it would be nice to stay alive and healthy for many many more years to come.

         In Psalms 90 it is said that a normal life span is seventy to eighty years.  Seems like there hasn't been much change a few thousand years later despite all the medical advances.  And is the quality of life any better now?  A person might live to their eighties and never seem to do that much in all that time.  Not if you put that life up against someone who died relatively young like Mozart, Beethoven, or Schubert who all put out voluminous outputs of great music.

       Some of us might imagine that we will merely fade away into the memories of the few we leave behind and then eventually become dusty stats in some courthouse record department.  Sounds glum until you think of the broader implications on the way your life may have touched others.  Every smile we give to another person, every encouraging word, helps to shape the world into a better place.  It would be nice to leave behind a great book or work of art after our lifetimes are over, but in a sense we have left even greater things.  Each of us has an influence that reaches out far beyond our own lives and even beyond our lifetimes.

Limitations

As we grow older we tend to sense an urgency to get things done and time itself seems to speed faster. A lifetime is limited, but unfortunately we don't know exactly what those limitations are as we go forward.   Each day that comes is like a bonus after a while as we start wondering how many more remain.   Can we do everything we've wanted to in the lifetime we've been given?   Have you planned out the life you hope to live?   Or do you let life take you by surprise?