Sad, Madd, Glad--- and Just Plain Ol' Dad

This the final installment of a three part series that began Wednesday and continued yesterday.

  “There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them.”          
 Tom Krause  --- motivational speaker

          Failure is a state of mind.   Some of us may allow an outcome that we have designated as failure to shape our lives and define who we are.  Our failure may make us afraid to move forward in our lives or even give up.  True failure is that which makes us stop trying.

         On October 10, 1988 a concert event for which I thought I had thoroughly planned and in which I had invested several thousand dollars did not turn out as I had expected.   It was not a time for remorse--what was done was done.  I analyzed the "what ifs" of everything that led up to that concert and pondered many what ifs of my future.  It soon became clear to me what I had done wrong.  For one thing I had become too greedy and that greed had made me reckless.

          In July of that same year I had finished up a road tour with the theater company I had managed for nearly ten years.  Each year the tours had gotten shorter and the show dates had gotten fewer.  My wife and I had two kids and the oldest was now of school age.  We decided that this was the time to quit the gypsy life and settle down.  We would use Maryville, Tennessee as our home base and start an entertainment promotion business.  We had plenty of experience and contacts.  We also had a dream that was too big.

          As soon as we got back to Tennessee we started setting up operations.  I put together four simultaneous projects, which as it turns out was a big mistake as we were lacking focus.  I thought I had everything under control and that soon we would be raking in huge sums of money.  We began closing our Canadian bank account and various U.S. accounts and having all of the money transferred to our new business account.  Years of savings--thousands of dollars--were invested in our new projects.  If we had set smaller goals we probably would have slowly built a credible business, but we wanted everything to come quickly and all at once.

          After the concert was over we were left with savings depleted and a debt that was starting to mount.  The other business ventures that we had going at the same time were also not reaping the fortunes we expected and we were unable to adequately keep them going successfully.  One by one, each venture concluded with no profit.  Without any operating capital or incoming cash I was forced to find a job to pay the bills and my wife had two kids to take care of and another on the way.  The entertainment business languished as I worked my regular jobs for a guaranteed income.

          In 1991 I was approached by the company that owned the road show and offered a short tour and then a position of manager of a costume distribution business that they owned in Los Angeles.  My wife and I carefully considered all of the options and finally concluded that this would be a good way to start over.  I accepted the offer and in July we made our move.  The new life looked like it was going to be very good.

         Then an unexpected jolt came into my life.  Less than a year after we had made our move my wife left me with my daughters.  I never saw it coming and still don't really understand it.  All I know is that I was left to take care of daughters ranging in age from ten to three years old.  I somehow managed to keep going.  I struggled with depression, but was mostly too busy to be sad--but often I was sad.  My marital breakup was not a failure, but just a sad event in my life that now I had to move away from.

         In October of 1992 I set up a new account for a customer at my business who had a store by the name of Madd.  The store was a sort of eclectic second hand store in Long Beach.  Since the store had just opened, the owner decided that she wanted to have a grand opening party.  She invited me and I accepted.

         I got a baby-sitter for my daughters on the night of the grand opening party and drove to the party at Madd.  The store was very small and there were so many people there that many of us were on the sidewalk in front of the store.  Since it was October the store was decorated with a Halloween theme.  There was a wide assortment of people in attendance.  Many were arty looking types, some where goths dressed in black, others had tattoos and piercings--nearly everyone was younger than I and much different in appearance.  I looked around for someone with whom I could feel comfortable starting a conversation.

          I noticed a quiet conservative looking man who looked closer to my age standing on the curb and struck up a conversation with him.  At that time I had a tendency to direct conversations to the topic of the situation that I had been experiencing with my divorce and the sadness I had felt.  This man was a good listener and kept up his end of the conversation. 

          Eventually I asked what he did and he told me he was in a band.  My interest in music being what it was, I probed for more information.  He said that he was in a small Christian band that he was sure I had never heard of.  Now my interest was really piqued and I pressed on with my inquiry.  He told me he played saxophone in a band called The Choir.

          I was stunned.   The Choir was among my favorite groups.  I had listened to them for years and owned all their recordings.  The man's name was Dan Michaels.  Now I didn't really care about talking about my problems and wanted to ask him questions about the music business.  He seemed pleased that I knew who he was and was more than happy to continue to indulge my conversation.

        Then at one point Dan directed my attention to another man and led me over to introduce me to him. This man was Gene Eugene, another artist whose work I had followed for years and owned recordings by.  Gene Eugene was a musical genius who wrote songs and performed as a singer and musician.  He also owned a recording studio and had produced some of the finest albums by some of the top Christian rock bands.  Now I was really floored.  We chatted briefly, but it was getting late and I had to get home to my girls.

          I wish I could have visited with these musicians for hours.  And for all I know the guys who Gene was talking to may have been other musicians from other bands that I liked.  I'll never know.   Gene Eugene died  in 2000 leaving a tremendous void in the Christian music scene.  The funky jazz rock albums of Gene Eugene and his group Adam Again are well worth checking out, as are all the various other projects with which he was affiliated.  Likewise, the ethereal soft rock of The Choir is exceptional music well worth a listen.

           That night as I drove home from the party at Madd, I was glad that I had gone and excited about having met Gene and the exceptionally friendly Dan Michaels.   But I needed to get back home to my daughters.  If there was one thing that I really wanted to be successful at it was being a daddy.  The years have been good and I think I did okay.

           Are you familiar with the music of The Choir or Gene Eugene (Adam Again)?     What is your philosophy of failure and success?   Have you had a time in your life when you felt like a failure?  How did you come back from that feeling?     Right now in your life are you failing or succeeding? 
          


Gene Eugene:    I wrote about him in a post of October 9, 2009

Mysteries in the Night

           Halloween will continue to be a primary topic on this blog until the end of October--that is unless an onslaught of disgruntled comments ask me to stop.  I do have more to say on the subject of Halloween and the economy which I will continue. In future blogs, I intend to address issues such as Halloween as Tradition, ways that Halloween is celebrated, the whys of Halloween,  costume ideas, Halloween from the religious viewpoint, Halloween entertainment, Halloween stories, and other Halloween related topics.  If any readers have anything special about Halloween to bring up I'd like to talk about that as well. 
          
           In a comment to one of my earlier blogs, Jennifer Hudson Taylor suggested that a "regular blog schedule" might be a helpful approach to giving a sense of continuity to one's efforts.  She suggests that readers like to know what to expect and may come back if they are routinely looking for something that interests them.  I guess this might be similar to watching a favorite TV show on a regular basis.  Many of us are creatures of habit.  I may try to develop my entries somewhat along these lines. Maybe I won't go so far as WACKY WEDNESDAYS  or SOMBER SUNDAYS, but the idea has merit and I may be playing with this.  So in that spirit I offer you the following:

          In my post of a week ago, I talked about some DARK MYSTERIES that I had read about recently. Yesterday's Los Angeles Times offered an update on the story of Mitrice Richardson, a 24-year-old woman    who had just outright seemed to have disappeared after she was released  from police custody at 1:25 AM on September 17.  She had been arrested after she had refused to pay a bill at a Malibu restaurant and then police discovered marijuana in her car.  Witnesses reported that she had been acting "odd, but entertaining".  Later police decided it was okay to let her go and sent her on her way with no purse, cell phone, or car.  That was the last confirmed sighting of Mitrice.  Since then there have been several reports of possible sightings but nothing confirmed.  Earlier this week a body was found in a burning dumpster in Santa Fe Springs, CA but police determined that the body was not Mitrice.  However police and relatives of the young woman are convinced that she is still alive somewhere. Where is Mitrice?  Let's pray that this young woman will be found unharmed and can continue on with her promising life.

             In the same posting I also mentioned the death of Amy Farris, a talented violin player who had been  in the group DAVE ALVIN AND THE GUILTY WOMEN.  Suicide is the suspected cause for death but so far I have not seen any other confirmation about this.  I have seen nothing but praises and accolades for her talents and for her as a person.  The loss of someone like this is so tragic.  And there have been so many.
The story made me think of another musical artist who departed having left a huge impact, but with so much more that could have been accomplished. 

            Gene Eugene was a musical genius the way I look at it.  I had been a fan and follower of Gene's for many years when I heard that he had died.  He was the primary creative force behind the highly innovative Christian rock/funk band ADAM AGAIN.  Gene produced, engineered, sang, played, and wrote most of the songs on the group's albums.  If they had not been hindered by the label of being identified as a "Christian" band they might have been much bigger than they were.  Let's face it-- to be indentified as a "Christian" band tends to turn off a lot of the pop music audience. Nevertheless, Gene was highly regarded in his music circles.  He also lent his immense talents in contributions to other groups' recording efforts and produced the albums of many more in his Green Room recording studio in Huntington Beach, CA. On March 20, 2000 Gene Andrusco (his real name) died in his sleep.  His friends said he had not been feeling well prior to his death and had said he had a headache before he had gone to bed.  He had also been in a car accident prior to his death and had been complaining about headaches. I never saw any absolute confirmation of what the cause of death was but at the age of 38 it was far too soon.  I met Gene at a party once, but didn't talk to him as much as I wished later on-- I think I was so surprised to find him at this particular party, a Halloween related party strangely enough, that I was just taken by surprise that he would have been there.  In any case, any rock music fans who are not familiar with Gene Eugene and the music with which he is associated you should check him out.  Some of the bands that he was connected with besides ADAM AGAIN are the LOST DOGS and THE SWIRLING EDDIES, not to mention the numerous bands for which he produced albums.  Click on this link to read more about Gene Eugene .

          Finally, last week I talked about another stupid gang-related death.  One could probably do an entire blog about nothing but this topic.  I am not going to go into this subject today, but I'm sure that I will sometime in the future.

           Leave a comment if you wish.  I'd love to hear what anyone has to say about any of this.  Anybody familiar with the music of Amy Farris?   Do you have any favorite Christian artists?  What is you opinion of Contemporary Christian Music?  I look forward to hearing from you.