If anyone is looking for Eve from Little Things..., look no further. If you've never experienced Eve's blog you'll get a taste of it as she hijacks my blog. Wait--now where'd she go?
Hey everybody!....here I am...way over here at Arlee Bird's blog
www.tossingitout.blogspot.com ...
...(I guess I didn't have to include his address, you guys are already here!..(later, if you like, I'll give you directions to your own house!)) (If I'm ever on Jeopardy my specialty will be the bloody obvious!)...
Just so you know who's talking to you...my name is Eve. It's from the Hebrew, meaning 'morning sickness'...
...if you believe the legends, I am the woman who actually HAD to marry the last man on earth...
...god, this is such a long way from where I'm from.....
www.bcbuddie.blogspot.com
If I knew it was this far I'd have packed more snacks.
Luckily Lee sent that panel van to pick me up, so I didn't have to walk the whole way!
Oh well....it's too late for complaining now that I'm here...you did say lunch...right?
Cause I'm pretty hungry....
I love what you've done with the place Lee....your wife picked out those cushions, didn't she?
So, how does this type of thing usually work? ...
..are there any formalities to dispense with before I commence to hijacking?
Or can I immediately begin to demand that you turn this thing around and head for Cuba?..
Or can I immediately begin to demand that you turn this thing around and head for Cuba?..
..omg...I probably shouldn't have said that!
Now I'm gonna get an unnecessarily long line of questioning, and a higher than average amount of accusatory leers,
(and maybe even a 'dressing down'!),
next time I'm at the 'Peace Arch' waiting to get to Bellingham to buy cheese...
(and maybe even a 'dressing down'!),
next time I'm at the 'Peace Arch' waiting to get to Bellingham to buy cheese...
.....maybe I'll even have to pull over and sit in that little 'questioning hut'....again.
Awww....who am I kidding? Border guards don't read blogs...they have enough reading material keeping up with the latest edition of, "There's Big Money in Staying Put."
Awww....who am I kidding? Border guards don't read blogs...they have enough reading material keeping up with the latest edition of, "There's Big Money in Staying Put."
Anyways, does anyone ever
hijack a plane to Cuba anymore?....
hijack a plane to Cuba anymore?....
Come to think of it...does anyone ever hijack a plane to ANY where anymore?
There was a time..in about the mid-70's... when it seemed that the Holiday Inn Havana was hiring or something, so many planes were hijacked, and most of them seemed to want to go to Cuba...
...or Algeria! (They have a Howard Johnson's there.)
Hijacking planes, thankfully, has become passe...
...Thanks America!
You know what else was popular in the '70's, that you never hear of anymore?....
Spontaneous combustion.
Do you remember? Back then it was common to hijack a plane to Cuba...and to burst into flames for no legitimate reason.
Does anyone else remember this picture? It made the rounds back around the mid-to-late seventies....(mind you, back then the 'rounds' were a lot smaller than they are now.)
The story goes that this old lady (I'm assuming she was old based on her chosen footwear) was sitting in her favourite chair when suddenly she burst into flames so horrific, that they consumed the entire chair and most of her...all that was left was this portion of her leg...
Okay, I admit I don't know for sure if it was her FAVOURITE chair....I don't know how many chairs she had...and even if I did know how many chairs she had, I still wouldn't know how often she used this burnt up chair....(like that makes a difference!)
wouldn't it suck if she hardly ever sat in this chair, and the one time she did she burst into flames?!
That would be the worst luck in the world.....if the flames originated in the chair....
(If the flames did originate in the chair, wouldn't she have just stood up and poured her Manhattan on them, gathered her knitting and sat in a different chair? I mean...who continues to sit in a chair that's on fire? (Unlessssss......they're already dead! ))
...if the flames originated in her body, as the proponents of spontaneous combustion used to suggest...then we can assume that this would have happened to her no matter where she sat, or stood.
That brings about another question...if this is a legitimate way to die...then why don't we see it anymore?
There are literally BILLIONS of people on the planet...why aren't some of them bursting into flames while they're driving to dance recital...or waiting to see the proctologist....or on their way to a skim milk festival in Boise?
You know that if that happened that shit would be ALL over YouTube!
And now for a strange interlude.
This is, I think, is the funniest five second video on the internet:
I hate to ease myself gently into a tank of sharks wearing Lady Gaga's used meat dress, but, you guys are having an election this year eh?.....I mean......right?? I have an idea that might be worth considering. Why don't you run the election like they run those 'talent' shows on tv? (I'm assuming that the same people who read this blog can control how their country's elections are held.) Have the candidates come out, onto a stage, and display their talents.... ..(Maybe O'Bama could stand on the back of an elephant, and balance a seal, (balancing an M-16), on his chin, while dancing a hula and singing 'Stranger In the Night'.... ...and Mitt Romney could juggle hot nickles while ball gagging a couple of Irish Setters.....or something....) ....and you guys would vote,(by phone or text) for what you think is the most impressive act. ....when the contestants finish their acts they could encourage your votes by miming talking on the phone and holding up a number of fingers corresponding with the 'contestant number' they've been assigned... (Up to 10 calls per method per household, long distance charges may apply.) Alternatively, you could do it like the they do the 'Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes'....just notify random people, (through the mail, with the promise of savings of up to 75% on magazines such as 'Fill Your Life with Ham Hocks' and 'Is Skulduggery For Me?') ....that they may ALREADY be the President. Of course they'd have to order...blank many magazines to find out for sure..(and we all know that 'blank many' is metric for ....about seven)... ...in the meantime the country could be run by a wayward troop of vicious baboons. People would be complaining all over the place....."we've got to get those baboons out of office!" While we're talking about all this, I have a political question.... ....what the hell kind of a name is 'Mitt'?? anyway?! Is it short for something? 'Mittens'? I've never heard of this name before and I can't believe that no one has broached this subject...People are carrying on as if 'Mitt' is a regular name for a potential President... I know I'm a foreigner, but I just don't get it! I think the name of someone like a President matters. Who would really respect a President Skippy? Sorry if I've offended anyone who's all about the Mitt man....the Mitt-ster...Mr. Mitt-inger...... Tell you what, please, feel free to make disparaging comments about any....and I mean ANY!......potential, past, or sitting, Canadian leader..... ....go ahead.... ....I'll just wait here by the lunch counter....(are you gonna eat your pickle?....Cause I'm still...you know...hungry. The only thing in the panel van was warm egg salad....).... ............................................. I KNEW it! You can't think of any, can you?! I can even barely think of any of them.... Of course we have Stephen Harper, with his 9 year old boy haircut, (and the nine year old he stole it from is plenty mad!!) ....and his Zellers suits... (Zellers is kind of like a Canadian Walmart....but with waaaayyyy crappier stuff, and not as much of it.)
Apropos of nothing at all.....I've always thought that, "The Bugged-Eyed Darrens" would be an excellent name for a punk band. If any of you watched 'Bewitched' back in the day, you'll know where I'm coming from. I believe that no ONE show, should have more than one Darren....(It's a complicated religious belief, with rites and sacrifices, big necklaces and funny hats...).....
I think it's strange that both Darrens were really called 'Dick'. (How many Dicks does it take to make a Darren?) Finally, I'd like to leave you all with a tune from that great Canadian band, The Barenaked Ladies. This expresses my deep gratitude to Lee, for the opportunity to 'see the world beyond my front door', (so to speak), and to, hopefully, bring a little laughter to some new people. Thanks for listening to my ramblings...it's been a pleasure! Pinch Me!
Peace Everyone!
...or Algeria! (They have a Howard Johnson's there.)
Hijacking planes, thankfully, has become passe...
...Thanks America!
You know what else was popular in the '70's, that you never hear of anymore?....
Spontaneous combustion.
Do you remember? Back then it was common to hijack a plane to Cuba...and to burst into flames for no legitimate reason.
Does anyone else remember this picture? It made the rounds back around the mid-to-late seventies....(mind you, back then the 'rounds' were a lot smaller than they are now.)
The story goes that this old lady (I'm assuming she was old based on her chosen footwear) was sitting in her favourite chair when suddenly she burst into flames so horrific, that they consumed the entire chair and most of her...all that was left was this portion of her leg...
Okay, I admit I don't know for sure if it was her FAVOURITE chair....I don't know how many chairs she had...and even if I did know how many chairs she had, I still wouldn't know how often she used this burnt up chair....(like that makes a difference!)
wouldn't it suck if she hardly ever sat in this chair, and the one time she did she burst into flames?!
That would be the worst luck in the world.....if the flames originated in the chair....
(If the flames did originate in the chair, wouldn't she have just stood up and poured her Manhattan on them, gathered her knitting and sat in a different chair? I mean...who continues to sit in a chair that's on fire? (Unlessssss......they're already dead! ))
...if the flames originated in her body, as the proponents of spontaneous combustion used to suggest...then we can assume that this would have happened to her no matter where she sat, or stood.
That brings about another question...if this is a legitimate way to die...then why don't we see it anymore?
There are literally BILLIONS of people on the planet...why aren't some of them bursting into flames while they're driving to dance recital...or waiting to see the proctologist....or on their way to a skim milk festival in Boise?
You know that if that happened that shit would be ALL over YouTube!
And now for a strange interlude.
This is, I think, is the funniest five second video on the internet:
I hate to ease myself gently into a tank of sharks wearing Lady Gaga's used meat dress, but, you guys are having an election this year eh?.....I mean......right?? I have an idea that might be worth considering. Why don't you run the election like they run those 'talent' shows on tv? (I'm assuming that the same people who read this blog can control how their country's elections are held.) Have the candidates come out, onto a stage, and display their talents.... ..(Maybe O'Bama could stand on the back of an elephant, and balance a seal, (balancing an M-16), on his chin, while dancing a hula and singing 'Stranger In the Night'.... ...and Mitt Romney could juggle hot nickles while ball gagging a couple of Irish Setters.....or something....) ....and you guys would vote,(by phone or text) for what you think is the most impressive act. ....when the contestants finish their acts they could encourage your votes by miming talking on the phone and holding up a number of fingers corresponding with the 'contestant number' they've been assigned... (Up to 10 calls per method per household, long distance charges may apply.) Alternatively, you could do it like the they do the 'Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes'....just notify random people, (through the mail, with the promise of savings of up to 75% on magazines such as 'Fill Your Life with Ham Hocks' and 'Is Skulduggery For Me?') ....that they may ALREADY be the President. Of course they'd have to order...blank many magazines to find out for sure..(and we all know that 'blank many' is metric for ....about seven)... ...in the meantime the country could be run by a wayward troop of vicious baboons. People would be complaining all over the place....."we've got to get those baboons out of office!" While we're talking about all this, I have a political question.... ....what the hell kind of a name is 'Mitt'?? anyway?! Is it short for something? 'Mittens'? I've never heard of this name before and I can't believe that no one has broached this subject...People are carrying on as if 'Mitt' is a regular name for a potential President... I know I'm a foreigner, but I just don't get it! I think the name of someone like a President matters. Who would really respect a President Skippy? Sorry if I've offended anyone who's all about the Mitt man....the Mitt-ster...Mr. Mitt-inger...... Tell you what, please, feel free to make disparaging comments about any....and I mean ANY!......potential, past, or sitting, Canadian leader..... ....go ahead.... ....I'll just wait here by the lunch counter....(are you gonna eat your pickle?....Cause I'm still...you know...hungry. The only thing in the panel van was warm egg salad....).... ............................................. I KNEW it! You can't think of any, can you?! I can even barely think of any of them.... Of course we have Stephen Harper, with his 9 year old boy haircut, (and the nine year old he stole it from is plenty mad!!) ....and his Zellers suits... (Zellers is kind of like a Canadian Walmart....but with waaaayyyy crappier stuff, and not as much of it.)
I think it's strange that both Darrens were really called 'Dick'. (How many Dicks does it take to make a Darren?) Finally, I'd like to leave you all with a tune from that great Canadian band, The Barenaked Ladies. This expresses my deep gratitude to Lee, for the opportunity to 'see the world beyond my front door', (so to speak), and to, hopefully, bring a little laughter to some new people. Thanks for listening to my ramblings...it's been a pleasure! Pinch Me!
Peace Everyone!
Hahaha, for a ramble this was a really well thought out, intelligent post Eve, I have to admit I love free flowing posts like this so I loved this post. Dog Day is a really good film and spontaneous combustion really freaks me out so thanks for that haha. In a weird twist it was just yesterday that I was talking to my mum about Bewitched and we had a debate over whether Samantha's husband was called Darrell or Darren, naturally it was me who argued he was called Darren, great post!
ReplyDeleteHi Lee,
ReplyDeleteThat was a somewhat strange hijacking post there. Not quite sure what to say!
There's a Howard Johnson's in Algeria? Really? Motor Lodge or just restaurant? I haven't seen a HoJo Motor Lodge in decades. I thought I saw a Ho Jo's restaurant last month. The sign said Howard Johnson's but the roof wasn't orange so I can't be sure.
ReplyDeleteDelightful meeting you here at Lee's place.
Had a good laugh over this one. What kind of a name is Mitt anyway? or Barack for that matter?
ReplyDeleteI remember the picture of the leg and spontaneous combustion and I also remember what was finally thought to have happened to the little old lady. They did a re-enactment with a dead pig
ReplyDeleteIt was thought she either had a heart attack or died of natural causes and her arm or the like fell into the open fire in the room (I think it was an open fire it was a long time ago). She then started to burn, but there were no windows open so the room filled with smoke which started to choke the fire of oxygen. Her body then acted a bit like a candle and smouldered away until the bulk of her body was gone leaving what you see in the photo. The same thing happened to the pig when they did a reconstruction.
Please note no little old ladies or pigs were harmed in the writing of this comment. Well not many
I also found it odd that both Darrins were Dicks.
ReplyDeleteI remember seeing that spontaneous human combustion pic in books.
Interesting stuff here.
Hey Yeamie...thanks so much for the comment..I agree, Dog Day Afternoon is a great film. I'm surprised by how many people haven't seen it..one of the best lines, "Why are you robbing a bank?" "What do mean? They've got money here..that's why." Glad you enjoyed my ramblings!
ReplyDeleteHey Duncan! It's okay if you don't know what to say...not everything I (or anyone else!) write(s) will appeal to everyone...there are so many people on the planet that being everyone's cup of tea would be an impossible task. If everyone liked what I do I would cease to trust myself..Thanks for the comment.
Hey LD!! This was a lot of fun and it's so good to see you over here! I don't know for sure if there is (or ever was)a Howard Johnsons in Algeria...Have a great day!
Hey Thea! I'm so glad you had a good laugh..that's always my main goal..thanks so much for taking the time to comment.
Hey Rob! Interesting! I always figured that spontaneous combustion was a crock...thanks for that info..they use pigs a lot when reconstructing human mishaps..apparently they're a lot like us, or we're a lot like them! thanks for the comment!
Hey Medeia! Glad you enjoyed it and thanks so much for taking the time to comment...it's most appreciated!
I'm not sure what is funnier but you crack me up my friend. I love your blog and always enjoy your free associations taking us to places no one should ever go. LOL
ReplyDeleteThanks Eve! I'm so glad that there are a few people, like you, out there who like my writing...thanks for checking this out and taking the time to comment..you rock! lol!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lee for giving me the opportunity, and the space, to do this. It was a lot of fun and I would do it again in a heartbeat...didn't get a huge amount of comments, but that seems to be the way..thanks again and have a fantastic day!
Thank you, Eve, for this fun guest post. Appearing on a holiday may have cut into your comments, then again you may have just totally left visitors speechless like Duncan said.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to have hosted you and just let me when you want to do another guest post. You did pretty well for your guest posting debut.
Lee
That was a lot of fun! And I LOVE BNL - I can listen to any of their music! :)
ReplyDelete