Insecure Writer's Support Group
Join us on the first Wednesday of each month in Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group--a forum of writers who gather to talk about writing and the writer's life. For a complete list of participants visit Alex's Blog. Now What?
Leon Russell's song "Manhattan Island Serenade" provides a good analogy to how I feel after an A to Z Challenge has ended. The narrator of the song talks about being broke down stuck along the roadside and thinking of recent loss. He reflects on where he's been and where he's going next. It's kind of the same way I feel and what I've read some of the other A to Z participants say they feel about the end of the Challenge. But it's a temporary feeling like we get any time we've had a rush of fullness in life and then it's gone leaving us with only memories.
But enough reflecting for now. My official A to Z Reflections Post will appear on Tossing It Out coming on Monday May 9th. For more information about the Reflections Post be sure to visit the A to Z Challenge Blog. Today I want to consider some things ahead on my blog.
Love and Ego
During the month of April I began to ponder the concepts of love and ego and all things connected with these concepts. I meandered through many aspects of these things prompted by whatever I was absorbing in the media, on the internet, and all around me in general. It was one of those weird moods perhaps, but it led me to a number of questions.
Why do we write? Why do we blog? Why do we do the things we do or find ourselves attracted to certain people? And in the end what does it all mean? Just asking, you know--just asking like most of us probably ask the universe at times.
And specifically in regard to our writing and blogging, why do we choose the stories we tell and topics we explore and how do we make these things relevant to others? Sounds whimsical perhaps, and it is. But why not? Why not ask what, how, and why? Besides summer is coming and that's a time that I've always associated with daydreaming and thinking down the rabbit hole. Lazy days and crazy days. Vacations and recreations. Much of my recreation consists of thinking so that's what I plan to do even though thinking seems to be what I do much of the time anyway.
After all summer is coming and with summer while I physically wander the country, my mind will be wondering about many things. This is always the case it seems. If we aren't questioning, then we must be lacking in awareness. Not thinking is not being alive.
Maybe it's silly to ask the age old question "What is the meaning of life?" But then, why not ask the question? In asking we might find an answer. Or more likely we might give rise to more questions. Sometimes the questions never stop just as much of the time the answers never come.
In any case, my theme in every post on Tossing It Out including my Battle of the Bands posts from now until I decide to stop will be "Love and Ego". Call me obsessed if you like. But then maybe Love and Ego is ultimately the only theme any of us ever writes about when it comes right down to the crux of all things.
Do you ever ponder the mysteries of love and ego? Do you consider your actions to be mostly driven by ego, love, both, or something else entirely? Does the word "ego" have a negative connotation to you?
I write a blog, (a) for the companionship I get from fellow bloggers and (b) writing is a form of therapy to help with situations I may find myself in..
ReplyDeleteWonderful post Lee, have a great month of May.
Yvonne.
Yvonne, both are very good reasons for blogging. These are two of my reasons for blogging as well.
DeleteLee
ReplyDeleteSometimes I think it's something beyond me that makes me write, of better yet, something ascribed to my DNA. I don't really feel there's a choice. Even when I stop, I always have to start again. Sounds like you have some intriguing music coming up.
Liza, the DNA theory is interesting. People do seem to be inclined toward certain things and it can be difficult to say why. I too feel a compulsion to write, but I don't now that I would ascribe it to DNA or something in my experience in growing up. Might be worth some researching.
DeleteLee
Sounds intriguing, Arlee. Look forward to reading your thoughts. I write because there's nothing else I want to do. I've had several careers - all relatively successful - but with each one, I ended up being dissatisfied and somewhat unchallenged. Writing is challenging and even though some results are dissatisying, there is always something to do to make it better. Writing has no limits. That's why I'm here. I blog to meet like minded people.
ReplyDeleteNicola, the careers that I've enjoyed most had some strong elements of creativity built into them and writing fits within that framework. Hope your writing efforts result in more satisfaction in the future, but it's good that you are where you are now.
DeleteLee
I thought the meaning of life was fory-two?
ReplyDeleteTo me, the meaning is to love like God loves.
Alex, the word love in English has so many connotations and the concept has so many implications that defining love can be complicated. Love as related to God is certainly one big aspect of love.
DeleteLee
I was thinking it was 42, but then I discovered that 42 is the "answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything", but we don't know the question. Or maybe Arlee does......................
DeleteRoland, if I knew the ultimate question I wouldn't be speculating as I am in this post. And if there were something that might be considered the "ultimate question" it would likely be only one of many. I'd better not think too much about this though or I'll get nothing done today and end up with my head hurting:)
DeleteLee
Ego does have negative connotations even though we all have one. I guess if someone has to talk to you about your ego, then it's probably over-inflated or too easily hurt or some other bad thing. How to cultivate a healthy ego? That's an interesting question.
ReplyDeleteTamara, ego is necessary for humans to survive adequately. The overly large ego can be very offensive, but it probably has a lot to do with success.
DeleteLee
Like most writers, I think there's just something inside of me that drives me to write. And then of course, obsess over whether or not anyone cares about what I write!
ReplyDeleteQuanie, that element of wondering if anyone cares about what we do is all about our sense of ego, don't you think?
DeleteLee
Karen, it's an age old topic that concerns us all I suppose. No wonder so many books have been written centered on the topic of love.
ReplyDeleteLee
>>..."If we aren't questioning, then we must be lacking in awareness. Not thinking is not being alive."
ReplyDeleteThis is one true, profound statement. I agree.
I was once told that EGO stood for: 'Easing God Out'... so I tend to keep myself humble, and remember the Creator first.
Very nice post, Lee!
Dixie, humility is a good plan of checking our perspective in check, but still we shouldn't let ourselves be harmfully taken advantage of.
DeleteLee
I don't have many answers. All I can say is I write what I love to read. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnna from elements of emaginette
emaginette, So many questions with so few answers and often the answers are proven wrong or there are many answers to the same question. Writing what you like to read is important I think.
DeleteLee
Without a sense of self-worth--maybe that should read, without loving one's self, I don't think we're capable of loving others. An over-blown ego has a negative connotation for me, but not a healthy one that says, "You're good and you should share some of that good with others."
ReplyDeleteC.Lee, I've often heard it said that we need to love ourselves first before we can love others and I agree with this sentiment. Loving oneself to the exclusion or demeaning of others is not healthy.
DeleteLee
I do tend to think about things like love and ego. As for my motivations, I guess it's both. I believe I (and anyone else, for that matter), deserve to do what they love for life. So almost everything I do is about making sure my life is one worth living.
ReplyDeleteMisha, life becomes pretty miserable if we aren't finding positive things that make life worth staying around for. Nothing wrong with trying to please oneself within reason.
DeleteLee
Ego is a good word if your ego is used to exceed rather than meet expectations. And help others of course. I have a healthy ego but I'm also a very humble person. it's that ying-yang thing.
ReplyDeleteMay 2016 IWSG Co-Host
May the 4th Be With You
Stephen Tremp’s Breakthrough Blogs
Stephen Tremp, I tend to be as you describe yourself. A healthy ego should lift us up without stepping on others.
DeleteLee
Love and ego are both powerful motivators for many things; vocation (such as writing), competition, spiritual health and well-being, etc., though often it seems that one is taken for granted while the other is over-stuffed. I’ve always wondered why balancing the two should be so difficult. Maybe you’ll answer that question in your ponderings ;-)
ReplyDeleteDiedre, I imagine I'll consider these things in one of my posts. Healthy living is essentially about balance I think.
DeleteLee
When I think of ego, I mainly think of people with big over-the-top egos, cocky in nature. But the reality is we all have egos. It is the center of our self-esteem and our self-worth. We can have boosts to our ego (which make us feel better or important or simply noticed and acknowledged) or hits to our ego (when someone knocks us down a peg or two, as they say); we can have egos that offend people. I tend to think that my ego is in check. At least I hope it is.
ReplyDeleteFreud's presentation of the ego, the id and the super-ego make for some fascinating reflection.
As to why I blog: I blog to share mainly. To share information, music, stories, inspirations and friendships. I wish I would use my blog to write more but I'm perpetually stalled in that department!
Will look forward to your posts on love and ego.
Michele at Angels Bark
Michele, "ego" is one of those oft abused and misused words in our language. Ego is a part of all of use and shouldn't be used as a slur.
DeleteI consider writing on a blog to be writing. When I compose a post (or even a comment) I want to say something in writing and not just scribble mindless prattle. I have always seen something of substance on your blog. Substance doesn't always have to be deep, but as long as it is presentable word content that is readable and of interest to others then it's writing!
Lee
I've long believed everything in this life happens for a reason, and that if something happens, it was meant to have happened. So I predominantly believe our lives are driven on by Fate (to use a line from the opening of The Aeneid) and Divine Providence. I do believe free will exists alongside of predetermination, which sounds like such a paradox.
ReplyDeleteCarrie-Anne, I would say that I essentially believe along the same lines as you have indicated. We have a certain amount of control in our lives, but what happens happens and what has happened is the way it is meant to be. Paradox indeed and mind boggling when you start delving into it.
DeleteLee
Why I blog - I blog because I enjoy sharing with my friends and making new friends in the process. Sometimes it's simply to share something that most of us already know, but I try to work in a detail or two that someone might not have known previously.
ReplyDeleteI equate ego with pride. Large, over the top egos usually mean someone is prideful. But you can have pride in your work and family, and still be quite humble.
Mary
#AtoZChallenge Reflections and #IWSG
Mary, it's funny about these words like "pride" as they can connote the very bad as well as the very good. It's a matter of context.
DeleteGood blogging is essentially like good conversation--either that or something like print media articles that are for the purpose of sharing information with others. For me, reading blogs has replaced reading the newspaper to a great extent.
Lee
In simplistic terms, I think "ego" is what pushes us on whatever path we have chosen, makes us care, gives us impetus. I also think it is the most destructive part of us, causes wars, causes alienation, causes lack of compassion for others. It is both the best and worst of us. And "love" has SO many meanings I wouldn't know where to begin on how I feel about that. What a great idea to blog on this... Thanks for stopping by my blog Lee!
ReplyDeleteLisa, good point. The definitions and implications are far bigger than the words.
DeleteLee
Your questions are really great. I definitely ponder love and ego, narcissism and what the mix of all of it means. It's never fun with the narcissist mixes with its opposite. I have been there in life more times than I like to admit. In any case, I don't think ego is a bad term. It's probably an adjective attached to it that creates an emotional response for me. Thank you for
ReplyDeleteYour questions and insights
Erika, agreed! Ego is just that, but with an adjective attached the word can go in either a positive, negative, or a neutral direction.
DeleteLee
I blog for many reasons, including to keep my brain active and resolve things in my life. It doesn't always work, but at least I also get to engage with a few more people than I interact with physically. Life in a wheelchair can be limited.
ReplyDeletewww.rolandclarke.com
Roland, I think I blog for much the same reasons that you do. I can only imagine how limiting a wheelchair bound life would be, but through our minds and dreams our world is limitless.
DeleteLee
I put my little lawn chair outside in front of the door and soak up my 15 minutes or so of Vitamin D every day there's sunshine...and I use that time to think deep thoughts. Sometimes it's no more than how relaxed I feel when I pet the dog and wondering why...other times I try to get into my own head and memories to divine my purpose. Is there anyone who doesn't wonder why they're here and if there's something important they should be doing?
ReplyDeletePatricia, what you do is how the accomplishment of great things begin.
DeleteLee
The reasons I do what I do, read what I read and write what I do are so many and change so often I could probably write a book on them.
ReplyDeleteMy absolute favorite reason and one that rarely changes is my love for connections that I make that become friendships and when something I write truly helps someone.
Doreen, you're right about the reasons--"let me count the ways" come to my mind. I'm always pleased when something I've written or done is acknowledged to have been of benefit to another person.
DeleteLee
I agree with Alex. To love like God loves takes real commitment.
ReplyDeleteSusan, commitment is the most difficult part of loving from the human perspective.
DeleteLee
Love, maybe.
ReplyDeleteEgo, perhaps.
Desperation- searching for peace and understanding.
Sometimes for me, the meaning of life is just wanting to live.
Toinette, if we aren't wanting to live then I think that's a big problem.
DeleteLee
Yeah I agree Love and Ego actually goes hand in hand... If and Only if they did'nt... sigh sigh....
ReplyDeletehttps://serendipityofdreams.blogspot.in/2016/05/reflections-2016.html
Deepti, but then again, without ego would there be love? So many deep questions that are difficult to answer.
DeleteLee
I sometimes get into a weird loop where I sit and ponder if I'm too self-centered and then wonder if pondering about that makes me even more self-centered. I mean, I want to be the best me I can be, and among that me-ness, I want there to be a selflessness about it, but by considering how to be more selfless, does that make me self-absorbed?
ReplyDeleteHonestly, though, I am narcissistic. I have no issues with saying, "Hey, I'm awesome," while smirking and shining my nails on my coat. Is it bad? No, but it could be.
There goes that whole thought spiral again.
Loni, I tend to be the same way--overthink to the point where I'm thinking about what I'm thinking or something like that. I totally understand.
DeleteLee
'Ego' has the connotation of being bad, but really it's just how a person thinks about themselves. An ego is only bad if the person ONLY thinks about themselves, and think they are more important than anyone/anything else.
ReplyDeleteAs for the questions we ponder, I've often wondered what does attract one person to another. At times it seems we are attracted to those just like us, and other times we seem to find opposites attract. In addition to this, I've often wondered what the answer is to the ultimate question. Life, the Universe and Everything. After giving it much though, I've finally decided on something that makes sense and I think everyone can agree on. The answer to Life, the Universe and Everything has got to be 42.
Jeffrey, I so often hear people using ego as an insult, but it shouldn't be. You're right about people who think only of themselves, but we should all maintain a sense of self esteem.
DeleteSadly we often misinterpret what attraction amounts to and then get disappointed when it all falls badly apart.
Lee