I'm convinced that I am the funniest guy in the whole world. Why? I'm the funniest guy because I'm the smartest guy in the world. Not to say I'm more intelligent than some physicists, doctors, brilliant scholars, or any learned erudite individuals such as that. There are many vocational abilities like auto mechanics, computer technology, or plumbing that I don't know much of anything about. However, I could learn anything I wanted to learn if I so desired because I am so brilliant.
My absolute brilliance is what makes me so funny. You might as well accept that I'm smarter than you are. Smarter than anyone anywhere is.
Take for example some bearded pseudo-intellectual who looks like he could be a college professor or some bogus intelligentsia phony like that. Sure, he might write or talk a good game that might cause some folks to believe he's brilliant because he thinks he's brilliant. Forget it. Not as smart as I am and nowhere near being as funny even when he tries.
Or what about that new age globalist thinking so and so who thinks science has all the answers and she has attained some kind of moral superiority to others she sees as lesser to her though she might try to portray herself as equal to all. Some might ooh and aah over her smooth written words, but any really smart person is not really fooled by that nonsense. I mean, it's all okay--nice and all, but kind of a bore.
There are smart and funny people in the world, but really no one smarter and funnier than I am. I don't have to do anything to prove it. Facts are facts. Alternate facts are even facts albeit they are alternate. Some who read this might be annoyed by what I'm saying here, but if you're annoyed it might be because you don't get it. Or maybe you're taking it all too seriously. Lighten up--I'm hilarious and you know it. Even if you don't immediately recognize it.
The best humor is not often immediately understood because it requires deep long thought. Or maybe not long and deep, but perceptive consideration. Perceptivity is not something that comes natural to everyone. Not if literal thinking about everything you hear gets in the way. We can see this in a good many journalists on an everyday basis if you watch television mainstream news. They are funny without thinking or realizing they're funny and they don't fully comprehend a lot of stuff they absorb because of overly literal thinking. On the other hand, I get it because I am brilliantly perceptive.
Anyone who doesn't realize that I'm amazingly funny is reading me the wrong way. Or more likely they're not reading at all, but merely skimming through. If you're skimming through this piece for example, you're liking missing the xjafadisg that I'm talking about here. If you are reading with even casual care, that is, to the extent of comprehending part, but maybe not all of what I'm saying, then you might be getting it--or maybe there will be a delayed reaction.
You might wake up tonight or in the wee hours of the dark morning chucking about this post. Or you might find yourself laughing out of nowhere ten years from now and then suddenly realize it's because of what Arlee said in this current post. Or even when you are in the far reaches of old age lying on your death bed finally getting what I once said, you might burst out laughing to the astonishment of loved ones gathered around your bedside as you vaguely recollect the gist of what has been written in this post. Even if you don't remember exactly that it was this blog post or it was me who had said what was said here. What a great satisfaction for me if you were to literally die laughing because of something I said so many years before. I'll likely already be dead too, but it would still be a smile on my face if I knew it happened.
Now, what I'm saying might not really be what you think you are reading. In fact I might not even totally fathom the extent of my words in this blog post. Just because I'm brilliant doesn't necessarily mean that I know everything immediately, but it only means I know more than you. I am truly funny. Hilarious. Humor beyond all human comprehension. Laughable I know, but because it's so brilliant you will eventually get the joke. Even if you die arriving at the punchline.
My guess is that someone reading this is irritated and annoyed, thinking, "What a pompous ass this Arlee Bird is." Some guy somewhere is probably stroking his beard in perplexity, almost angry and brimming with frustration, knowing that I'm probably right--no, not probably, but he knows I am absolutely correct and there's nothing he can do to forget my words, until one day sad and misty eyed he will began to slightly smile and then burst into uproarious laughter that purges his sorrow and opens his heart to the complete awareness of the regret he has never understood until that brief uproariously funny moment when he realizes that the funniest guy in the world was me, Arlee Bird.
Arlee Bird--The funniest, the smartest, the most acutely aware guy in the world. And perhaps the most delusional. But by then it all comes together as the beautiful most perfect delusion that brings laughter to all the world even though no one yet hears that laughter.
If a joke falls upon an empty brain, does anyone laugh?
Did this post annoy you, anger you, perplex you, or make you feel anything at all? What has been the most inappropriate moment of your life when you found something to be funny? Do you feel that posts like I have written here are a waste of time? Are you going to waste your time watching the Academy Awards?