Some people tend to annoy me. Maybe not always, but there are times when I get annoyed by certain people. I'm not sure if they are specifically going out of their way to annoy me or if it's just a matter of relational conflict or rivalry or maybe something else. I suppose I come across in a similar way to certain people.
My recent visit with my sisters in Tennessee seems to bear this out. I know they were peeved by some of my actions and I was certainly irritated with them at times. My brother doesn't usually annoy me, but still we come from a family of teasers and he has his moments. And don't get me wrong about this--I love my brothers and sisters dearly.
I tend to be a patient and forgiving person so I usually forget the annoyances rather quickly and rarely hold a grudge against people or stay angry for long. On the other hand I've known people who don't seem to let go of bad feelings and if they have it out for someone else they can get downright mean and rude at times.
People should try to work out misunderstandings and disagreements. The world is enough of a mess without any of us adding more ugliness to it all. The blogosphere is usually a pretty safe place where most people are either always nice or just avoid conflict. Yet sometimes we do see some annoying sides of bloggers flare up. I wish this weren't so, but then again I wish the world in general could be a nicer place.
I'll admit that sometimes I apparently come across as very annoying, especially to my sisters, but I guess it's all part of the family dynamics at play. I'm more careful with friends and acquaintances. If I come across as annoying to other bloggers then it's probably just a matter of the opinions I hold or the way I say things. I don't mean to be annoying if that's the perception that anyone ever has of me.
So what's your excuse--why are you annoying? Do you think you are annoying? Has anyone ever indicated to you that you annoyed them? Do you feel there is any merit or justification in annoying others, being opinionated in a harsh way, or holding lasting grudges? Do I ever annoy you and if so, in what way?
Coming this Saturday August 1st!
I don't want to think about how quickly time goes by. What a cliche! But I guess it's so commonly said because it's true for all of us and becomes truer the older we get. The fact remains that August is almost here and the first of that month will arrive this coming Saturday.
So why do I bring this up? Well, as most of you know by now it's because the first of the month means it's time for Battle of the Bands. This Saturday post will take the place of my Monday post which also means my Question of the Month post will come early and coincide with Battle of the Bands. Be here for both. I've got a kind of nutty Battle of the Bands match scheduled, but I like it. I hope you will like it too.
Lee, I don't have to make an effort to be annoying (so I'm told).
ReplyDeleteI think it comes naturally.
Yvonne.
Yvonne, when I met you I didn't find you to be annoying, but I know what you're saying. I think certain people just tend to clash and end up annoying each other.
DeleteLee
Ha ha Yvonne! Very amusing and not at all annoying. I believe there are some people who find me annoying, and I'm pretty sure I'm annoying to all my close peeps at one time or another, but then again I'm easily annoyed by times too. Oddly, the kids and adults that I work with (as a counselor ) never annoy me. I'm usually more annoyed by thoughtless behavior than teasing. Like the old guys that drive on the beach here. Grrr. Or littering. Double grrr. Thanks Lee, now I'm annoyed! I don't find you annoying. Do you drive on the beach?
ReplyDeleteJan, I rarely go near the beach let alone drive on it. The beach tends to annoy me. Sand! Ugh!
DeleteLee
I was more annoying when I was younger. That youthful attitude and all that. Most who meet me now would never use that word. Thankfully!
ReplyDeleteThere are people who just hold a grudge forever. It hurts them more than it hurts the person they are holding a grudge over. Such a shame. God calls us to forgive for a reason.
Alex, forgiveness is freedom.
DeleteLee
I hope I'm not annoying but everyone can be. :)
ReplyDeleteJoJo, I think we can all be annoying when we come up against the right (or is it the wrong?) people.
DeleteLee
Karen, I wonder if once annoying to someone, always annoying?
ReplyDeleteLee
I haven't had anyone tell me they thought I was annoying, but I'm sure I've been at times. It's just one of those ups and downs things. You try not to be, but sometimes it happens.
ReplyDeletePatricia, I don't think we notice that we are being annoying if we are so, but in reality we are probably only annoying to certain people and not annoying to others at all.
DeleteLee
I haven't heard a complaint since I stopped swing-singing - ha! But I'm sure I can annoy with the best of them, we all can. It's just nice that most of us don't mean anything by it. And you're right, "forgiveness is freedom", I like that! Nope, you've never annoyed me - and, aren't you supposed to annoy your siblings? :-)
ReplyDeleteDiedre, I think there is probably a rule somewhere that says siblings are supposed to annoy each other.
DeleteLee
Oh gosh I know I have annoyed people but such is life. I have yet to meet anyone who has not annoyed me or vice versa. I can annoy my hubby almost on a daily basis:) I can talk too much and I tend to tell a longer story than I need to. My ex used to say "Reader's Digest Version, Birgit". That annoyed me. I have annoyed my brother and he has annoyed me but we are brother and sister, if we can't annoy each other then what is the world all about? If people get all upset, don't let go of something, and don't communicate it in a positive manner, then it's their issue. Have a fun filled day!
ReplyDeleteBirgit, sometimes I enjoy a long story, but not if I need to get on with something. A long drawn out story when I'm in a hurry can be very frustrating and annoying.
DeleteLee
Annoying people, in general, I can be kind and then avoid. But relatives? In my own family, members would simply stop talking. In my husband's Irish family, no one stops talking. ever.
ReplyDeleteSusan, I'm not sure what's worse, the silent treatment or the endless never letting something go. Both can get pretty annoying.
DeleteLee
My new blog (Wed, 7/29) is for you, Stephen, Alex, Rick, and any other musician in the blog word. Hope you stop by.
DeleteThanks, Susan, that kid plays an amazing guitar.
DeleteLee
I don't think I've ever sensed you going out of your way to annoy anyone. For the most part, people who are annoying, are just people who find differences of opinion difficult to handle. Most of us an handle it and are not offended or feel others are annoying. But, you do ask if others go out of their way to be annoying, and it's true. Some people do that. I try to never do that. More often than not, I go out of my way to be as accommodating as possible.
ReplyDeleteJeffrey, I too try to be accommodating with most people, but in certain cases there are those who call for annoyance. I can't help myself with them.
DeleteLee
Trust me. I'm not saying I'm unfamiliar with sarcasm, and/or passive aggressiveness.
DeleteJeffrey, witty sarcasm with humorous intent is something that I can intellectually appreciate, but when it be.comes malicious or with intent to belittle someone then that is something I frown upon. Having fun is okay, but trying to hurt someone or bring them down in some mean way is not right.
DeleteLee
I do not make an effort to be annoying, Lee. In my case, it is a God-given talent! Years of practice has helped...
ReplyDeleteI think we all have that personality type that rubs us the wrong way no matter how accepting we are. It's tough when that personality exists in your circle.
May I suggest large quantities of alcohol?
Larry
Larry, I'm not sure about the alcohol. Some people get very annoying under the influence while others are more easily riled in an inebriated state.
DeleteLee
I don't think I'm annoying, except maybe to my cat...
ReplyDeleteI think everyone gets annoyed by their family members in some way.
Sarah, if anyone doesn't get annoyed by family members then I'd have to say they are a rare breed.
DeleteLee
I think it's human to get annoyed at people we spend a lot of time with. And we're probably less patient with family than we are mere acquaintances. I'm sure I annoy my children sometimes but I don't care. Now if they annoy me, they have something to be worried about. LOL
ReplyDeleteSusan Says
Susan GK, I agree with what you say. When we are around someone constantly we start seeing the various things that can be annoying and we sometimes try to chip away at each other. Usually we don't feel the need to impress family as much as people we don't know well so we avoid potentially confrontational situations.
DeleteLee
We so rarely see ourselves the way others see us, for good or bad. Many people might conduct themselves differently if they understood how other people (mis)interpreted things they honestly didn't think were rude or annoying.
ReplyDeleteI recently had to blacklist someone from commenting on my secondary blog, since every single comment she ever made was rude, blunt, and basically challenging my right to express and hold my own opinions on a name or a certain naming issue. This went well beyond constructive criticism or politely disagreeing, to the point where I knew when I saw her name, I knew the comment I was about to read would be negative.
Carrie-Anne, I think you make a very perceptive point. Often our annoying habits are something we don't even realize would be something that would bother others. In other cases people have developed in some unpleasant way due to upbringing, experiences, or whatever the case may be. I've known people who were just prone to negativity by their nature.
DeleteLee
I've known more annoying people. I've BEEN more annoying people.
ReplyDeleteCW, we've all probably done our share of annoying others.
DeleteLee
I almost never try to be annoying, but I do seem to have some innate skill for it.
ReplyDeleteAs to people who behave that way on purpose (or beyond just being annoying), there was a study released recently that went to why people engage that way online (specifically trolling), and there is some interesting psychology in it.
Andrew, all of us probably have some inborn talent of annoyance. I've been pondering some of the psychological factors that might be involved and I'm sure I could come up with several reasons why some people like to annoy others.
DeleteLee
Family can be more annoying with one another because there is an emotional investment and with many families a safe backup when you screw up.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, life is short. I am trying to not read politics, race, etc. Too much stress for some things I have no control.
Ann, life is as annoying as we want to make it and I guess some people relish in being annoying or annoyed.
DeleteLee
I annoy the hell out of my oxymorons (adult children). The Hurricane says, Mom, I know you think you're funny, but you're not.
ReplyDeleteThen why do people tell me I'm hilarious. Is it the clown nose on my face?
Love,
Janie
I didn't answer your question: Do I make an effort to be annoying? I have to say yes because all I need to do is open my mouth to say something such as "Look at that cool bicycle" or "I'm hungry," and my kids are annoyed. If I stopped speaking, maybe I wouldn't be so annoying. I need to stop writing, too. They hate my blog.
DeleteJanie, your kids hate your blog?! That's annoying! But I guess it's normal for kids to be annoyed by their parents.
DeleteLee
It is absolutely possible to find someone annoying and still love that person. I hear you on that one.
ReplyDeleteI'm not an expert on annoying people, but just from my experiences with people who sometimes get on my nerves, I find that these people often put themselves at the center of the universe and they seem to believe that only their opinions and feelings matter. I think that could be a possible source of what makes them annoying,
Cynthia, I think you are very correct about the center of the universe thing. There is usually little one can do to reason with such a person when they adamantly cling to whatever it is they are clinging to.
DeleteLee
I am sure everyone can be annoying at times. With friends and family it is best to work those things out.
ReplyDeleteMike, I'm always in favor of working things out with people. It's uncomfortable to carry hard feelings especially if you see someone often or have a relationship with others in their circle. Life's too short to harbor grudges.
DeleteLee
I try to avoid annoying people. Annoying is the reason I broke off my last relationship. That guy started getting on my nerves so bad! It went from being fun 90% of the time and irritating 10% of the time to irritating 90% of the time and only 10% fun. That's when I was done. I don't like being annoyed because it messes with my peace of mind. I like harmony.
ReplyDeleteI don't find you annoying Lee. Hopefully you wouldn't find me annoying either. I'm pretty easy going and laughter is of highest importance to me. Being annoyed is no fun! I have experienced people who make an art out of being annoying and some seem to downright thrive on it. Those are people I don't hang out with...
Michele at Angels Bark
I'm with you on this, Michele. Why subject oneself needlessly to annoyances? Better to find good people with whom to associate.
DeleteLee
I think we're all annoying from time to time. I try my best to not annoy folks-- but I guess we do end up annoying family. They love us despite that-- that's why they're family.
ReplyDeleteI've never found you annoying, Lee, quite the opposite. And I agree, we need to make an effort and be peaceable-- the world is going to the dogs around us, and we should do our bit to keep it harmonious.
Thank you for the encouragement, Damy, I try to be diplomatic as a blogger even when I say things that I know some will disagree with. As to family, the spats can occur, but hopefully we all move on and keep on caring about each other.
DeleteLee
Great post Arlee thank you! Carrie-Anne's comment was perceptive as you say - we don't see ourselves as others do. I'm sure I annoy the hell out of some people but they're too polite to say. I've been called 'bossy' - who? Me? Never .. but being bossy can be pretty annoying. Some people get on my nerves, then I strive for patience. Especially with family - No, you've never annoyed me Arlee ...
ReplyDeleteSusan S., sometimes then our intention is to be helpful we might come across as annoying, but then again some people don't appreciate being offered help or advice. Patience is so importance in maintaining good relationships.
DeleteLee
I try to be myself while not being annoying, but despite that, it just sometimes happens. The same way people sometimes annoy me without meaning to. I think it's part of being human.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I find there's a current tendency for people to be annoyed and offended at every little thing ever. Those I just ignore, because it's a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Misha, I think you're right--much of society has become mighty touchy and you never know when you might set someone off.
DeleteLee
I think annoying, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. I've been accused of being annoying when I don't do what someone else thinks I should. There also has to be a special category for family members. We tend to push each others' buttons because of shared history and old baggage. My two sisters are about to visit me for two weeks, so let's see how it goes!
ReplyDeleteNadine, I think you nailed it pretty well.
DeleteLee
Everyone has their own definition of annoying, so, who's to say? ☺
ReplyDeleteYou have never annoyed me, Lee and I hope that goes both ways. Some people just don't know when to let go and move on. To them I say: "Pick your battles. Life is short".Personality conflicts are a fact of life, but how big you make them is up to you. Famous author Wayne Dyer once said: "What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is to be independent of the opinions of other people." There's wisdom in that.
Looking forward to your BOTB!
Debbie, I guess I get somewhat disappointed when those who are closest to me and who I care most about seem to get annoyed and upset with me. So far I've always managed to clear things up with my family members and I hope that remains so. It's sad when a rift occurs between family members.
DeleteLee
It's true, the people closest to us always have the capacity to hurt us the most. Glad you've been able to make peace within your family. I don't have close family ties and feel that's a detriment.
DeleteFor me family is the greatest of all relationships. I think there is a justified obligation to remain connected and try to do it as peaceably as possible.
DeleteLee
Annoying? You? I doubt it. The thing is people mistake being outspoken as being annoying. Well, that can't be helped, now can it? On the other hand, it's always good to be diplomatic, especially when dealing with acquaintances and bloggers. People are super touchy these days and the slightest thing can provoke a maelstorm of discontent. That is probably one reason I steer clear of religion, politics and social issues on my blog. I admire those who can take up those topics and do justice to them without succumbing to the trolls of the Internet. Me? I am happy and am content to let others be happy too.
ReplyDeleteShailaja, thank you for your vote of confidence in me. I think it's sad that more people can't talk about religion, politics, and social issues as those are the areas where the most strife occurs due to lack of understanding and the stubborn clinging to ones own views without learning about others. These are the main issues of thinking life and the source of the most conflict. Too bad we can't peacefully discuss such things and accept that there might be some disagreement. I want others to be happy, but I don't want to sacrifice my own values to allow that either.
DeleteLee
I try my best not to be annoying, at least to those who matter to me. If I discover a trait that annoys someone, I'll put forth effort to change it, if I see it as being a positive change, and not just something the other sees as a flaw. I'm all for bettering myself.
ReplyDeleteI don't get annoyed often. My bff says I'm a very gracious person. Stuff that sends her snapping doesn't faze me in the least. The times I get really annoyed are the times when I get unsolicited "advice" (delivered like they were orders) from someone who hasn't earned the right to give it. Those people usually earn a glare from me.
Loni, there is that thing that we often refer to as chemistry that helps us mesh with certain people and react with volatility with others. Keeping it in check is an art I think. I'm not good with the unsolicited advice from the wrong places either, but it depends on how it's given.
DeleteLee
I think it depends on who you ask. My son gets highly annoyed when I place his To Do List on the refrigerator. My other son would probably say, when I ask more than once when he's going to cut the grass. And my husband, he'd probably say only when she's awake. :) See for some of us it comes naturally. Online, I doubt anyone would take the time to tell me one way or the other, they'd just ignore me. If I find something or someone that annoys me, I go elsewhere, avoid, etc. It's just easier.
ReplyDeleteYolanda, the closeness of individuals can have a lot to do with the annoyance factor. Online relationships are typically for only short periods and not close enough to create annoyance, but still it does happen in some cases.
DeleteLee
Being annoying is more than a gift. It's an obligation. And I can fulfill that role well and do so because it's my duty to those close to me like my wife.
ReplyDeleteWe usually annoy most those whom we love most.
DeleteLee
I know that I annoy some people, but I never go out of my way to, not do I do it deliberately. Some people annoy me like crazy, but I try to be patient and tolerant. Warm greetings from Montreal, Canada. :)
ReplyDeleteLinda, I think that most annoying behavior is not intended.
DeleteLee
Only at work do I go out of my way to be annoying. The state agency that I work for has a culture of entitlement so deeply entrenched that it would take a decades worth of digging with multiple backhoes and explosives to get rid of.
ReplyDeleteSuffice to say, this place brings out the absolute worst in me and people who I do payroll for know this, and for the most part, they don't try to irritate me. There are so who do, and I've had some legendary battles with supervisors over this and things will be coming to a head real soon.
In the real world, I become an extremely normal, almost brain dead kind of guy that gets along with everyone.
Father Nature's Corner
GB, a lot of governmental workers truly annoy me. It's like they look for annoying people or give them special training to be so.
DeleteLee