The Boy Who Refused to Sing

           "Sing, Lee," Mrs. Toomb pleaded with exasperation on her face.  If I had continued to look at her, I might have seen a sad disappointment in her eyes.   But I did not look.  Instead I looked back down to the notebook where I had been scrawling cartoon-like drawings.

             And so it went for a while, until eventually she no longer paid attention to me.  While the joyous sounds of the eighth grade choir raised voices in song, I sat there reading, writing, or just wishing I weren't there.  I figured I had fulfilled my part of the deal, now she had to give me the good grade that I was expecting just for being in the class.

           All seventh graders were required to take a general music class.  Mrs. Toomb took an immediate liking to me when she discovered that I played violin and I participated in one of her choir programs.  Later that year one of my musical compositions was featured in a musical Mrs. Toomb produced with the combined efforts of her classes.  In the same program my next door neighbor and I presented a juggling act.  I became almost like the proverbial teacher's pet.

             At the end of that school year she convinced me to take choir as an elective class the following year.  Somehow I got the impression that as long as I was in the class I was guaranteed an easy A grade.  What I didn't realize was that I was going to be expected to sing.   As far as I was concerned I was not going to sing.  I stubbornly stuck to that throughout the entire year.

            Looking back, I'm not sure why I was so stubborn at times when I was younger.  Sometimes I would just adamantly refuse to do something if I didn't want to do it.   I was goth before there was goth.  It was early mid-sixties and I was typically dressed in black pants and black turtleneck.  I was often absorbed in reading or writing.  I did what I wanted to do and singing was not on my list.  Or so I tried to convince myself.

         The truth is that I was just afraid to let anyone hear me sing.  I loved singing then and I like to sing now.  Mrs. Toomb gave me my A for the first grading period, but thereafter she gave me Cs.  I guess she figured that she had talked me into choir and didn't want to fail me like I deserved.  I decided not to sign up for ninth grade choir class.

          Not long after that I began writing many songs.  I would often hide myself away in my bedroom quietly singing the songs I was writing.  As the years went by, I would occasionally make crude recordings of some of my songs.   At gatherings with some of my musician friends I would sometimes add vocal harmonies in our jam sessions together.

         When I was in my forties I began singing in the church choir.  A few times I sang solo parts in choral presentations.  On a few occasions I even performed duets with a friend before the entire congregation.  I was nervous, but it was an exhilarating experience to sing before an audience.   I couldn't help but think of my old eighth grade choir teacher.   Sorry, Mrs. Toomb, but you knew what I needed and I just didn't recognize it at the time.

My First Publicly Performed Song

            Shortly after my family moved to Crown Point, Indiana in the fall of 1963, my talent of violin playing became noticed by Mrs. Toomb, the choir teacher at Merrillville Junior High School.  Apparently some sort of music appreciation class or something like that was required for seventh graders and since she was the teacher, that's how I ended up in her class.  Mrs. Toomb took a liking to me that year primarily due to my violin playing.

             During that year, through the collective efforts of our class and some of the other music classes taught by Mrs. Toomb, we put together a musical production called Colora.   I don't really remember the exact story of Colora, but it was a sort of fairy tale which had something to do with making the sad king smile.  In this kingdom everyone was identified by a particular color or color scheme.   A member or members of each color group had to present their talent in a skit or musical number in order to attempt to make the king smile. 

             Mrs. Toomb requested that anyone who was able to write music and wanted to participate could submit an original song or piece of music to be considered for the musical production which would be presented to the public.  Also, she asked for students to try out their talents to be a part of the production.  I had a talent to present and a song to offer.

            Since I had already played violin in a choral production earlier in the school year, I offered up my talent of juggling.  My next door neighbor, Gordon, had learned to juggle from my sister and me, and he and I auditioned a simple juggling routine.  No one else offered the talent of juggling, so Gordon and I were readily chosen to be in the production.  We were designated as the Plaid Lads and the color scheme of our costumes would be shades of green, blue, and red in a plaid pattern.  We decided to juggle brightly colored wooden croquet balls--a somewhat hazardous choice of juggling props!

          The song I submitted was an instrumental which may have been influenced by a movement of a Haydn symphony, but was originally a song I made up to taunt my sister with the ignoble lyrics: "With her pants pulled down, with her pants pulled down, she goes around with her pants pulled down." Needless to say I submitted the song sans lyrics.  It was turned into a jaunty accordion duet that was to be played by two young men whose color theme was crimson.

          The Colora production was well received by all in its two performances.  I don't really remember much of the music except for my little ditty and the opening strains of the theme song that started out, "Over the rainbow--Colora".  There were probably about twenty songs in all, each sung by soloists, ensembles, and the choir or played instrumentally or as backing for dance routines.  And of course there was Gordon and I as the juggling Plaid Lads.

           Afterwards, Mrs. Toomb was so excited by the musical that she attempted to get someone interested in having it published and presented as a professional production.  I don't know what happened with her efforts--we never heard anything about it after that.  But I think it was quite an entertaining production with some fine songs.  It was the first time one of my compositions was performed by other artists on stage before an audience.  Too bad they didn't have video cameras back then.  It would have been nice to have had that memory other than only in my mind.