tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post817077138014245392..comments2024-03-28T02:15:06.910-07:00Comments on Tossing It Out: Is It Too Easy To Have Kids?Arlee Birdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11663942782929929334noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-371325035362014742013-03-09T15:14:57.655-08:002013-03-09T15:14:57.655-08:00How funny, my husband and I have had similar discu...How funny, my husband and I have had similar discussions, and our solutions were pretty much the same as yours. I actually feel very strongly supportive of those solutions, especially the last one (forced sterilization of repeated offenders; they don't need to procreate!).Tammy R https://www.blogger.com/profile/05230691058296542682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-82137196971635452262013-03-05T16:21:13.178-08:002013-03-05T16:21:13.178-08:00Don't like the idea of forced anything, but in...Don't like the idea of forced anything, but in this case there's a good point here to consider. <br />Silvia (from A to Z Challenge)Silvia Writeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14437144517262211712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-63788338420341476432013-03-05T14:15:32.907-08:002013-03-05T14:15:32.907-08:00Karen -- Not to a good place I'm sure.
Julie ...Karen -- Not to a good place I'm sure.<br /><br />Julie -- Encouraging families who can afford it to have kids makes sense for the sustainability of the productive portion of society, but the hangers on need to be discouraged from adding to the lower strata of society.<br /><br />Lee<br />Arlee Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663942782929929334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-87118507900282816692013-03-05T12:25:10.275-08:002013-03-05T12:25:10.275-08:00I think there is something else to consider. Our ...I think there is something else to consider. Our government needs to get out of implementing social policy, encouraging people to marry and have kids with tax breaks. I think we need to engage in ending the pressure on people to marry and have kids as the only accepted course of a life. I think people need to really consider why they want children and if they would make good parents. It shouldn't be for selfish reasons, fulfilling an empty picture of what a life is supposed to look like, what the movies say and the families say. And for those who recommend cutting the handouts, I just say that it is proven that children born in poverty, who are hungry in their first few years of life, can suffer developmental delays that can be permanent. Starvation of children in America isn't the answer to make the world safer and children less prone to violence.Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04225611074151575663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-18926893022215173892013-03-05T11:54:23.051-08:002013-03-05T11:54:23.051-08:00Good post, Lee. I think people (some, anyway) fail...Good post, Lee. I think people (some, anyway) fail to see the big picture and where this all takes us when irresponsibility is so prevalent. Karen Langehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18177923284595298347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-47393718631150923712013-03-05T09:43:47.918-08:002013-03-05T09:43:47.918-08:00Jasmine -- Strengthening family in every way is im...Jasmine -- Strengthening family in every way is important. It starts with the individuals and extends to the relationships. Everyone one of us deserves to feel loved and wanted and this is most importantly true with the children who are brought into this ofttimes crazy world.<br /><br />Lee<br />Arlee Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663942782929929334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-24977606008512828002013-03-05T00:16:12.425-08:002013-03-05T00:16:12.425-08:00I always say that my husband and I have spent more...I always say that my husband and I have spent more time thinking about the ramifications of not having kids than most people spend thinking about having kids.<br />My one piece of advice is to go back to strengthening and supporting marriage in society. Without it, we are all lost; I am just certain. <br />As a kid who grew up without a father and a crazy as hell mother I know just how bad it is to have kids living with parents that should never have had them. <br />And yet I value life above all and would never tell anyone to dispose of their children for any reason. We need kids as part of healthy relationships that are intentional, not just feel good fun times for a couple of irresponsible adults. <br />I always pray that all kids end up loved and wanted, even if they didn't come into the world that way.'Yellow Rose' Jasminehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12496382898548158316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-26633801084200103632013-03-04T21:25:10.090-08:002013-03-04T21:25:10.090-08:00Faraway -- You're a step ahead of me and I pla...Faraway -- You're a step ahead of me and I plan to catch up before I run through all the usual excuses. I think the solution you suggest is the best one.<br /><br />Chuck -- Sad, but the biggest losers are the children. But all of society loses something in this mess that we have on our hands.<br /><br />Munir -- The guns are mere inanimate objects. It takes a misguided mind to abuse the power of the gun and unfortunately we are producing way too many misguided minds.<br /><br />StMc -- You are correct about the vast scope of this topic. One could probably devote a blog to this topic alone or at least many, many posts. You've addressed a couple of very important issues in your excellent comment. Many more factors and many variations of each theme. Too much for me to cover considering there are books on the subject.<br /><br />JoJo -- In a way the idea of forced contraception sounds almost as scary and controlling as forced sterilization. Isn't there still a big something missing if things came to this?<br /><br />Lee<br /><br /><br />Arlee Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663942782929929334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-30081714705666707282013-03-04T20:18:45.932-08:002013-03-04T20:18:45.932-08:00I think the future will necessitate enforced contr...I think the future will necessitate enforced contraception which can be removed when the situation warrants it. Still a pipe dream, but I think it will happen.<br /><br /><a href="http://henderson-jo.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">JO ON FOOD, MY TRAVELS AND A SCENT OF CHOCOLATE</a>Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14087140585742801854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-79308370639373412802013-03-04T18:40:35.857-08:002013-03-04T18:40:35.857-08:00ARLEE BOID ~
There are so many different factors c...ARLEE BOID ~<br />There are so many different factors contributing to this problem and there is just TOO MUCH I could write in responding to this post, so I'm going to focus on just one point.<br /><br />The 'Free Love' / 'Sexual Revolution' attitude of the Sixties certainly played a big part in what's occurring today. <br /><br />Then there are some widely accepted myths that are not what most Americans have been led to believe.<br /><br />It takes a lot of serious sociology studying to untangle the story, and I'm not going to try to rewrite, here in a comment section, some of the books I've read that pertain to this topic. So the following will have to do for now: <br /><br /><i>>> . . . I don't have any statistics to back up my claim, but I'd say it's a good bet that many perpetrators of violent activity come from backgrounds where poor parenting was to blame in a big way.</i><br /><br />From 'IS GOD ON AMERICA'S SIDE?' (2008), by Erwin Lutzer:<br /><br /><b>Incredibly, one in every one hundred adult Americans is now in prison - that makes 2.3 million adults behind bars. Michael Singletary, retired Hall of Fame linebacker for the Chicago Bears, gives his testimony in prisons. He says he asks prisoners, "How many of you had a warm relationship with your father?" He recently reported that he is still waiting for the first hand to be raised.</b><br /><br />Now that's something to really think about! (Odd how the media and entertainment sources and social engineers have led us to conclude that fathers really aren't a particularly important part in the raising of children.) <br /><br /><i>>> . . . Sex education classes can help prevent unwanted pregnancies, but obviously they've not overly effective.</i><br /><br />That's only one of the myths I alluded to above. It can be shown that in fact Sex Education Classes have actually had the REVERSE effect on unwanted pregnancies.<br /><br />However, I said I would only address ONE of the contributing factors in my comment, and I've already done that.<br /><br />~ D-FensDogg<br />'Loyal American Underground'Stephen T. McCarthyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00249125637725791567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-66736730966505316132013-03-04T18:05:18.079-08:002013-03-04T18:05:18.079-08:00Yes it is too easy to have kids for majority of th...Yes it is too easy to have kids for majority of the couples. There are yet some very intelligent and responsible people who are striving to have kids and may be lucky enough to have one. I understand your point about making sure that you do not neglect your kids to the extent of ignoring their mental health issues, still if guns are not just lying around, it would have saved a lot of pain and a lot of innocent lives.MunirGhiasuddinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05232362559666320301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-46051721708607957852013-03-04T17:10:51.131-08:002013-03-04T17:10:51.131-08:00Lee...this may be a more volatile subject than the...Lee...this may be a more volatile subject than the gun laws. The problem is so diverse.<br /><br />Kids having kids. When 14, 15 and 16 year olds are having children, that's a big roll of the dice. All sorts of ramifications could come into play not the least of which is sexual abuse.<br /><br />The other end of the spectrum are people like the octomom...have kids for the publicity. <br /><br />Again this is a very intense subject and the losers are the children.Chuckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13676928110297819368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-55833519580990470912013-03-04T15:52:00.976-08:002013-03-04T15:52:00.976-08:00Valid questions with no easy answers.
Personally,...Valid questions with no easy answers.<br /><br />Personally, I believe, just as I have with your questions about marriage and divorce the only way to solve this one is to invite, as an honored guest, God back into our families. He wrote the manual on child rearing and relationships of every kind. He has the answers. All we have to do is ask.<br /><br />Anger issues and violent behavior? Well, their are always going to be rebellious souls no matter how well they were or were not treated throughout their lives, but once again God is the answer.<br /><br />I'm sure someone is going to say that's a pretty simplistic view of things, but it's my opinion that it is that simple, at least to start.farawayeyeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17578277501054242356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-20008685653743142622013-03-04T15:22:29.702-08:002013-03-04T15:22:29.702-08:00Susan -- For many parents their children can do no...Susan -- For many parents their children can do no wrong until it's too late and then it's not the fault of the parents. We have a problem with accountability in our society.<br /><br />Lee<br />Arlee Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663942782929929334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-68508549415999707872013-03-04T15:20:56.102-08:002013-03-04T15:20:56.102-08:00Larry -- If society can condone abortion and birth...Larry -- If society can condone abortion and birth control how far off base is sterilization of irresponsible breeders? You make a good point that much of this support might be better off provided by charities, families, and other volunteer means. The government has screwed up societal structure in enough ways. Not only has government support made unplanned pregnancy less of a hardship, they've provided some incentive for certain people to procreate at our expense.<br /><br />SK -- Indeed, there is plenty of blame to go around, but not many willing to accept that blame.<br /><br />Lee<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Arlee Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663942782929929334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-40973580855208466262013-03-04T15:15:31.392-08:002013-03-04T15:15:31.392-08:00The rate of teenage unplanned pregnancy dropped a ...The rate of teenage unplanned pregnancy dropped a lot in the 90's and early 2000's. It will be interesting to see where that goes as school cut health programs because of budgets. <br />As a teacher, I see a horribly large number of parents who take no responsibility for their children's behavior or problems. Parents must be forced to face the consequences of what they've let their children grow into.Susan Gourley/Kelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02669793865290876168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-66602577317533535662013-03-04T15:01:34.144-08:002013-03-04T15:01:34.144-08:00Blame the parents by all means, they have a lot to...Blame the parents by all means, they have a lot to do with it - many are failing. But save some blame for Hollywood, with their offerings of endless violence, Sony and the other gaming companies for the same reason and the relatively new concept of childrens' rights when confronted by the law. Finally, save some blame for the school system that propagates and tolerates (and promotes by default) unacceptable behaviour both from the teachers and the pupils.S.K. Renaithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16615513559054838993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-78838926900759516352013-03-04T14:45:48.473-08:002013-03-04T14:45:48.473-08:00Lee-
While I sometimes make jokes about sterilizi...Lee-<br /><br />While I sometimes make jokes about sterilizing stupid people (usually in traffic), let's keep in mind that that practice was last tried in the Disney-like environs of Germany in the 1930's.<br /><br />Yes, it's easy to have kids, but that's the way God wanted it, and no, we can't sterilize reoeat offenders.<br /><br />But also remember, it has only been the last 75 years where the burden was put on the taxpayers to raise all of these children.<br /><br />Before that, it was a volunteer effort...and I believe it worked better.<br /><br />We will never eradicate poverty or unplanned pregnancies. But with the government safety net, unplanned pregnancy has become less of a hardship, and so, less a thing to be avoided.<br /><br />Like many of the social programs...there may have been good intention but it simply was not thought through.<br /><br />I could go on and on...but the truth is, a majority of Americans want the government to direct their lives, so what's the point.<br /><br />George Orwell just had the year wrong.<br /><br />LarryDiscConnectedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07013919800637508392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-70881787664344520382013-03-04T12:38:14.112-08:002013-03-04T12:38:14.112-08:00Nancy -- Yeah, but Darwin's theory as I unders...Nancy -- Yeah, but Darwin's theory as I understand it is only the fittest survive. It's not heartlessness but just an outcome of the law of the jungle. Humans should be several steps above animals. Also, what about the element of love, responsibility, and planning for a future?<br /><br />Lee<br />Arlee Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663942782929929334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-45555184766077335012013-03-04T12:34:33.963-08:002013-03-04T12:34:33.963-08:00Andrew -- Besides the devaluation of kids I think ...Andrew -- Besides the devaluation of kids I think we also have an issue of people projecting themselves into creating kids in their own image. We have parents and government deciding what's best for kids from their viewpoint and not letting kids really be kids as kids should be. Kids are learning too early, taking on certain attributes of adulthood, and not being allowed to just be silly kids on a road to discovering certain things on their own and deciding their own course in life as they grow older. Kindergarten has become a college prep class and the stress of being a schoolkid continues from there.<br /><br />Tim -- But it would probably be a good guess that most of the youth and adults with really big problems come from a problematic background. Enforcement is a tough call because that would entail getting government involved which doesn't sound like a good idea. Forced sterilization is a scary thought, but I've seen more than a few "parents" who should not have any more children and yet they continue to add to the woes of the world and their children frequently perpetuate the problem. So do we let everybody keep producing offspring whether they plan to raise them properly or not? How do we stop the madness of a unruly class that burdens society and often contributes to criminal behavior? I'm trying to discover answers.<br /><br />Julie -- Parents have a responsibility for the children that they bring into this world, but what if they refuse to accept that responsibility? You and I know what parents need to do, but apparently a lot of parents don't care and what can we do about that?<br /><br />Lee<br />Arlee Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663942782929929334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-37803244781501408402013-03-04T12:34:06.466-08:002013-03-04T12:34:06.466-08:00I agree with some of what you said. I do think to...I agree with some of what you said. I do think too many people have children they are ill-prepared to take care of and society suffers as a whole because of it. Darwin's theory sounds good at times, but that would be heartless, wouldn't it? Hmm...Nancy Thompsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05735642863696266005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-74249363005585058832013-03-04T11:50:19.661-08:002013-03-04T11:50:19.661-08:00Parents definitely need to take more responsibilit...Parents definitely need to take more responsibility for their children from a very young age, and continue to nurture them throughout their lives. I agree that angry children become angrier adults.<br /><br />JulieEmpty Nest Insiderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10074223969046687064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-46736995450449352052013-03-04T11:30:44.548-08:002013-03-04T11:30:44.548-08:00It's not a silly question.
It took my wife an...It's not a silly question.<br /><br />It took my wife and I 5 years, several thousands of dollars, countless failed attempts and one heart wrenching loss to have kids.<br /><br />This is weak connection if ever I saw one. Sure under-attended children can get into trouble, but there are still 1,000s that don't. There are still plenty of criminals out there that came from "good backgrounds".<br /><br />What exactly do you propose this "enforcement" entail? <br /><br /><i>Forced sterilization?</i> WTF? Seriously? That, to put it bluntly, is bat-shit insane. I will not support any government that supports this. The ability to have or not have children is one of very, very few fundamental choices we have as a species. Remove that and your reduce us all to little more than cattle. <br /><br />No. <br /><br />I can not agree with a single thing you have said here.Timothy S. Brannanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02923526503305233715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-69071350891731407212013-03-04T11:11:30.399-08:002013-03-04T11:11:30.399-08:00Yeah, I get all of that. What I'm saying, thou...Yeah, I get all of that. What I'm saying, though, is that when you start with a society that devalues kids and, then, move on to the single parent issue, it just gets worse. The compounding issue, the thing that is making this such an issue -now-, is our society's anti-child views.Andrew Leonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964775673414653644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-149224757183756660.post-19437080928594659832013-03-04T11:05:47.984-08:002013-03-04T11:05:47.984-08:00Andrew -- You make a good point. There are a lot o...Andrew -- You make a good point. There are a lot of self-centered attitudes of pleasure and getting ahead that excludes kids or makes their presence a nuisance. I do think the real anger comes from the kids who feel not wanted in their home environments. I don't know that they give a padoodle about things like restaurants or whatever--that's more of a hassle for the parents. I know--I've been there. But you can look at soccer fields on a Saturday or anyplace where kids are welcomed and see plenty of parents who care about there kids and are showing them some care. I'm concerned about kids left to run wild and get their upbringing from the wrong sources or the ones who have homes where the resources are great, but the love is not very evident. You can give a kid all the material possessions in the world, but if that kid doesn't feel loved, wanted, and valued as a human being I think that kid's gonna feel some anger and alienation from society. There's your candidate for violent anti-social behavior. The look-at-me-everybody act that gives the kid the attention he's been wanting. <br /><br />Yes, it's always been easy to have kids, but I think there's a big lack in discipline and family values. <br /><br />Lee<br />Arlee Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11663942782929929334noreply@blogger.com