The Manhattan Project--2016 A to Z Theme

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Monday, March 4, 2013

Is It Too Easy To Have Kids?

Funny Children Safety Sign
Funny Children Safety Sign (Photo credits:
        Shortly after the Sandy Hook school shooting, the furor arose to ban guns or, at the very least, assault weapons.  In my post Should We Ban (Insert Topic Here), I suggested that before the nation takes an overly reactionary response in attacking the Second Amendment rights laid out by the founding fathers of the United States, we might want to consider some other things that could be contributing factors to violent incidents such as happened in places like Newtown, CT and some of the other incidents of violence.   Today I continue with my exploration of this topic.

Is It Too Easy To Have Kids?

         What a silly question!  Of course it's too easy.  Kids are often the by-product of doing what feels good or trying to fulfill another persons desires in order to please them.  It can be difficult to argue with passions and when one thing happens then other things may be the result--kids.  In some cases people are ready to accept the consequences of their actions and turn out to be decent parents.  In many other cases the outcome is not so good.

       Sex education classes can help prevent unwanted pregnancies. but obviously they've not overly effective.  Child-rearing classes also provide some decent information, but not every young parent is ready to face the reality if the event actually happens to them.  Abortion or adoption are options but who is the one opting for this really most concerned about?   Unexpected pregnancy for unwed mothers is rarely good news for those who are not ready or willing to take on the responsibility.

        There  are certainly many who find themselves taken by surprise with becoming a parent, making the best of the situation to do the right thing and become decent parents.   However there are also far too many who become very bad parents or merely bring children into the world to mostly fend for themselves or become the victims of bad parenting.

         So what's the connection with violence whether by guns or some other means?    Anger.   Unwanted children who are unsupervised and raised in chaotic surroundings are more often than not going to become angry young adults with bad attitudes.  

         Most violence is not the hyper-sensationalized events like Sandy Hook or Aurora, but that which occurs on the urban streets and in presumably peaceful suburbs of the U.S.   I don't have any statistics to back up my claim, but I'd say it's a good bet that many perpetrators of violent activity come from backgrounds where poor parenting was to blame in a big way.

        Is there an easy answer to all of this?   I can think of an answer that is obvious to me and some of you, but perhaps not so easy to accomplish.    I won't name this solution until my last installment in this series, but many of you know already.

        Instead, I'll toss out a few ideas that you can respond to or you can suggest some of your own.   What about:
  • More enforcement on the Dads--this is being done to some extent, but maybe we need to get tougher.
  • Better supervised support of the unwed mothers with less enabling handouts and more stringent accountability for future actions.
  • Get parents of the new parents more involved and make them more responsible for what their kids are doing.
  • Forced sterilization of repeat offenders male and female who are bringing more taxpayer supported angry children into the world.
        What do you think is the solution here?   Do you think there is a problem?    Do you think the anger and hurt instilled into unwanted offspring can often result in violent behavior?


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  1. "Too easy to have kids" - hah! What a silly bunch of words to put together in the wrong order.

  2. Oh Lee there is so much that I could say on this topic but I really don't want all your commenters later to have to read through what essentially is a rant. The amount of teenagers falling pregnant and having children when they themselves are still essentially children is something that seriously annoys and angers me, even in my own country. I just think it's the ultimate selfish to have a child that you can't afford and even more infuriating are those that have like two children before even the age of 19. It's just putting your children into a world that they're quite honestly not ready for and I think it's one of the main problems with the society that we currently live in and it makes me sad. Great thought provoking post anyway Lee, unfortunately I don't see any solution that isn't imposing and against human rights so I doubt anything will really change.

  3. Less enabling handouts. Couldn't agree more with that one.

  4. i wanted one kid, sadly the cards were not on my side... i saved all my toys to give them down too. want to buy some toys, some sealed in their original packages.

  5. I fully agree with your point that childhood shapes a person and that unwanted or neglected children would be statistically more likely - although, I stress that it isn't a certainty - to turn to violence.

    In response to your points:-

    I agree that both parents should take equal responsibility for children. On the same lines, both maternity and paternity leave should be equal length of time.

    Some couples choose not to get married, possibly because of their beliefs. Despite this they may be happy, willing and able to raise children in a perfectly safe and secure environment. Should they be allowed children out of wedlock? I would argue, yes.

    Getting grandparents involved is almost certainly going to improve childcare. Putting this into law would be an issue for people whose parents are unable to take care of children. Perhaps - for example - they have passed away or have been put into jail.

    Forced sterilisation is certainly the most controversial. That said, I have to say I'd agree. If you give someone enough warning then I don't see any issue whatsoever.

    Finally, I'm looking forward to your solution on the last installment of your series.

    wizzardSS - Empire's 5-star 500

  6. Ugh. I don't know the solution but I certainly know the consequence of absentee parenting. I don't know how you can force parents to do the responsible thing. I wish CPS (Child Protective Services) would have the funding and the nerve to do a lot more to assist children. In my work as a school counselor, I make CPS reports on a fairly regular basis but, unless there are physical bruises, very little happens. There are kids who tell me the saddest stories of emotional neglect or abuse but, because they have food and a place to live, CPS says they don't meet the criteria for CPS intervention. INcreased funding and more power for CPS might be one way to help these kids.
    There are more and more grandparents stepping up to take care of their grandchildren but often they do not have the energy or the resources to turn a kid's early life around. I would not be in favor of ever requiring grandparents to take on grandchildren.
    Although it might seem draconian, having a much stronger foster care system where children can be cared for is a possible solution. In the greater community here we have a place called the Children's Village. It houses 24 children between the ages of 6 and 18. There are six houses in the village and each house has paid "house parents". It is funding with gov;t funds as well as private donations. I hear nothing but good stuff about this arrangement. I bet it is better for kids than living in a place where the parent does not want / is not capable of being a parent.

  7. Once someone pointed out to me that in order to drive a car you needed to go through a test and get a license but in order to have a kid you didn't even need to prove you've got a brain. That comment made me think a lot.

  8. Hahahaha, sounds like excerpts from my book.
    And to answer your questions, 'yes' it's far too easy to have kids...
    (Daniel Alexander from Triberr)

  9. I think that part of the problem is that sex education classes DO NOT teach that the purpose of sex is making babies. They teach that babies are just an unwanted side effect of having sex and here are a bunch of ways you can avoid that. Except that biologically speaking, this is a bold faced lie and at best the preventative methods taught only work most of the time. There is only one 100% effective method to not have kids: Don't have sex. But no one teaches that. We're lying to our kids and teenagers about sex and babies and then wondering where it's all going wrong.

  10. esb-- I know it sounds silly, but the ultimate outcome we often see is not very funny.

    Yeamie -- Maybe there are many issues out there that will require stepping on human rights. Perhaps those rights should apply to more than just an individual or certain groups and what they believe.

    Alex -- There are many out there who just figure they don't have to be responsible for anything.

    Jeremy -- There is a great ironic tragedy in what you say. I've known so many couples who would have been able to be very good parents but have been unable to have children, while other people who could care less about their kids popping them out like it was nothing. Cruel irony for us all in the end and the cycle is perpetuated.

    Wizz -- The most controversial measures like sterilization cause the most uproar. When I get to my final solution in a few weeks I think I'll have a lot of contention in certain quarters.

    Gracie -- Great comment, but sad news. The foster care system has many problems right now and I'm not all that in favor of children becoming wards of the state, but that may be the most practical solution. I hope many improvements are made.


  11. I was a foster parent for four years, so don't even get me started. They say their motto is permanent placement within a year, but it's actually reunification at any cost. We saw so many kids go back into bad situations. Which means those kids got screwed up even further. And then they often go on to have screwed up kids. It just keeps feeding itself.

  12. Less enabling handouts. Yes. I worked with an emergency housing program for a short time and I was stunned to learn that teenage girls living with a family on welfare saw pregnancy as a quick and easy means for getting the state to give them an apartment of their own.

  13. The world definitely has this problem. My solution so far has been to go child-free. I don't think I can take such a big responsibility, so I haven't.

  14. Forced sterilization makes me pretty uneasy. What would be the criteria? And would constitute "angry." It easy to have kids for some people. But life is messy, and there are some things we can't control. We used to sterilize people because of their "race" or to keep two "races" from breeding together. Some of my ancestors would have been targets. Gets a little too "sitting up in my ivory tower" for me.

  15. So here's my controversial take on this. First of all, yes, it is far too easy to reproduce. And while some may take a religious or biological right stance on the subject, the reasons for massive amounts of reproduction no longer exist in first world countries. The planet really cannot sustain such a large population.

    So my thought is that before the onset of puberty, children should be sterilized. With medical technology as advanced as it is now, medical sterilization is reversible. After a person reaches a predetermined age (25ish) and they meet certain criteria (educated and financial secure) and they pass a test - I agree with Al up there - THEN and only then can they opt to have the sterilization reversed.

    It's harsh I know, and I'm sure it screams "civil rights violation" but it makes sense. If, as a species, we aren't going to do something about population growth, then we need to focus all of our efforts and resources into space travel and colonization.

  16. Excellent post. So much to think about.

    I am not sure any ONE solution will cure the problem, but I liked what Sarah (above) said about not teaching that children were the purpose for sex, not just an unwanted result.

    Every single image on TV, songs on the radio, etc. present sex as the expected part of life, not as something special. Unless that changes, we won't ever see an end to unwanted pregnancies.

    As for angry kids becoming angry adults, we can thank TV in part for that as well, starting with the screaming and fighting on Saturday morning cartoons. Anger is acceptable and taught as normal from an early age. Once established, the habit only grows stronger with repetition.

    Thanks for a thought provoking post.

  17. Al -- So true and judging from some of the stories we hear in the news there are more than a few brain deficient types with children in their charge.

    Daniel --Thanks for letting me know how you came to this debate. It's always good to know which media outreaches are effective.

    Sarah - What you say is very true. Abstinence is the best policy, but you'd never know this from what modern culture tells us. The teachers of the truth are up against a powerful pop influence.

    L.Diane -- The way things are we try to provide a temporary fix with a system that is essentially broken in the first place. Too many kids fall through the cracks and like you say this only perpetuates the problem.

    LD -- Yes, housing projects are populated by people with this mindset. It's an unfortunate leeching strata of our society and the taxpayers are punished.

    Damyanti -- Children are a wonderful reward for those who want them and willing to be responsible for them, but can be a burden for society when the parents don't care about their kids.

    Theresa -- I think the sterilization issue could be handled fairly sensibly if dealt with from the outset. Number one, you lay this on the table for new parents who fall under the care of the system--they are given only so many chances and must meet certain criteria. When I hear about a guy who's fathered 15 kids with 8 different women who are all on welfare and he doesn't contribute a thing then the guy needs to be fixed. When a women has 8 kids who are not cared for properly and the mother is on welfare while dealing with a drug problem, she should have been neutered at least 5 kids back. Forced sterilization sounds like a Nazi-type plan in terminology, but when practical application is considered it makes absolute sense. Let's face it, some people are totally irresponsible and don't care and that's when someone needs to step in and take responsibility for them.


  18. HeatherL - You're talking a nearly Huxley Brave New World scenario. Wouldn't that be encouraging irresponsible sexual activity? Possible consequences of sex are not only kids and disease, but there are other sociological and psychological issues at hand. In your sci-fi scenario all of these might be addressed leaving sex as a purely recreational activity like surfing, playing tennis, or sky-diving. If nothing else you've done some world-building for a science fiction novel.

    TM -- I would agree with you and Sarah both. We've all been fed a line by pop culture and a good many have swallowed the hook.


  19. Its not too easy to have kids if you physically can't have them; I can speak from experience adopting two kids it was not easy and we had to go through testing, home visits, counseling etc., to be able to be "fit" to parent a child. That would be neat if people who had kids the "natural" way had to do such a thing, but still we messed up a bit. I'm not sure what the answer is, but parents do need to really truly consider the commitment it takes to raise a child; even as the child ages and becomes an adult, you are always a parent it seems.


  20. I absolutely think we do need to get tougher on the parents. They need to be more involved in their children's lives. I have never seen parents so disassociated from what their kids are doing. Furthermore, when they do get involved, if say their kid does something at school that "finally" warrants the Principal or Teacher calling the parent(s), in MANY cases the parent(s) lash out at the Authority Figures at school and defend their kid... no matter what the kid did.

    What is up with this mentality??? Had I gotten in trouble at school, I would have taken a whack with the paddle before I let them call my parents. Why? Because I knew that anything I got at school would be WAY BETTER than what was waiting for me at home. Getting in trouble at school was Unacceptable Behavior. Whatever I got at school, I was gotta got threefold at home... and that is right. Parents need to back the teachers. Why aren't they?

    The fact that they aren't (and the kids know they won't) is enabling those kids to run around school and say things to teachers like, "You can't do nothing to me. You got no power over me." And the kid is RIGHT. The kids run the show. They run it at school and they run it at home. And those of us in our 40s and older are wondering why the youth have gone wild and crazy... well, there is your answer.

    There is NO ONE who can discipline these kids. They can't whack them anymore in school. The school has no power to keep them in line. And many parents lost the battle when the child was around two years old. It all came down to whose will was stronger and the two-year-old won. And now they are canny enough to know that they are still winning.

    Lee, this isn't all about restricting the entitlements (though that would help, but you can't do that if you don't help put people back to work). You can't ever take something away, without giving someone at least the OPPORTUNITY to better their lot. Yeah, they got themselves into a bad boat by having all these kids, but now they have a lot of mouths to feed and they need a good job. And we need to get tougher on the parents. Give a bit more power back to the Authority Figures in our schools. Someone has to be able to discipline these kids. Not abuse... discipline. Kids need to understand that bad actions lead to consequences. And parents need to become more involved in their kids' lives. Their job didn't end in the Delivery Room.

    I think if parents got more involved and schools were able to discipline (so that they could actually teach), we wouldn't even be discussing sterilization. Why? Because 50 years ago that idea was out of the question. 50 years ago parents parented. Schools taught. And parents were involved enough in their kids' lives to have the tough conversations about sex. And it wasn't just about diseases that might result. Parents talked about how you didn't want to be a kid raising a kid. When parents start doing their job, sterilization is seen as the Civil Rights Injustice that it is.

    Tossing It Out: I can see more lawsuits coming to fruition by people like Jeremy (who indicated above that he wanted kids and never had any) and actually getting them from people who aren't doing their job as parents. There are so many people who WAIT until they have their lives together to have kids and then they CAN'T. They wait until they feel they are mature enough to be parents. And it does not work out. If society doesn't clean up, I expect those who can't have kids to be stepping in and saving the children from those who won't take care of the beautiful children they have. Look how many Grandparents are already raising kids... because this generation is soooo irresponsible and selfish.

  21. It is too easy, but we were designed that way. Our success as a species is very much a quantity over quality approach, I feel.


  22. My first instinct was to agree with your first suggestion-to get the Dads more involved somehow; and that is across the board, not just Dads who don't live in the home.

    That led my thought process to "Education." We learn when we are taught. I'm all for parenting classes, however, who decides what needs to be taught and how it's taught. Also, we can't send Mary and Joe to class if we don't also send Sue and Bill. It has to be a consequence and legal to pick and choose who has to attend.

    As for people like you and me, who "think" we've done a good job, what "incentive" can we have to attend these classes? Kids who get in trouble, also come from "good" families.

  23. Bringing children into the world is such an enormous commitment. My mother always argued for a policy of mandatory sterilization at birth where you earn the right to have children, but that presents a whole new host of problems based on class, education, wealth and who decided when you've earned that right.

  24. I don't think it's too easy to have kids. It's not easier today to have kids than it was 100 years ago or 1000 years ago or any time in the past, and there hasn't been the "child" issue in the past in the same way it's an issue now. It's not having the kids that is the problem.

    The problem is the focus on the self that the baby boomers brought us and which has continued to just grow and grow. Kids have gone from being a goal to a... growth that needs to be cut off. In the past decade, especially, there has been a growing anti-child sentiment in society. More and more restaurants do not allow kids or do not allow them at certain times. Movie theaters have been moving to restrict times when kids are allowed in. And the list goes on and on. Never before in history has there been a society that was so against children. How can you expect them to not grow up in anger when the constant message is "we don't want you."

  25. Betty -- I agree with what you say.

    Robin - So sadly true. I think you have really gotten to the root of much of this problem. Our legal system and societal attitudes have diminished the laws of consequences and shoved personal accountability aside. Many teachers I have spoken to agree that being a teacher no longer functions as one would think and the kids and parental attitudes are making the school systems ineffective in the job of educating kids.

    Mood -- I think you are correct to a certain degree, but the laws of natural selection may also cause the human race to become extinct or eventually evolve into a higher plane. If you believe in that sort of thing.

    Anita -- I think the parenting classes need to come before the thought of parenting even arises. Something for the kids to think about before they start dabbling in behavior that can lead to becoming parents. Let them know what they may be in for if the little ones come along. As far as the dads, I'd like to see more enforcement upon the dads who walk away--or for that matter the moms who walk away. Parenting should not taken lightly as something you can just avoid if you decide you don't like it or it gets the way of your life. Parenting is a serious responsibility.

    Johanna -- I think forced sterilization can only be done after the fact of proving bad parenting. The shaping of society has already been suggest by people like Hitler and we know how that turned out. We shouldn't decide ahead of time who is capable of being allowed to be a parent, but it might make some sense to decide who shouldn't keep procreating because they are abominable parents.


  26. Andrew -- You make a good point. There are a lot of self-centered attitudes of pleasure and getting ahead that excludes kids or makes their presence a nuisance. I do think the real anger comes from the kids who feel not wanted in their home environments. I don't know that they give a padoodle about things like restaurants or whatever--that's more of a hassle for the parents. I know--I've been there. But you can look at soccer fields on a Saturday or anyplace where kids are welcomed and see plenty of parents who care about there kids and are showing them some care. I'm concerned about kids left to run wild and get their upbringing from the wrong sources or the ones who have homes where the resources are great, but the love is not very evident. You can give a kid all the material possessions in the world, but if that kid doesn't feel loved, wanted, and valued as a human being I think that kid's gonna feel some anger and alienation from society. There's your candidate for violent anti-social behavior. The look-at-me-everybody act that gives the kid the attention he's been wanting.

    Yes, it's always been easy to have kids, but I think there's a big lack in discipline and family values.


  27. Yeah, I get all of that. What I'm saying, though, is that when you start with a society that devalues kids and, then, move on to the single parent issue, it just gets worse. The compounding issue, the thing that is making this such an issue -now-, is our society's anti-child views.

  28. It's not a silly question.

    It took my wife and I 5 years, several thousands of dollars, countless failed attempts and one heart wrenching loss to have kids.

    This is weak connection if ever I saw one. Sure under-attended children can get into trouble, but there are still 1,000s that don't. There are still plenty of criminals out there that came from "good backgrounds".

    What exactly do you propose this "enforcement" entail?

    Forced sterilization? WTF? Seriously? That, to put it bluntly, is bat-shit insane. I will not support any government that supports this. The ability to have or not have children is one of very, very few fundamental choices we have as a species. Remove that and your reduce us all to little more than cattle.


    I can not agree with a single thing you have said here.

  29. Parents definitely need to take more responsibility for their children from a very young age, and continue to nurture them throughout their lives. I agree that angry children become angrier adults.


  30. I agree with some of what you said. I do think too many people have children they are ill-prepared to take care of and society suffers as a whole because of it. Darwin's theory sounds good at times, but that would be heartless, wouldn't it? Hmm...

  31. Andrew -- Besides the devaluation of kids I think we also have an issue of people projecting themselves into creating kids in their own image. We have parents and government deciding what's best for kids from their viewpoint and not letting kids really be kids as kids should be. Kids are learning too early, taking on certain attributes of adulthood, and not being allowed to just be silly kids on a road to discovering certain things on their own and deciding their own course in life as they grow older. Kindergarten has become a college prep class and the stress of being a schoolkid continues from there.

    Tim -- But it would probably be a good guess that most of the youth and adults with really big problems come from a problematic background. Enforcement is a tough call because that would entail getting government involved which doesn't sound like a good idea. Forced sterilization is a scary thought, but I've seen more than a few "parents" who should not have any more children and yet they continue to add to the woes of the world and their children frequently perpetuate the problem. So do we let everybody keep producing offspring whether they plan to raise them properly or not? How do we stop the madness of a unruly class that burdens society and often contributes to criminal behavior? I'm trying to discover answers.

    Julie -- Parents have a responsibility for the children that they bring into this world, but what if they refuse to accept that responsibility? You and I know what parents need to do, but apparently a lot of parents don't care and what can we do about that?


  32. Nancy -- Yeah, but Darwin's theory as I understand it is only the fittest survive. It's not heartlessness but just an outcome of the law of the jungle. Humans should be several steps above animals. Also, what about the element of love, responsibility, and planning for a future?


  33. Lee-

    While I sometimes make jokes about sterilizing stupid people (usually in traffic), let's keep in mind that that practice was last tried in the Disney-like environs of Germany in the 1930's.

    Yes, it's easy to have kids, but that's the way God wanted it, and no, we can't sterilize reoeat offenders.

    But also remember, it has only been the last 75 years where the burden was put on the taxpayers to raise all of these children.

    Before that, it was a volunteer effort...and I believe it worked better.

    We will never eradicate poverty or unplanned pregnancies. But with the government safety net, unplanned pregnancy has become less of a hardship, and so, less a thing to be avoided.

    Like many of the social programs...there may have been good intention but it simply was not thought through.

    I could go on and on...but the truth is, a majority of Americans want the government to direct their lives, so what's the point.

    George Orwell just had the year wrong.


  34. Blame the parents by all means, they have a lot to do with it - many are failing. But save some blame for Hollywood, with their offerings of endless violence, Sony and the other gaming companies for the same reason and the relatively new concept of childrens' rights when confronted by the law. Finally, save some blame for the school system that propagates and tolerates (and promotes by default) unacceptable behaviour both from the teachers and the pupils.

  35. The rate of teenage unplanned pregnancy dropped a lot in the 90's and early 2000's. It will be interesting to see where that goes as school cut health programs because of budgets.
    As a teacher, I see a horribly large number of parents who take no responsibility for their children's behavior or problems. Parents must be forced to face the consequences of what they've let their children grow into.

  36. Larry -- If society can condone abortion and birth control how far off base is sterilization of irresponsible breeders? You make a good point that much of this support might be better off provided by charities, families, and other volunteer means. The government has screwed up societal structure in enough ways. Not only has government support made unplanned pregnancy less of a hardship, they've provided some incentive for certain people to procreate at our expense.

    SK -- Indeed, there is plenty of blame to go around, but not many willing to accept that blame.


  37. Susan -- For many parents their children can do no wrong until it's too late and then it's not the fault of the parents. We have a problem with accountability in our society.


  38. Valid questions with no easy answers.

    Personally, I believe, just as I have with your questions about marriage and divorce the only way to solve this one is to invite, as an honored guest, God back into our families. He wrote the manual on child rearing and relationships of every kind. He has the answers. All we have to do is ask.

    Anger issues and violent behavior? Well, their are always going to be rebellious souls no matter how well they were or were not treated throughout their lives, but once again God is the answer.

    I'm sure someone is going to say that's a pretty simplistic view of things, but it's my opinion that it is that simple, at least to start.

  39. Lee...this may be a more volatile subject than the gun laws. The problem is so diverse.

    Kids having kids. When 14, 15 and 16 year olds are having children, that's a big roll of the dice. All sorts of ramifications could come into play not the least of which is sexual abuse.

    The other end of the spectrum are people like the octomom...have kids for the publicity.

    Again this is a very intense subject and the losers are the children.

  40. Yes it is too easy to have kids for majority of the couples. There are yet some very intelligent and responsible people who are striving to have kids and may be lucky enough to have one. I understand your point about making sure that you do not neglect your kids to the extent of ignoring their mental health issues, still if guns are not just lying around, it would have saved a lot of pain and a lot of innocent lives.

  41. ARLEE BOID ~
    There are so many different factors contributing to this problem and there is just TOO MUCH I could write in responding to this post, so I'm going to focus on just one point.

    The 'Free Love' / 'Sexual Revolution' attitude of the Sixties certainly played a big part in what's occurring today.

    Then there are some widely accepted myths that are not what most Americans have been led to believe.

    It takes a lot of serious sociology studying to untangle the story, and I'm not going to try to rewrite, here in a comment section, some of the books I've read that pertain to this topic. So the following will have to do for now:

    >> . . . I don't have any statistics to back up my claim, but I'd say it's a good bet that many perpetrators of violent activity come from backgrounds where poor parenting was to blame in a big way.

    From 'IS GOD ON AMERICA'S SIDE?' (2008), by Erwin Lutzer:

    Incredibly, one in every one hundred adult Americans is now in prison - that makes 2.3 million adults behind bars. Michael Singletary, retired Hall of Fame linebacker for the Chicago Bears, gives his testimony in prisons. He says he asks prisoners, "How many of you had a warm relationship with your father?" He recently reported that he is still waiting for the first hand to be raised.

    Now that's something to really think about! (Odd how the media and entertainment sources and social engineers have led us to conclude that fathers really aren't a particularly important part in the raising of children.)

    >> . . . Sex education classes can help prevent unwanted pregnancies, but obviously they've not overly effective.

    That's only one of the myths I alluded to above. It can be shown that in fact Sex Education Classes have actually had the REVERSE effect on unwanted pregnancies.

    However, I said I would only address ONE of the contributing factors in my comment, and I've already done that.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

  42. I think the future will necessitate enforced contraception which can be removed when the situation warrants it. Still a pipe dream, but I think it will happen.


  43. Faraway -- You're a step ahead of me and I plan to catch up before I run through all the usual excuses. I think the solution you suggest is the best one.

    Chuck -- Sad, but the biggest losers are the children. But all of society loses something in this mess that we have on our hands.

    Munir -- The guns are mere inanimate objects. It takes a misguided mind to abuse the power of the gun and unfortunately we are producing way too many misguided minds.

    StMc -- You are correct about the vast scope of this topic. One could probably devote a blog to this topic alone or at least many, many posts. You've addressed a couple of very important issues in your excellent comment. Many more factors and many variations of each theme. Too much for me to cover considering there are books on the subject.

    JoJo -- In a way the idea of forced contraception sounds almost as scary and controlling as forced sterilization. Isn't there still a big something missing if things came to this?


  44. I always say that my husband and I have spent more time thinking about the ramifications of not having kids than most people spend thinking about having kids.
    My one piece of advice is to go back to strengthening and supporting marriage in society. Without it, we are all lost; I am just certain.
    As a kid who grew up without a father and a crazy as hell mother I know just how bad it is to have kids living with parents that should never have had them.
    And yet I value life above all and would never tell anyone to dispose of their children for any reason. We need kids as part of healthy relationships that are intentional, not just feel good fun times for a couple of irresponsible adults.
    I always pray that all kids end up loved and wanted, even if they didn't come into the world that way.

  45. Jasmine -- Strengthening family in every way is important. It starts with the individuals and extends to the relationships. Everyone one of us deserves to feel loved and wanted and this is most importantly true with the children who are brought into this ofttimes crazy world.


  46. Good post, Lee. I think people (some, anyway) fail to see the big picture and where this all takes us when irresponsibility is so prevalent.

  47. I think there is something else to consider. Our government needs to get out of implementing social policy, encouraging people to marry and have kids with tax breaks. I think we need to engage in ending the pressure on people to marry and have kids as the only accepted course of a life. I think people need to really consider why they want children and if they would make good parents. It shouldn't be for selfish reasons, fulfilling an empty picture of what a life is supposed to look like, what the movies say and the families say. And for those who recommend cutting the handouts, I just say that it is proven that children born in poverty, who are hungry in their first few years of life, can suffer developmental delays that can be permanent. Starvation of children in America isn't the answer to make the world safer and children less prone to violence.

  48. Karen -- Not to a good place I'm sure.

    Julie -- Encouraging families who can afford it to have kids makes sense for the sustainability of the productive portion of society, but the hangers on need to be discouraged from adding to the lower strata of society.


  49. Don't like the idea of forced anything, but in this case there's a good point here to consider.
    Silvia (from A to Z Challenge)

  50. How funny, my husband and I have had similar discussions, and our solutions were pretty much the same as yours. I actually feel very strongly supportive of those solutions, especially the last one (forced sterilization of repeated offenders; they don't need to procreate!).


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